I was chatting with one of our City Marshals today. Among other things, they handle court security. This particular marshal was working the metal detector at the court entrance, going through the "empty your pockets of all metal items and put them in this tray" routine with everyone.
One particularly fine specimen of idiotus criminalus walks up and starts emptying his pockets into the tray: keys, cell phone, baggie full of marijuana...
The marshal looks up at the guy, momentarily speechless -- and the guy reflexively says, "That's not mine."
[INDENT]Marshal: You just took this out of your pants pocket.
Idiot: ... These aren't my pants. [/INDENT]
Later, with the doofus in custody, he denies having any prior drug charges. The marshal runs his record and finds several possession convictions in another jurisdiction.
When confronted with these other convictions, Mr. Brainiac says, "Oh. Yeah. Those weren't mine, either." :D:
