Abusive parents

[WarriorPoets1]

This is one that has just stuck in my mind forever:

As a CM and as a Guest, the one thing I could never tolerate and yet could never do anything about was parents either ruining the magic for their kids or actually being downright abusive.

Cases in points:

Sitting behind Partners getting ready for fireworks. Parents sitting with kids and kids have probably had a long day at that one point and a young kid, say 6 or 7 , starts fussing. Not screaming, not talking loud, just wimpering. Could tell the poor kid was tired. Are the parents understanding? No, Mom tells Little One "Be quiet and behave or Mickey will throw us out."

Working as a CM in WOD, I see a little kid hanging onto a fixture on the ground near tears with Dear Old Dad towering over the kid asking "Why are you *censored* crying?" :mad:

To be honest, it's what I always HATED about being either a Guest or a CM: you just can't really do anything in those cases otherwise it is a HUGE can of worms.

Best piece of advice I can give parents: for the sake of your kids and your vacation: go back to the hotel and take a nap. You don't need to be there all day, the park is not going anywhere.

Remember whose dream it is: the kids should have a memory to last a lifetime, not what your vision of what it should be. Don't lose your temper if the train leaves the tracks.

Feel free to add in with stories or different POVs/

[felinefan]

The comment about the child being told to be quiet or face getting the family thrown out by Mickey reminds me of things that parents used to tell their kids:

"If you don't stop whining, I'll have that policeman over there take you to jail."

'Do you see that old man? Behave or he'll chase you with his cane."

"Stop that right now or I'll have the store manager throw you out."

"If you don't come along this minute, I'll leave you here."

Imagine what happens if a child needs the help of a police officer. Or if the child really is left behind accidentally. Nightmare stuff for a kid!

I agree--parents should try to see things from the child's perspective. They were kids once, too.

[GuestJockey]

You're right that it's too tricky to try to govern parenting, but there is CERTAINLY cause to stop the guest if they are cursing. I have gotten myself a reputation in my department for being the one that doesn't tolerate cursing in the parks, and will not take a moments pause before very loudly chiding someone for use of foul language. One time I walked by on a tour as I passed a teenage girl screaming at her friend about, of all things, where they were going to eat. "I don't want an effing hotdog! We effing had that poop yesterday!" (funny words to replace cursing, mine.) I stopped and very loudly, and in hindsight quite rudely, yelled "Excuse me! You are in Disneyland. You need to watch your language." She got a very shocked look on her face and apologized, and then everyone around us started cheering. It was great, since I realized afterwards that it had been bothering others around her but no one had had the nerve to say anything about it.

Had I been there with that dad, you can bet I would have politely reminded him that "This is a children's park, sir."

[Theme Park Where]

These are situations where sometimes as a cm or even a guest you can intervene subtly too. We got this a lot at Fantasmic! It's late. The parents are tired. The kids are tired. The benches at DHS Fant! are not exactly comfortable. You have to get there at least an hour early to get a good seat. That's an hour sitting on a hard uncomfortable bench with a tired kid and tired parents. On numerous ocassions I would be doing crowd control and would come across a kid wimpering and a parent beginning to lose it. Often it was a case of the child wanting some toy he'd just seen walk by with a vendor, or even just impatience that they're sitting so long. That's when the pin trading lanyard would come out. Or the "so, what rides have you done today?" directed right at the kid. Or, "are you waiting to see Mickey? I just talked to him backstage and he's really looking forward to having you see his show!" The kid is suddenly entertained. The parents have a few moments to collect their wits. And I usually got a sincere "thank you" from the parents when I walked away. Very rarely did I have a parent snap at me to go away because their kid was being punished. Even in those situations, I'd like to think that the distraction I caused was enough to give the parents time to cool off a bit and rethink their strategy.

[Princess Susi]

This is one that has just stuck in my mind forever:

As a CM and as a Guest, the one thing I could never tolerate and yet could never do anything about was parents either ruining the magic for their kids or actually being downright abusive.

