Jack Handey Moments

[Syndrome]

Yeah, I know there are lots of SG moments and comments, but have you ever heard a Jack Handey moment at WDW or its related entities? You know, on the order of Jack's classic:

"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late."

I heard a great one on our cruise this week. Mom is waiting in line with her kid to get a photo with Jack Sparrow.

Kid: Mom, I want to swim!
Mom: You are going to swim with the kids club (blatant falsehood...they do some water activities but no actual swimming, I imagine because of the potential liability).
Kid: But I want to swim NOW! The beach is right there! (points to family beach just beyond).
Mom: You can't. That's the adult beach. (another blatant falsehood, made pretty obvious by all the families swimming there and setting up camp).
Kid: It is not!!
Mom: Yes, it is. You'll get in big trouble if you swim there. But I promise you're going to swim in the kids club. It's so much fun. They take you right out into the ocean!

Poor kid...I'll bet mom hightailed it to Serenity Bay and buried her pager in the sand the moment she got there. The sad thing is, if I sailed with kids, I could easily imagine myself pulling the same BS with them.

[BRWombat]

Yeah, I know there are lots of SG moments and comments, but have you ever heard a Jack Handey moment at WDW or its related entities? You know, on the order of Jack's classic:

"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late."

I heard a great one on our cruise this week. Mom is waiting in line with her kid to get a photo with Jack Sparrow.

Kid: Mom, I want to swim!
Mom: You are going to swim with the kids club (blatant falsehood...they do some water activities but no actual swimming, I imagine because of the potential liability).
Kid: But I want to swim NOW! The beach is right there! (points to family beach just beyond).
Mom: You can't. That's the adult beach. (another blatant falsehood, made pretty obvious by all the families swimming there and setting up camp).
Kid: It is not!!
Mom: Yes, it is. You'll get in big trouble if you swim there. But I promise you're going to swim in the kids club. It's so much fun. They take you right out into the ocean!

Poor kid...I'll bet mom hightailed it to Serenity Bay and buried her pager in the sand the moment she got there. The sad thing is, if I sailed with kids, I could easily imagine myself pulling the same BS with them.

Wow. I'm kind of surprised Mom bothered to shell out for a Disney cruise at all. Imagine the conversation:[indent]Kid: Mom, I want to go on a Disney cruise!
Mom: This is a Disney cruise. This rowboat takes us to the ship. I mean, is the ship.
Kid: No, the real big Disney ship. The one with Mickey Mouse!
Mom: What do you mean? There's Mickey right there!
Kid: That's Dad wearing mouse ears.
Mom: No, no, no. That's Mickey. And we're cruising to the Bahamas!
Kid: Mom, I can still see our house.[/indent]

[Big Wallaby]

Poor kid...I'll bet mom hightailed it to Serenity Bay and buried her pager in the sand the moment she got there. The sad thing is, if I sailed with kids, I could easily imagine myself pulling the same BS with them.

Syndrome, sounds like you're gonna still have a job when this kid grows up.

[Syndrome]

That's what I say to Mr. Syndrome about a dozen times on each visit to WDW or the cruise:

"Look, honey, a future client!"

Hmmm, I'm envisioning custom t-shirt: "Keep abusing those kids. It's good for my job security."

[Big Wallaby]

Hmmm, I'm envisioning custom t-shirt: "Keep abusing those kids. It's good for my job security."

That, or

You're a great parent.
For my future employment, anyway.

[BRWombat]

How about

I thank you
and my retirement fund
thanks you!

[Big Wallaby]

Yell at them today,
Send them my way tomorrow!