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Re: Stubborn Parent Tricks
Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:35 pm
by Whazzup
Oh Bru, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time with your Dad. Hopefully some of the above suggestions may help you deal with him. He's probably scared to death it will be something life threatening and then he'll have to do something about it.
I hope you can get him to cooperate somehow, as YOU don't need the additional stress of trying to deal with his stubbornness over his condition. Maybe it is time for tough love - talking about eventual funeral arrangements might be just the trick. Nobody likes to talk about that stuff, but maybe bringing it up will make him realize he needs to get checked out, NOW!
Re: Stubborn Parent Tricks
Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:45 pm
by Big Wallaby
I have to apologize, I don't care to delete this thread. I don't see you as complaining, but rather, I think that this is one of those threads that makes SGT so much more than just a message board, but rather a community. I consider it the closest thing we'll get any time soon to Walt's EPCOT: An online home for Cast Members. We all have our days, and this is a place designed to vent, no matter who you are: current Cast Member, former, future, or just someone who likes us.
Unless you really want it gone, I say it stands. There has been some good advice here, and if I ever have to deal with this with my parents (God, I hope not), then there is good advice for me to come back and find here. That goes for anyone else, too.
If you really, really want it gone, just pm me and I'll do it.
Re: Stubborn Parent Tricks
Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:52 pm
by Whazzup
Wallaby's right, Bru. The advice offered here can be very helpful to you and others in this situation.
I'm having to deal with the issue of my mother, who lives alone and should be in a care facility but WILL NOT leave her home. She has early Alzheimers and lives out in Oregon, while I'm here in Florida, too far away to provide care. My brother in Washington State has applied for legal guardianship so he can deal with getting her into a facility, and they have already butted heads over the issue. I need to make a trip out there when the legalities are finalized, so I can help him get her moved, and I know it's going to be a battle, but she's no longer safe by herself. :(
Re: Stubborn Parent Tricks
Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 5:19 pm
by Princess Susi
I hold you all in my heart. My parents are 86 now and still in good shape, live on their own, still with each other after 65 yrs, (WOW!!!) and still pretty healthy. But they are 86 and that means, I know we have less time with them and I pray everyday that they stay healthy and independent. I know the day will come when my brothers and sister and I will have to make some decisions for one or the other and I don't savor that thought. But is is inevitable in all our lives if our parents live long enough. I just hope I can be strong when I am needed to be. I tend to be like my mom, very emotional and not good with doing difficult emotional things, but at least my sister is less emotional than I and the eldest and can handle things.
I am praying for you Bru, Whazzup and Planner and anyone with a parent that needs support. It is hard emotionally, physically and mentally. It is hard to become the parent to one who took care of you all your life.
I am here if anyone needs to talk. You have my prayers and you are in my heart. <3
Susi
Re: Stubborn Parent Tricks
Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 5:47 pm
by February
this is not my day! I just typed a huge reply to this and then hit the wrong button and it's gone.
Long story short- dad isn't afraid of dying because he very nearly did a few years back and now it's like he hates retirement and he's bored and all my parents do is fight (all they ever did was fight) and I don't think he cares. I've even tried bribing him with trips to disney it's his favorite place to go but nothing is working.
there are so many factors behind the scenes in play here- it's hard to explain them all and I don't want to bore people anyway but Wallaby you're right, if this thread can help somebody who is reading or has dealt with similiar frustrations like Planner apparently has. . .then you're right, I guess it should stay.
I didnt'want people to think I was bi*ching about taking care of my parents- it's all I have tried to do in the past 8 years especially- ironic considering my own doctors tell me that I can't let my BP go up or I risk another stroke.
I sit here watching the reading on the monitor go up and having chest pains and I'm beginning to wonder just how much one child out of four is supposed to have to sacrifice for two grown adults who are behaving like spoiled preschoolers.
I hope that there aren't too many typos it's hard to type when you can't see te screen through your tears.
I'm grateful for SGT and thanks, Wallaby, for being the thoughtful guy you are and for thinking somehow I fit in here with all the wonderful Cm's- I was one so briefly and so many years ago to know that guests and cast alike can find a place here is really special.
Wazzup (((((((((((huge hugs))))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.
xoxo to all
Bru
Re: Stubborn Parent Tricks
Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 6:20 pm
by hobie16
Dealing with parents, here's my story.
My mom came from a LARGE Irish Catholic family that's spread all over the Pacific Northwest. My parents decided to go on a road trip to visit her siblings and their children. A week later Mt. Saint Helens blew its top.
I didn't put two and two together until the phone rang about ten that night. It was my grandmother calling from New Jersey. She asked if I had heard from my father. I said I hadn't and she starts wailing, "THE VOLCANO GOT THEM!!"
I said wait a minute, lemme get a map. Spokane is hundreds of mile away from the blast so they okay. She said okay and hung up.
I figured I'd better check on them so after trying to get through to one of my uncle's, I finally got through at 1 AM. My uncle said they had left two days before and were headed to a cousin's place in Northeastern Washington.
For the next week my grandmother called at 10 PM every night and continued to wail, "THE VOLCANO GOT THEM!!"
My parents finally called after they got home. I asked my dad if he had called his mother. He had. I then told him about the daily banshee screams I'd received for a week. I also told him he now knew what my brother and I had dealt with while we were growing up. The silence was well worth the wailing I put up with for a week.