Post
by ButImAGoodAP » Mon Sep 15, 2008 3:39 am
First of all, I just want to say that I'm horrified by what I see idiot parents let their kids do/say/climb on/grab/push/lick/sit on/kick/etc. My son is 16 now and has always been well-mannered. I raised him to know what the rule were and the consequences of not following them. Go figure.
So, my annoying kid/annoying parent experience from earlier this evening:
I was waiting in line at Cosmic Ray's (Don't even get me started about why families of SEVEN need to ALL stand in line together... or why they stand BESIDE their strollers, completely blocking the "exit" aisle people must negotiate while carrying trays laden with food and drinks...).
Anyhoo, there I was, patiently waiting, when I feel this strange tugging behind my left shoulder. And I hear a little "plop" near my foot. I turn to look and see that cute little Johnny has unzipped my backpack and is pulling things out and tossing them on the floor. Expensive sunglasses? Plop. Blood glucose monitor? Plop. Bottle of Tylenol? Rattle, rattle...plop. Wallet? Plop. Asthma inhaler? Plop. All in the three seconds it took my mind to register that this kind of behavior was really, actually happening. In the real, actual world.
I swat his hand away, yank the backback forward, and stoop down to gather my things. As I'm frantically shoving my things back in the bag, trying rather unsuccessfully not to get in the way of the previously-mentioned tray-balancers, I look up at Mommy dearest, expecting to see her at least pretend to admonish adorable little Johnny for this ridiculously unacceptable behavior.
Now I must take a several deep breaths for fear of bursting into flames...
Because, what this woman -- this hideous and inexplicable creature obviously from another dimension, an alternate universe -- did was to glare at me, hug her child to her indignant self, and shout, loudly, "Oh, Johnny, did that mean lady HURT you?" -- and then kick my asthma inhaler out of reach.
True story.
I'll be careful.
You'll be DEAD!
----------
Mmm, jelly donuts.Glggllluhgllguhggll...
----------
FACT: Brian Wilson lost his mind when he was 28.