How to take a shower
-
- Practically Lives Here
- Posts: 1402
- Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2006 12:00 pm
- Location: In my imagination
How to take a shower
Found this on another site and thot y'all would appreciate the humor
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair
in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up
any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the
size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in yo u r hands and let the water rinse
them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck
on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass
wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair
in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up
any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the
size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in yo u r hands and let the water rinse
them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck
on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass
wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
- hobie16
- Permanent Fixture
- Posts: 10546
- Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2004 4:45 pm
- Park: DLR
- Department: Fruity Drink Land
- Position: Mai Tai Face Plant
- Location: 717 Miles NNW Of DLR
Re: How to take a shower
I like the reverb.vixen101485 wrote:Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.


Don't be fooled by appearances. In Hawaii, some of the most powerful people look like bums and stuntmen.
--- Matt King
Stay low and run in a zigzag pattern.
-
- Practically Lives Here
- Posts: 1402
- Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2006 12:00 pm
- Location: In my imagination
Re: How to take a shower
I am not as loofahy, scruby, fancy shampooey but that is me, and the man one describes Donnie to a T (well minus the wiener waggle whoo hooing)
-
- Regular Guest
- Posts: 380
- Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 4:57 pm
- Location: Sacramento Ca
- Contact:
Re: How to take a shower
Wonder how much the grant was to study the showering habits of humans? Its right on the mark though.
Steve
Steve
-
- Practically Lives Here
- Posts: 2317
- Joined: Mon Dec 11, 2006 2:00 pm
Re: How to take a shower
A friend of mine just sent this very same thing to me via email a couple days ago. Pretty funny!
sues
sues
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Hugging a Beluga is swell!
- ktulu
- Permanent Fixture
- Posts: 4150
- Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:01 pm
- Park: ktululand
- Department: Custodial
- Position: Janitor
- Location: Texas
- Contact:
Re: How to take a shower
I've seen it a few times. I'm surprised I'm not getting the Microsoft will give you a million dollars and Disney will send you to WDW for free emails.susislicker wrote:A friend of mine just sent this very same thing to me via email a couple days ago. Pretty funny!
sues
"People can drink coke and pepsi, but they can't pee in the street."
812114
812114
-
- Should be on Payroll
- Posts: 3419
- Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2006 3:00 pm
- Location: 80 year old shack
Re: How to take a shower
LOL :D: That is funny...
Partial Guest List for Minnie and Friends Character Breakfast Disneyland Plaza Inn :minnie: :eeyore: :hook: :pooh: :tigger: :fairymom:
I am at Rancho Del Zocalo. OLE~!
Go Wombat and VM!
Notatourist will never be forgotten...
I am at Rancho Del Zocalo. OLE~!
Go Wombat and VM!
Notatourist will never be forgotten...