Cases in points:

Sitting behind Partners getting ready for fireworks. Parents sitting with kids and kids have probably had a long day at that one point and a young kid, say 6 or 7 , starts fussing. Not screaming, not talking loud, just wimpering. Could tell the poor kid was tired. Are the parents understanding? No, Mom tells Little One "Be quiet and behave or Mickey will throw us out."

Working as a CM in WOD, I see a little kid hanging onto a fixture on the ground near tears with Dear Old Dad towering over the kid asking "Why are you *censored* crying?" :mad:

To be honest, it's what I always HATED about being either a Guest or a CM: you just can't really do anything in those cases otherwise it is a HUGE can of worms.

Best piece of advice I can give parents: for the sake of your kids and your vacation: go back to the hotel and take a nap. You don't need to be there all day, the park is not going anywhere.

Remember whose dream it is: the kids should have a memory to last a lifetime, not what your vision of what it should be. Don't lose your temper if the train leaves the tracks.

Feel free to add in with stories or different POVs/

These are clear cases of abusive behavior to the child and should be reported DIRECTLY to a security CM or the police. They can and sometimes will intervene.

I have seen a dad DRAGGING his son who was definitely not walking with two feet on the floor, the dad had him by the arm and was literally dragging the kid whose legs were coming last behind the dad and the kids torso. He was probably 6-8 yrs old, (I am not that great at guessing ages, but then age really does not matter anyway) into Soarin and the kid was crying very hard and saying between sobs "I don't want to go, I'm scared daddy! Please don't make me go on it..PLEASE!!!! Please don't make me go!?????" Dad was saying "YOU are a baby! You are going on this ride because we ALL are going on this ride and you are not going to wreck it for everyone else! Now stop crying and come on!" as he tugged and dragged the kid on the ride. :( I felt so bad for that little boy, but did not know what to do that would not get me punched in the mouth or have some filthy language flung in my face. These kids should NOT be forced to ride anything that scares them. :(

Hell, I won't ride Tower of Terror, Indy, Space, well just about any rollercoaster or drop ride, I even have trepidations about the roller coaster in Toontown. I am just scared of thrill rides. I have way too much adrenaline flowing through me from my panic and fear disorder that I could not make it without fainting or having chest pains. Not to mention the pain and my bad back and more recently my knees have started up with the stiffness and pain. I can't win. So I stay off them. I am so sad when I really cannot help the kidlets who are TERRIFIED, other than tell the parent their kid could sit with me while they go on it. I don't know how many parents would trust me, a stranger with their kid, but I could promise that kid would have a great time with me while we were waiting for their parent. I would never take kid somewhere else, we would stay in the vicinty of the exit of the ride and I could just let them talk to me and ask questions of them about why they are scared and other things. We could talk about the fireworks and the Parades and they would have fun, the family could enjoy the ride and they would all be reunited at the end. I know that most parents are NOT going to leave their child with a stranger, and I totally understand that, but to force them into something...here is clear case where the family doing a child swap would work....

I have also seen a toddler @ 2 yrs old sitting on the floor in Emporium and howling and crying while the parents shopped . This was at closing time at DL! What is wrong with these people? I have seen babies sleeping on their parents shoulders at closing time on a bus going to a resort from the Magic Kingdom. I hear kids in the hotel room directly above ours at the Contemporary or the DL hotel jumping up and down on the floor and running back and forth at 1 AM! I have seen kids up and running around the DL hotels grounds at 12 midnight with NO parents with them. I cannot for the life of me understand why people do this to their kids. :mad: :(
To be continued...the site only allows 5000 characters per post and I am very chatty...heeheehee

Princess Susi

[Princess Susi]

To Continue...

