Stupid Guest Tricks

felinefan wrote:The sickest one I've heard of was this couple were coming up from Mexico, and the woman was holding a baby. Officers got suspicious because the baby wasn't moving. When they insisted on checking the baby's blanket-wrapped body, they discovered the baby was dead, and had been cut open, most of the organs had been removed, and half a key of cocaine had been packed in the body cavity and sewn shut. When confronted and arrested, the couple acted like it was no big deal to kill an innocent baby and use its hollowed out body to smuggle drugs in. I don't remember if it was their kid or not.

Folks, there's a reason this stuff is called DOPE.

hobie16 wrote:We may not be that far from strip searches:

Saudi Prince Almost Killed by (ahem) "Butt Bomb"

Yes, you read that right. It appears that Al Qaeda has learned a drug smuggling trick.

Taking a trick from the narcotics trade - which has long smuggled drugs in body cavities - [suicide bomber Abdullah] Asieri had a pound of high explosives, plus a detonator inserted in his rectum.

The Saudi Prince Mohammed Bin Nayef, who was the target of this suicide bomber, survived.

According to this news report, Al Qaeda will be releasing information on the internet about how this kind of suicide bomb will work. It appears that a text message triggered the bomb that was tucked safely away inside the bomber's bum.

"This is the nightmare scenario," said Chris Yates, an aviation security consultant.

On a plane at altitude, the effects of such a bomb could be catastrophic. And there is no current security system that could stop it.

Is anyone else starting to wonder what the airport security procedures will be like down the road?

And the jokes are:

They're calling him the "Trojan Bomber" - do you think this is in reference to the Trojan Horse, or to the bomb's container?

Royal pain in the ass.

It would have worked but he couldn't bring himself to shove 10 lbs of roofing nails up his ass too.

Think of the poor dogs that will have to be trained to sniff these things out.

The kibble is kept in a big garbage can, and when it's running low I have to lean way over to scoop it. The husky gooses me EVERY time.

Just screen everyone who's walking funny.

How many bums could a bum bomb bomb if a bum bomb could bomb bums?

Well, if I wasn't on the watch list before, I'm bound to be now. No way I get past airport security after eating a few enchiladas.

Did you just fart or is that C4 I smell?

I don't know about y'all, but if I start seeing airport security guards wearing Roto-Rooter uniforms I'm turning back.

felinefan wrote:I still remember this one time when I was a conductor in the Calico Railroad at Knott's, this large family group was checking out the stagecoach on display, surrounded by signs warning not to climb in and to stay back from the cactus that was planted next to it. Three year old kid in the group got too close to cactus--parents weren't watching, of course--and the kid reaped the consequences of trying to handle cactus. The kicker was, after First Aid got there and took care of the kid, the parents and grandparents were like, cactus actually hurts when you touch it? Amazing how many guests think the plants are fake. Yes, I had several people ask me if the trees, plants, etc. were real or not.

CBeilby wrote:Reminds me of the time I was working Haunted Shack, and ended up having to escort a family to First Aid after their daughter got some thorns in her hand from the prickly pears that were sticking through the fence (KBF's fault here, this was an obvious safety issue, but no one had done anything about it.)

GRUMPY PIRATE wrote:Sorry, urban legend.

closest was narcotics in a dirty diaper.

and a "body pack" of adult in the legs (surgically implanted)