Call an @$$ hole...

[Honda Enoch]

When you occasionally have a really bad day and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying,
"Hello." I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot.

The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window so, I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea.

I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" But I didn't hang up.

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

I called Asshole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th Street.

There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW, I feel better.

[darph nader]

Kinda like doing a 'change of address' for some shit-head you don't like. :twisted:

[Main Streeter]

Received this in an Em abt 2 yrs. ago Enoch.

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

guess the writer of that never heard of a trap and trace for harrassing phone calls, or caller id for the second caller (actually for the first one also, after several calls) or the "*69" program.

but that story did perfectly describe an SG's attitude.

[hobie16]

guess the writer of that never heard of a trap and trace for harrassing phone calls, or caller id for the second caller (actually for the first one also, after several calls) or the "*69" program.

but that story did perfectly describe an SG's attitude.

It's an old joke with old technology. These days it just takes a couple of key strokes to trace calls half way around the world.

[turkeyham]

I had one of those unknown callers call me a few months ago. This stupid teenager called me saying I was her friend Michelle and was crank calling me constantly. I called her back and told her that she had the wrong phone number. She kept on calling me. I called my friend who is the watch comander at the local police department. He told her that if she was to call me, her line was going to be traced and she would be thrown in jail. The girl never called me back either.


Now for yesterday, I was in the DL park, there were a bunch of guests waiting in line to get some food off a vending cart. Some SG came walking up on the side and wanted the cast member to take their order first. Smart cast member did not go for that and made them get into the 10 person waiting line. Foriegners, those who think line cuting is ok, NOT!! It is not fair like those 10 who were waiting there first. I think there should be a roped off que and let the other SG figure out where to go. :twisted:

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

It's an old joke with old technology. These days it just takes a couple of key strokes to trace calls half way around the world.

true..of course, the terminology seems to hang around! hehehehe

although I do remember going into a b box to put a loop extender on. ahhh fun times.

[techie-13]

true..of course, the terminology seems to hang around! hehehehe

although I do remember going into a b box to put a loop extender on. ahhh fun times.

Hey, another "phone guy". I kind of figured Hobie was from some of his posts. Now, if I can ever get you, Hobie and my Hubby (also a "phone guy") in the same room, it could be fun to listen to.

[darph nader]

It's an old joke with old technology. These days it just takes a couple of key strokes to trace calls half way around the world.

Just great. I finally learn to cut & paste and you want me to learn something new. Lower your expectations there bud. :(

[Lasolimu]

Just great. I finally learn to cut & paste and you want me to learn something new. Lower your expectations there bud. :(

Don't worry, we won't move you too fast, next you need to learn to copy and paste.