How to get through the Grief....

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Princess Susi
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Re: How to get through the Grief....

Post by Princess Susi » Tue Oct 23, 2007 10:34 am

Thank you, all of you! Today the pain is not so sharp and raw. I can look at his picture and think of him without crying. It comes and goes. The worst part is just missing him, his physical being. I want so bad to hug him and kiss his furry head, tell him how much I love him and hear his meow in return.
The other cats have calmed down. Our little Oliver who was Orion's best buddy (they used to curl up together and hang out in the sun together) has been coming to us at night and sleeping on the pillow that Orion used to sleep on everynight. Oliver always liked to sleep by himself and greet Orion in the morning by the dining room window in the morning sun and they would hang out til I gave them some cream.
Now Oliver is lonely and coming to sleep with us. He is our little "fraidy cat". He is the kind of cat who hides all day and does not really want a lot of attention, will run from you when you try to pick him up. Now he is becoming more affectionate. He misses his best friend. The other two, "the girls". Tawny and Tinkerbell are just kinda confused. Tawny, I think misses him too, a little, but Tink just does not have anyone to start fights with. She used to attack every morning and get her ass whipped by Orion, so she is kinda lost.

I love you, my friends, for your kind words and support.

Churchy, you are right, the support of good friends is ever so important in a terrible time. I will lean on you in the coming days and rest assured my friend, I will be here for you WHENEVER you need me! Please consider getting together with Ralphie and me when we come in December, please. It would be a joy to give you a hug and get a Churchy hug! :)

Hobie, I will be waiting to hear about math class! Deal. Thanks for being here for me. It is good to know you are out there in the world who understands that connection!

DisneyMom: Thanks so much for being here! I so appreciate your friendship on and off the threads and your love is appreciated. I am praying for YOU right now in California! Please, Be safe my friend!

Purpura: Thanks for the kind, loving words, those who have known and loved and lost a pet, know...We will all be meeting our friends on that Rainbow Bridge someday...I believe... GOD has been good to us, he gave us an extra 6 months with our boy. Prayer really does work! I hope to see you in December at DL!

Shorty; I am sorry you cried. I did not mean to make anyone cry. Our true furry friends teach us about unconditional love, don't they? No strings attached, just pure sweet love for whoever we are, whatever we look like, none of that matters to our furry beloved friends! Thank you for being here for me as well!

Sorcerer Mickey: Thanks you for thinking of me. Just hold those furry little bundles of love close to your heart. Orion could have had another 6-7 yrs(?) if it had not been for both the diabetes he suffered for 8 yrs and then the monster cancer that destroyed his organs. That makes me angry. I don't know why he had to get cancer on top of having diabetes. I will never understand why he had to suffer twice the illnesses. I know he has wings now and is watching us. His spirit lives on in this house and will always. I hold him so close in my heart and mind.

My dear, big, furry, huggable Wombat friend: Thanks you for being here. It is folks like you that make bearing the pain easier. I know I have friends here like you to lean on and it somehow makes the burden a little lighter. Not that the pain goes away, but with warm and loving friends, the pain is easier to bear! I will gladly accept any marsupial hugs you mentally throw my way! :)

Ktulu: *hugs* accepted, my friend. Hugs have a way of helping to melt pain away. Hugs let you know that the person giving them is on your side. Hugs are a special way of showing someone you care. Thank you for caring! And I *hug* you back!

