Stupid Guest Tricks

SpeedFreak wrote:And think, you don't even work here. The real fun is yet to start Monorail_Red. One of these days I'm going to have to tell my SG BJ story (while I was at the MK!) since it's epic like that, but I've been saving it for a special occasion.

Don't wait too long,I aint gettin any younger you know. ;)

BRWombat wrote:A few hours' detention and a strip search should cure her...

We may not be that far from strip searches:

Saudi Prince Almost Killed by (ahem) "Butt Bomb"

Yes, you read that right. It appears that Al Qaeda has learned a drug smuggling trick.

Taking a trick from the narcotics trade - which has long smuggled drugs in body cavities - [suicide bomber Abdullah] Asieri had a pound of high explosives, plus a detonator inserted in his rectum.

The Saudi Prince Mohammed Bin Nayef, who was the target of this suicide bomber, survived.

According to this news report, Al Qaeda will be releasing information on the internet about how this kind of suicide bomb will work. It appears that a text message triggered the bomb that was tucked safely away inside the bomber's bum.

"This is the nightmare scenario," said Chris Yates, an aviation security consultant.

On a plane at altitude, the effects of such a bomb could be catastrophic. And there is no current security system that could stop it.

Is anyone else starting to wonder what the airport security procedures will be like down the road?

And the jokes are:

They're calling him the "Trojan Bomber" - do you think this is in reference to the Trojan Horse, or to the bomb's container?

Royal pain in the ass.

It would have worked but he couldn't bring himself to shove 10 lbs of roofing nails up his ass too.

Think of the poor dogs that will have to be trained to sniff these things out.

The kibble is kept in a big garbage can, and when it's running low I have to lean way over to scoop it. The husky gooses me EVERY time.

Just screen everyone who's walking funny.

How many bums could a bum bomb bomb if a bum bomb could bomb bums?

Well, if I wasn't on the watch list before, I'm bound to be now. No way I get past airport security after eating a few enchiladas.

Did you just fart or is that C4 I smell?

I don't know about y'all, but if I start seeing airport security guards wearing Roto-Rooter uniforms I'm turning back.

(note to self,,,warn everyone I know to 'not' eat chilli dogs before a flight....except that guy over there) :twisted:

Butt Bombers.......
The companies who manufacture gloves, KY and Proctoscopes will profit from the new screening measures........
Time to invest! :D:

darph nader wrote:(note to self,,,warn everyone I know to 'not' eat chilli dogs before a flight....except that guy over there) :twisted:

thats a idea, feed everyone hot spicy food 1 hour before a flight.
who ever dont explode gets on the plane...
wow, think of how people will jump every time they hear a fart.

sadly, there have been other types of body packers.

one was where a kilo was inserted surgically into each leg of a smuggler.

the only problem was that the doctor they used was a vet, and not an M.D., he botched the sutchure.

it won't be long before they find a doctor.....

Of course if you wanted to be a butt bomber,you would sure find out who your friends were when getting in 'set up'."Hey,could you give me a hand with this?"

&quot wrote:Don't wait too long,I aint gettin any younger you know.

I was hoping to wait until SGs stopped being so... SGy. Then I'd pop that story to keep everyone from becoming complacent. A few people including BW have heard this one and I'm sure they'd correct me if I am wrong in thinking this.

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I think the guy who filled a cigar tube with coke and hid it in his fat rolls gets the award in this particular category. He used what he had to make money. And he didn't have any pains he couldn't honestly explain to his parents the next morning either.

Actually, on second thought he did go to jail. So maybe not that last part.

some of the other methods can also be used.

theworst one is the swallowers.without an x-ray, no way to tell. just by what they may carry in their purse/backpack.

and there have been a number of deaths from that.

The sickest one I've heard of was this couple were coming up from Mexico, and the woman was holding a baby. Officers got suspicious because the baby wasn't moving. When they insisted on checking the baby's blanket-wrapped body, they discovered the baby was dead, and had been cut open, most of the organs had been removed, and half a key of cocaine had been packed in the body cavity and sewn shut. When confronted and arrested, the couple acted like it was no big deal to kill an innocent baby and use its hollowed out body to smuggle drugs in. I don't remember if it was their kid or not.

Folks, there's a reason this stuff is called DOPE.