Things to teach your child...

[Tinker Bell]

I apologize if I'm being rude and someone thinks I'm trespassing on parental rights but I'm annoyed with how parents behaved at the park and the lessons they teach their children. So here goes a list of things that parents teach their children while at the park.

1. When an area has a rope, ignore it. What only matters is what you want to do now what it says you should do. If it's long using as a swing or better yet hit it hard so you can hurt others with it. If an area is preventing you from crossing to the other side then, JUMP IT! NO! Don't go around it, that's a waste of time!

2. When you don't get things your way, scream, wail and bring up a storm. If you are in doubt, watch me when I do it. Whenever a cast member tells me that I can't do something, watch me scream, and use profanity to them. Watch how I call their supervisor to moan about him not letting me do what I want.

3. If you see a sign with exit on it, go in thru there. Who needs to wait in line?! If they stop you and point that that is the exit be rude about it. If you have no choice then leave, but if the cast member leaves go sneak in.

4. You pay $$$$ for being at the park, therefore you own it. Don't take no for an answer, people need to abide at your every wish and when they don't then ride up a stink. Characters especially, who cares that they are going to be back or that they have to go. You want to see them, go get them regardless of what the attendant tells you.

5. Speaking of characters. That stuff they have is hard so hit'em. Show them who's boss.

6. Boys can pee anywhere. So if nature calls, any bush is good for it. After all who needs bathrooms!

7. Since you are only a baby or are still little you can change anywhere. Really exposing your little bum in the middle of the park is ok. Who's looking anyway?! Peel it off while I scavenger thru my backpack to find your clothes. Show the world what you have!

8. Sneeze in top of other people. Share your germs with the world! Barney got it wrong!

Edit: How did I forget this one!
9. Do not wait in line. Really lines are so long why wait for that long. However if I want to do something then SUCK. IT. UP. Then you need to learn how to wait.

This past week I heard a kid moan to himself "why do we always wait for the stuff he wants to do but never for the ones I want to do". I kid you not it broke my heart.


I know there are many other lessons but right now I can't remember them. It's been one heck of a week. I swear I'm suddenly afraid of the fate of humanity; if these are the people that are shaping the minds of tomorrow.

[Cranbiz]

Next lesson:

The bars and supports on the bus are an extension of the playground. Hang, swing, step on them. When asked not to do this complain, scream and throw a tantrum. Remember the seats and guests in the way of your playset are there to provide you with additional motor skill training. Climb on anyone or anything in your way. Use the ECV thats on the bus to your advantage also, if you break it, it's not your responsibility.

[disneyaddict]

It's okay if you step on, push, bump into, hit, or otherwise injure people. Really, they shouldn't care. If they do care, they are extremely rude, and not worth an apology.

[mechurchlady]

Next Lesson:

Restaurants: This is not your home so feel free to use the premises as your personal playground. They pay people big bucks, see my admission ticket, so go ahead and throw food, litter the floor with food and drinks, smear the walls and furniture with your grubby hands, use 25 packets of sugar, take home the condiment bottles, and demand the best seat in the house.

It is ok to take with you napkins, glassware, silverware, menus, condiment bottles, sweetener packets and anything else with you. The waitress is stupid so ask one thing at a time. When she is done getting ketchup for your filet mignon then ask for more napkins but do not dare ask her to do two things at once. Tipping is based on how good the service is and the better the service the less you pay. SMoking is allowed in all areas of parks and people LOVE your stinky body that smells like an ash tray. People also love body odour so please do not bathe before coming to WDW. Dont remove them witch's hairs and let your ear and nose hair hang down in strands. Discuss the finer points of butt cracks and cow dung.

I have more but will let others add to this book.

[turkeyham]

Here's one, teach you kid why it is important to stand up while a roller coaster is in motion. If you fall out after being warned a few times, mom and dad will help you steal a souvenior out of a shop for being good.

[Ms. Matterhorn]

Talk really loud and cuss a lot in a restaurant so as to ruin the meal for everyone else.

[DisneyMom]

Don't forget when you're at the doctor's, you can go rifle through the confidential papers at the nurses' station, and wear your Heely's!
The Doctor's stool is fun to spin around on, if you hit the nurse as she's walking by, it's funny!
Take as many free stickers as you can from the nurses' station, after all, you had to wait for the Doctor and they OWE you! If the nurse asks you to stop doing any of the above, don't worry, your mom will tell her off! ;)

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Don't forget when you're at the doctor's, you can go rifle through the confidential papers at the nurses' station, and wear your Heely's!
The Doctor's stool is fun to spin around on, if you hit the nurse as she's walking by, it's funny!
Take as many free stickers as you can from the nurses' station, after all, you had to wait for the Doctor and they OWE you! If the nurse asks you to stop doing any of the above, don't worry, your mom will tell her off! ;)

You forgot to add: and don't worry, that shot you are getting couldn't have a bent needle!!!!

[DisneyMom]

You forgot to add: and don't worry, that shot you are getting couldn't have a bent needle!!!!

hehehehe, gotta get revenge somehow! :twisted:
(Just kidding) but sometimes I go mad at the parents who can't assist to hold their kid still for one....2 year old is already in charge!

[disneyaddict]

Next lesson:

Please, please, please, scream as loud as you possibly can. People love the ringing in their ears...it induces a lovely high that they love to experience. So, please, don't hold back. Use every breath in those little lungs. Then tkae a deep breath, and do it again.