My dear Syndrome: Thanks to you and your furry friends. I appreciate your response so much because of your counseling background. I have a good many Pet Loss books here (bought back in March when we got the prognosis of 2-3 months, then prayers gave us 6 months more with him) I have been reading them and they give great advice on how to get through the steps of grief and I know both Ralphie and I MUST go through the steps to come to the other side. I have read Kubler-Ross and have a small background in Psych, a minor in college with my English/Communications major. We MUST honor our feelings as they come. Believe me, I have NO problem showing my grief and living every second of it. I am an emotional person, as is Ralph. We had a houseguest (Our CPA and actually a very good friend) here from Saturday until today. It was just strange timing. Orion left us at 12:20PM Sat. and Ralphie HAD to race to the airport to pick our friend up immediately after, so he was a diversion for Ralphie as they worked on our finances while he was here. I think Ralphie will be feeling more now that he left for the airport this morning. I am especially concerned about Ralphie, because this was the first "catchild" we got together. Ralph, from the beginning, became so attached to Orion. He was a sickly, little, gray kitten from the very beginning with an obsession with food. Always hungry and so tiny you could hold him in the palm of your hand. He grew to 25 lbs eventually! Ralph called Orion his son from the first second he held him. *I picture delivering a furry child with claws, whiskers and a tail and it freaks me out * :eek: :D: But we loved him as a son. Couples who choose not to have human children DO feel the same love for their furry children as parents do for their human children. It is the same, in my opinion. Those who would tell me "it was only an animal, you can *replace* it", are unaware or misinformed about the love between petchild and their human *parents*. There is no replacing a special, individual, unique being. I truly believe the bond is the same. We know they will probably leave us sooner because they don't live as long, but we don't care. We want to share as much love with these furchildren as possible. I love what you said, here...

QUOTE: "I know firsthand what it's like to lose beloved kitties; it's such a heart breaker, but it's the price we pay for having them in our lives and the price is worth it when you think of all the love they give us in return. But of course that never makes it any easier when that time comes":QUOTE

THIS is SO true. The price is more than worth it when you realize what you get in return!!! Orion's influence and love in our life will never leave us. I learned to love a "special needs" being by having Orion. He needed us all the time. We had to schedule our life around his insulin shots and we did so, lovingly and willingly and when the cancer came, we had to change and rearrange our life. We cancelled our month long WDW trip last May and we stayed home EVERY day. We are retired and fortunately for Orion, he had our attention 100%, we did not have to leave each day except for regular errands. We did not go anywhere for more than a few hours. We now need a break. I see how those who are caretakers for a terminally ill family member need rest and escape from the constant presence and work of caring for the terminally ill. It is exhausting physically (you do lose much sleep), exhausting spiritually and emotionally, (you give and give and cry and beg GOD and make deals with GOD and pray til you cannot utter words anymore). It takes so much out of a person.

We are going away at Christmas for a week at DL and we hope to do our annual WDW trip in May or perhaps September mext year. We will take more day trips to just *get away* now. We need to recover and rest. We will try to take a drive up to Rocky Mountain National Park, it is only about an hour from here. We could take a weekend over to the Hot Springs on the western slope. We just need to get away from a house that has been filled with pain and sadness and a vigil of death for the past 8-9 months. Our other kitties do extremely well at the kennel. Our vet and kennel is Alameda East, for anyone who has ever watched the "Emergency Vets" show on the Animal Planet channel, that is our vet. Dr.'s Santen and Fitzgerald are amazing veterinarians. They are so loving with the creatures and Dr. Santen was Orion's primary doctor and he has cried with us and we always told him, if anything had ever happend to us, he would get Orion!

I am doing better today. I am going to have to watch Ralphie, as he had our CPA here as a diversion for the weekend. He may be feeling a delayed grief from holding it in for 3 days.
We had a wonderful in-home veterinarian perform the Euthanasia. It was so much better for Orion to go on from his beloved home than to go to a hospital. I would recommend this to anyone who find themselves in this place.
She left us with a wonderful poem. I don't know if she wrote it or not but I wanted to share it with you;

"To Those I Love and Those Who Love Me"

When I am gone, Release me, Let me go-
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears,
Be thankful for our beautiful years.

I gave you my love, You can only guess
How Much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown,
But now it's time I travelled on alone.

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It's only for a time that we must part
So bless the memories within your heart.

I won't be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me, Call, and I will come.
Though you can't see me or touch me, I'll be near
And if you listen with your heart, you will hear
All my love around you you soft and clear.

And then, when you must come this way alone
I'll greet you with a smile and say:
"Welcome Home"

Thanks again, my friends for all your kindness and support! If you ever need me for strength and hugs, I will gladly be there for you. Your caring has shown me, that I don't have to grieve alone. I will pass onto Ralphie your sentiments and I am sure he will come to talk to you as well.

Thanks again and I am back to post...I am truly praying for others at this time, elsewhere in the country, but continue to remember and honor our beloved Orion.
And I already spoke to Ralphie about going to a shelter to find another kitty who needs a home and all the love we have to give, but we won't do it til after our December trip to DL. When we get back we will have more time to spend with a new member of the family and to acclimate him/her to our life here. I will ALWAYS find more kitties to love and take out of shelters. Too many don't get homes and having worked in a shelter, I know how heartbreaking it was to leave all the animals, (dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs, birds, even sssnakes there at night. They all need a family to hug them and give them a warm home. I am the ultimate, "Mommy, He followed me home, Can I keep him?" :D: Just ask my mom how many creatures I invited into my parent's home when I was young, even the creature that lived in the creek behind our house... LOL! :)

If I knew how to post pics I would post an Orion pic here. Hey all you techmeisters, help!!!!!! I have all my pics in my digital camera. Do I need to load them to a site like Photo Bucket and then transfer them here. And how do you do that? Any helpful instructions would be appreciated. I already have them in files on "My Computer" but don't know the first thing about getting them over to a thread or an email.

I would love to share a picture of my kittyboy with you and then also I could share some crazy trip pics from DL and WDW with you. So if any of the tech geeks can figure out how to easily explain the process of transfer of pics from digicam to PC (and where to transfer them to) I would be ever so grateful and in your debt!
Love to you all! It is great to be back even if a little bit today! :)


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Re: How to get through the Grief....

Post by Purpura » Tue Oct 23, 2007 12:07 pm

Put them on Photobucket or another website thing that hosts pictures, then post the URL here to that exact webpage... and if there's a password thingy post that too if regular folks complain they can't get to it...


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Re: How to get through the Grief....

Post by Princess Susi » Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:02 pm

Thanks! I will get to doing that! :) susi


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Re: How to get through the Grief....

Post by hobie16 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:03 pm

Post the pictures in Photo Bucket or Flicker and copy the URL for the pic. Click Reply on SGT. Click on the yellow icon with the mountains and sun in it. A window will open. Paste the URL in it and click Okay. Type in your message and hit Preview Post to review. If you're happy with the results hit Submit Reply. Your pic will be part of the message.

Here's what happened to me in math class.


I’m not very good at math. I got kicked out of math class when I was twelve and told never to return. Here’s what happened.

One day in class the teacher says, “I want someone to divide 46/57 by 23/38. You!” he says, pointing at me.

I start to stammer, “Ummmm, well, aaaaaaa.”

“Think!!” he demands.

“I'm trying to think.” I reply.

“All right,” he says, “What’s our common denominator?”

“Well,” I replied, “We both lust after eleven old girls.”



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Re: How to get through the Grief....

Post by DisneyMom » Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:25 pm

hobie16 wrote:Post the pictures in Photo Bucket or Flicker and copy the URL for the pic. Click Reply on SGT. Click on the yellow icon with the mountains and sun in it. A window will open. Paste the URL in it and click Okay. Type in your message and hit Preview Post to review. If you're happy with the results hit Submit Reply. Your pic will be part of the message.

Here's what happened to me in math class.


I’m not very good at math. I got kicked out of math class when I was twelve and told never to return. Here’s what happened.

One day in class the teacher says, “I want someone to divide 46/57 by 23/38. You!” he says, pointing at me.

I start to stammer, “Ummmm, well, aaaaaaa.”

