Why take your kids?

[Syndrome]

As a professional in the psychology field, I can tell you that there are some parents who will indeed get their child labeled autistic or ADHD or whatever in order to get special treatment for the child. It's disgusting and an insult to kids who really have these disorders. The ADHD thing is commonly done to get kids to be able to take standardized tests with no time limit. The autism label is useful in certain states to get certain therapies paid for that parents just want for the kids. For example, in CA there was (maybe still is) a program that would pay for horseback riding lessons for autistic kids. While animal therapy is absolutely legitimate, the parents were just doing it to get the freebie. Sad.....

[Syndrome]

Addendum to my post above:

http://autismdiva.blogspot.com/2007/07/ ... -rush.html

[disneyprincess1988]

Syndrome, I have to agree with you. That behavior from parents is despicable and guaranteed to make the child hate them later in life. And they're just teaching the child to be dishonest and deceitful as well. How horrible.

[Sarah Magdalene]

My biggest reason to be annoyed with the Label of "Autism" is that is often used as an instant forgiveness for whatever the child does wrong or bothers people. Be it hitting, bites, steal, annoy others, tantrum throw, etc. I once saw a kid wearing a button that said, "I'm not misbehaving, I have Autism. BE UNDERSTANDING!" Whoo hoo, another shoo in if Jr. smashes a plate at the restaurant or stomps on little Katie's barbie doll. The kicker for me was the guy that was involved with the shooting at Virginia Tech. was labeled with Austim, Aspergers to be more specific, and a few people were talking about his "now knowing any better" because of it.

Or of the mom and the kid who were kicked off a plane because of his behavior mommy thought was "Oh So Adorable" when he proceeded to say "bye bye clouds, bye bye people, bye bye airport, bye bye other planes, bye bye trucks, bye bye runway, ..." And would not stop even when well into the flight. It bugged people, they complained, and they let them off at the next stop over. So now mommy said she was going to look into getting her kid tested for Autism and will sue the airline for discrimination.

It's hard to figure out who is being honest and who isn't. I tend to think the ones who are truly honest are the ones apologizing for Jr.'s behavior and taking the kid aside and telling them otherwise, "it not nice to hit Minnie - you made her cry. Now you go back give her a hug and kiss ..." I have seen it done and I applaud those parents.

[felinefan]

Talk about disgusting--does anyone here remember that really sad case of the boy who had a twin sister, when they did the circumcision they used an electric device with the power turned on too high, and the resulting disfigurement led a doctor to suggest maybe they should raise him as a girl. Then they were referred to a psychologist who believed gender was flexible, and he pushed the parents to make their son a daughter, and when he started getting into adolescence he was made to take female hormones. That kid had an uphill battle. Worst of all was he and sometimes his sister would have appointments with this quack, and he would actually force them to commit incest with each other. He would also molest them, the boy especially. Finally, the boy broke free, but the damage had been done. He got a new, more knowledgable psychiatrist, had a doctor restore what he'd lost, at least partially, and found a nice lady with kids from a former marriage. He could be a husband, but not a father, so he became a stepfather. But despite all this, that stupid quack couldn't be convicted, and to the day he died he refused to recant or otherwise admit he was wrong in his beliefs. Unfortunately, despite all the good that was finally coming his way, that young man committed suicide. You can imagine how the parents thought.

Another sicko was this woman who was caught for welfare fraud--she trained her son from the time he was small to act retarded so she could get special welfare benefits. Her son was in his teens when she was arrested and convicted a few years ago. I hope that boy has a better outcome.

[Widget]

Wow I never knew being and Aspie had benefits. I was never told when I was diagnosed that I would be able to do anything I wanted and get away with it.
Instead I just try to get through each day without majorly screwing up. Especially socially. I just don't get people. It's not an excuse either. Not that my boss gets that I don't do things just to piss him off. Well, not usually. ;)
One thing I will never understand is why people tend to start conversations this way (especially at work):
"Good morning." (or insert phrase of your choice)
"Morning. How are you?"
"Good. And you?"
"Good."
Once this ritual is done then the real conversation begins. Why bother with the how are you crap? Does either party actually care how the other is doing? Probably 99.9% of the time the answer is no since people don't tend to wait for the answer. They just expect you to say good or something similar. So I see no reason to play that game. Just tell me what you need to tell me and let me do my job. After all that is what I am paid to do. Not stand around and chit chat. At least that is what I was taught growing up. When on the clock you work. If you want to socialize do it on your own time.