Do they expect the CMs to keep track of their kids and babysit. Most likely, the answer to that is YES! Well, there is a babysitting service at each of the Resorts and Hotels, PAY AND USE IT! I am sick of not being able to sleep because the rugrats want to play *let's knock on EVERY door as we go by in the hallway* when they return to the hotel at Park's closing and the parents don't do anything about it. Some even laugh at their kids antics! :twisted:

We have complained and it has helped...sometimes. The nastiest is the idiots who smoke in the non-smoking rooms out on their deck at the Contemporary or DLH when we are watching the fireworks from ours and we have to go back in and shut the doors. It is nauseating to smell. We had that happen this last trip at the DL Hotel and someone just below us somewhere was hanging out of their sliding door dragging on a grit and spewing the smoke upwards to us. Our door shut pretty quickly and we told Concierge services and they called Housekeeping to have the Maid check which room smelled of smoke. I don't know what happened, but at least we tried to have something done. We got so many apologies and we know all the DLH Concierge Lounge staff so well now that we knew they could try, but maybe not succeed.

I feel bad cause Ralph does like some of the thrill rides and I am always telling him to go ride and I will wait and read a book or people watch while he goes on the attraction. he doesn't. He says he is really not missing out, cause he would rather be with me....Let's hear a BIG AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

I hate to see the kids crying and obviously hungry or tired or overwhelmed by the sights and sounds. There was a study done that determined that small children's brains would be overwhemed with sensory overload with too much sound (Disney music EVERYWHERE!), sights and color! Their brains have not developed far enough to compute all that information as quickly as adults and it can truly overwhelm them to the point of confusion and irritability and bad behaviors. Just look around at a Park, the colors, the people, the constant movement, the rides etc...etc... and not enough rest and away time from that. They are off their usual schedules they have at home and that disorients them even more. Some people push their children, I love to hate the expression I hear a lot, "We paid X amount to be here and you ARE going to have fun, whether you like it or not? HUH? That makes no sense anyway whether or not it is a bad excuse.

Usually with the very small toddlers and babies the fault lies in the parent NOT taking them back for a nap or eating on time or just plain overdoing it. Sometimes the little bit older kids can be a PITA and they need a good kick in the pants or at the very least a good talking to. So I am usually not upset with crying babies, UNLESS the mother does NOTHING to remedy it and I blame much of the kidlets behavior on the parents. I have NEVER had children, but I still can see and hear what is really happening in a situation where the parents are PUSHING their kids to over their limit. Shame on them! :mad:

Princess Susi...Worship me...Adore me! I am a Princess...really I am! :p:

[Shorty82]

Another thing people should make use of are the rider swaps that allow one parent to wait in line and ride while the other watches the kids then the other parent can go ride with minimal wait after the first one gets off.

[Mayonnaise]

The comment about the child being told to be quiet or face getting the family thrown out by Mickey reminds me of things that parents used to tell their kids:

. . .

"If you don't come along this minute, I'll leave you here."

Lets not forget the perennial favorite:

"Stop crying or else give you a REAL reason to cry."

8^S

[Syndrome]

"If you don't come along this minute, I'll leave you here."

The ironic thing about this one is that my mother would actually DO it...not just threaten, but actually leave. She did it once at K-Mart when I was maybe 5 or 6 years old. Some nice people found me in the parking lot and eventually she came back and they returned me to her. I'm sure they thought I was just a little kid babbling when I said she left me and that I was simply lost, but she liked to leave and let me freak out, then return (and blame it on me for getting lost if anyone questioned). It's funny...most kids would be frantic to find their Mom at that age, but I remember thinking, "I wish I could go home with these nice people instead."

My lovely childhood makes me especially sensitive to people who torture their kids with mind games. Sometimes my tongue is nearly bloody from being bitten at WDW, especially at night when the poor kids are exhausted and the parents are in "I paid $XXX for this trip so you'd better shut up and enjoy it even tho' it's midnight" mode.

[EeyoresButterfly]

I hope the Soarin CMs did not allow the child on in that situation. If a kid is freaking out we are not supposed to let them ride due to safety concerns.