“Think!!” he demands.

“I'm trying to think.” I reply.

“All right,” he says, “What’s our common denominator?”

“Well,” I replied, “We both lust after eleven old girls.”

Hobie, you ROCK! :D:


:flybongo: NO BULL!!!!!:D:

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Re: How to get through the Grief....

Post by Big Wallaby » Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:55 pm

Hi Susie, sorry I didn't respond until now.

So sorry for you and your family -1 member today, I know that pain, and when it's feline cancer it's even worse. I am reminded of my beautiful all-white cat with blue eyes, Sammy. He never got past six months, so I can only imagine how much harder it is after ten years.

Thoughts and prayers for you and yours.


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Re: How to get through the Grief....

Post by Princess Susi » Tue Oct 23, 2007 7:42 pm

Thank you so much Wallaby! It is difficult if they are 6 months or 10 yrs, Love is Love! Anyone who has ever lost a furry family member *knows* the pain and hollow spot that is left. I know that brighter times are ahead and there will be a time when we only think of the good positive times with him, but right now, I miss holding his furry body and hearing him purr. He had his own special scent too and I miss that. The little things, you know. They are quite the big things now.

Okay Hobie Wan-six Kenobi...you are a sick human bean...LOL! That one made me laugh...hard. You have the best jokes. Are you a stand up comedian? You should be, if not! :D: You got me to smile.
Thanks for the tech info. I am such a lamo, I am really not computer savvy at all. Hey, we did not have em when I was in college! Yep, I AM OLD! ;)
susi-Q


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Re: How to get through the Grief....

Post by darph nader » Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:58 pm

My deepest sorrows susi. We had a Dachshund for ten years,his name was 'Bishop',(after the andriod). Of course he had back problems. So 7yrs ago,we're packing the car to head to Cali,and Bishop was at the door,with a look in his eyes like "Dude I'm going to last through the day". Of course I thought "Oh shit".Sure as all get-out,my daughter called and said he was dead. :( The worst part was he died all alone.We'll 'never' own a pure breed dog again.



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Re: How to get through the Grief....

Post by hobie16 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 9:33 pm

susislicker wrote:Okay Hobie Wan-six Kenobi...you are a sick human bean...LOL! That one made me laugh...hard. You have the best jokes. Are you a stand up comedian? You should be, if not!
I taught sales reps and systems engineers for fifteen years and then ran a corporate demo center. It was pretty dry stuff so I was always injecting humor to keep the class awake. Besides, they were a captive audience for up to two weeks. Buuuwwwaaaaahahahahahaha!!

I did things like put goofy answers in tests and, after resurecting 750 GB of data in fifteen seconds in a demo, playing Bad To The Bone to prove it worked. The founder of the company was standing in the back of the room during one session and almost exploded because he was laughing so hard.

One of the guys I team taught with was black so we'd do Crockett and Tubbs or Little Stevie Wonder and his walkin' around guy.

I was walking through the classroom building one day and one of the straight-laced instructors saw me. She asked if I could watch her class for ten minutes so she could Xerox some handouts. By the time she got back I had the class singing Louie Louie and standing on the tables. At least no one wandered off.

Fun times!



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Re: How to get through the Grief....

Post by Princess Susi » Wed Oct 24, 2007 10:53 pm

Aw Darph, I am so sorry...That is very sad. :( Purebreds are a lot less sturdy than the mutts. I have always loved doggies and had them as a kid. I have just had cats since I grew up! Cats have a way of taking care of themselves and don't require walks to take a dump and can really make you feel insignificant! LOL! Dogs love you ALL the time, cats only love you when they want something. They really like *shiny* things! They like to make you feel like a klutz by running in front of you after appearing from nowhere and then they sit back and purr real loud after you have fallen on your ass! They really are a lot like women, aren't they? :D: LOLOLOL!!! :hysteria:
susi-Q


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