[Sarah Magdalene]

Another sicko was this woman who was caught for welfare fraud--she trained her son from the time he was small to act retarded so she could get special welfare benefits. Her son was in his teens when she was arrested and convicted a few years ago. I hope that boy has a better outcome.

Now THAT is eligible for a one way ticket south via handbasket!

[DisneyMom]

Wow I never knew being and Aspie had benefits. I was never told when I was diagnosed that I would be able to do anything I wanted and get away with it.
Instead I just try to get through each day without majorly screwing up. Especially socially. I just don't get people. It's not an excuse either. Not that my boss gets that I don't do things just to piss him off. Well, not usually. ;)

THANK YOU WIDGET :)
In a couple of paragraphs, you have described things from the other side.

I dislike the sensationalism whenever someone who may have a form of autism commits a crime........once again, that translates into "Everyone who has/ says they have autism either is dangerous because they have it, or
lying and using it for an excuse"

Like I said, I don't personally know anyone who is lying about their child's diagnosis. I sincerely doubt that a large percentage are. As Syndrome said, any who are are doing a HUGE disservice to people who are really suffering.

[Mayonnaise]

Some ADHD diagnoses are bogus (since that's been brought up here now too), but some of us really have it, and it's not fun, and it's not an excuse and it's not a joke. There's a reason bipolar kids often get misdiagnosed as ADHD cases and visa versa. The mood lability is a pain in my ass. I don't go to parties or concerts because I know I'll just wind up overstimulated, with the exception of cast parties at my theater troupe, which follow a prescribed pattern so I know what to expect (they play certain songs and certain party games in a prescribed order.) I never drink at these parties, because the one time I did, I got overstimulated anyhow and wound up crying when someone tried to make me dance, and had to remove myself from the situation and miss the rest of the fun.

My mother still asks me when I'm going to "grow up and stop overreacting" when I cry over things she doesn't understand. My brother (you remember him, the financially irresponsible one) calls me a freak, and frequently opines to my family that he's their only hope for "normal grandchildren."

I frequently miss subtle social cues and wind up saying the absolute wrong thing, and now that I'm aware of that, it's translated into trouble talking to other people in tense or dire situations lest I offend them. It's why I tend to post very succinctly in sympathy threads. Something like "Condolances" or "*Hugs.*" I don't know what else to say, and I'm afraid of offending someone.

I get snarky remarks for using "big" words, because I have a hard time determining, beyond the obvious (many many letters) what constitutes a "big" word. I once had a co worker take me to task for "apt" as in "apt to happen" as that was a "big" word. I've mostly given up on even trying in that department. People usually figure out after a while that I'm not trying to be condescending and leave me alone about that, as long as I rephrase if they don't understand me without any fuss. Most of my Real Life friends understand anyway... I hang with alot of academics.

One of my favorite people is a Cognitive Science Professor who happens to have Aspergers. I never took his classes, he's also a Doctoral Student, and I met him student to student in the theater troupe. He's easy to talk to and fun to be around for me because what he says is what he means. Period. I wish more people were like that. I mean... sarcasm is funny too. I have no trouble with sarcasm, most of the time. Some people don't use a sarcastic tone when they're being sarcastic tho, which is a pain. I'm talking about people who just plain lie, and doublespeak, which a lot of the time is girls. Most girls are hard as all hell to understand.

That all being said, I'm not asking for any special treatment. It's MY responsibility to remove myself from situations when I'm overstimulated. It's MY responsibility to find ways of making sure I don't forget to pay my electric bill... or more often MY responsibility to pay the late fee when I finally remember to pay the electric bill. It's MY responsibility to deal with MY problem. The only one I ask for any special treatment from is my Significant Other, who sometimes has to deal with me when I'm coming home overstimulated and need to decompress, and all I ask of him is that he give me some time alone to do it.

Sorry that's long... just... yeah... things aren't always fake, and not everyone's asking for special treatment.

8^S

[DisneyMom]

Thank You to you, too, Mayonnaise :)
Again, it is good that people know that so many are quietly just doing their best everyday.

Hearing what your brother says makes me so angry! That kind of treatment within the family is outrageous, yet I have heard so many stories like that. Remember he is just doing that to get the focus off of his bad behavior.