Wierd News

[drcorey]

Local man sick of people bitching about everything
Published on 04/18/04

San Fransisco, CA - A local man was seen recently complaining about how people consistently and constantly bitch about everything.

"It's like, God, shut up already. Everybody has problems!," Dalton Downs was quoted as saying. Downs was also seen shaking his fist angrily at sky, as if to suggest that there were a divine reason for people to complain.

Dalton's live-in girlfriend was not shocked by Dalton's accusations. She told reporters, "That little SOB never shuts up about how much people whine. He seriously needs to get over it and move on with his life."

We spoke to Dalton's mother, who did not wish to have her real name revealed. Mrs. Downs said, "Even as a boy, my son would never quit whining about how much people bitch. It was a filthy thing for a 10-year old to say, but he insisted that such whining must be called 'bitching.'"

Dalton's dog was unavailable for comment.

Dalton Downs is currently an unemployed alcoholic who recently graduated from U.C.L.A. with a B.A. in Philosophy.

[EpcotFan]

Sounds like an article from "The Onion".

[hobie16]

Was it written by a USC grad?

[Zazu]

Hey gang,

Please remember that you need to give credit and cite your source when you post something on SGT from somewhere else. It also belongs in the "Newsroom", not in the Break Room.

If the OP will [report] their post, one of the admins will be happy to edit in the source for you.

Now go play nice.

Zazu, Admin.,
StupidGuestTricks.com

[mechurchlady]

http://www.azureware.com/?Humor:Local_m ... everything

Let a woman handle this. Please we do need to know the sources so we can see if it was a joke or real news. "Dalton Downs" leads you at google to a place but there is nothing out there to indicate that a real person named Dalton Downs exists let alone gripes.

[felinefan]

Yeah, I thought that name sounded fake.

[Main Streeter]

Was it written by a USC grad?

Could have been a Cal Grad hobie. We are not above this. :p:

Dalton's dog was unavailable for comment.

Dog was perhaps unavailable due to embarrassment. Dog probably is the most intelligent in family. ;)

[felinefan]

Yeah, a person who bitches about people bitching all the time is either the product of some hack's imagination, or from another planet. Or the occupant of a padded cell somewhere. I tend to favor the imaginary one.