Funny Monorail Driver?

[hobie16]

It's actually not the jokes on the JC itself, but things they announce over the loudspeaker in the waiting area. I'm not sure how to explain it..can someone help me out?

Is it like the loudspeaker in MASH the movie?

[Randy B]

I was on the monorail yesterday afternoon heading from Epcot to the TTC, and we had to slow down/stop twice. Each time a young sounding male monorail driver came on and told us we were slowing down for traffic, etc. But he also added his own spin and was very funny. Ending the spiel with something like 'this has been a recording'

The funniest thing I heard from a mono pilot wasn't on the PA. MANY years ago I used to bring a scanner with me to WDW and had found the freqencies used by monorails ops (before trunked radios). One night I was listening when a train died on the way into the contemp. They brought out the diesel tractor and managed to push it into the Contemp but coudn't get the doors to open. So they decided to haul the entire train (still full of guests) to the mono shops where they had the tools to get the doors open. The Shops asked the pilot if the guests were upset. His responce was that they were having a party back there. And were thrilled with the idea of getting a tour of a facility that NOBODY in the general public is ever allowed to tour. He mentioned that from conversing with the guests he (the pilot) was wishing he could go back there and join the party. They were having that much fun.

All this was being said over the open radio channel. I listened to the entire thing and was SO envious of those lucky guests. :D:

Randy

[DLRFantasmic!Dan]

I heard some funny spiels from monorail drivers. One of them had to be that he was "lost" and should of taken a left turn, hahaha!!

Another one would ask questions and following would be the be the same wording in the recording speil. Like for example, on the PA he would say, "Look, what's on the right side of the train?" and then the recording would go, "Look, on the right side of the train is the............." LOL!!! I found that to be hilarious!! And then another one would be "What land are we in?" and the announcement would say, "We are now entering Tommorrowland!!" :D

[leftcoaster]

I have never worked at JC so I can't tell you 100% for sure but I was under the impression that making jokes is part of the gig there. Like its a requirement to make those silly jokes, I say that because management at KSR is always reminding us that we are not JC and therefore no allowed to make any jokes...a warning completely disregarded by just about ever single driver.

I've noticed that! :hysteria: And I love it! :)

We had one driver who said (while waiting for traffic to clear as we left the load area), "Everyone knows that if we get stuck, everyone has to get out and push, right?"

[hhsrat]

I was in line at WDW Jungle once with a few other (at the time) Safari Drivers. The JC greeter, who was a former safari driver disappeared for a few minutes and used the queue PA system to spiel the following. "Attention all Jungle Cruise Skippers. We have just received a message from Warden Wilson Matua in Harambe, East Africa. It reads 'ha ha, very funny, now give us our laundry back' "

[Floridian]

I swear sometimes I wish I was at JC, if I said something like that over the PA at KSR I would be so screwed...I don't even know our PA announcement by heart since its written inside the phone box but its something lame along the lines of 'when you return home we challenge you to help protect wild creatures and wild places, not please fill in available space in front of you". We are supposed to be serious and educational. A few times I have used the, 'if we get stuck in this mud who is going to help push?' line. Lately I have just been sticking with a lot of usual 2 week safari jokes but they surprisingly get a lot of laughs if you say them seriously enough.

[Big Wallaby]

I swear sometimes I wish I was at JC, if I said something like that over the PA at KSR I would be so screwed...I don't even know our PA announcement by heart since its written inside the phone box but its something lame along the lines of 'when you return home we challenge you to help protect wild creatures and wild places, not please fill in available space in front of you". We are supposed to be serious and educational. A few times I have used the, 'if we get stuck in this mud who is going to help push?' line. Lately I have just been sticking with a lot of usual 2 week safari jokes but they surprisingly get a lot of laughs if you say them seriously enough.

I have yet another new schtick on the bus, where when I get on and break another driver, I don't smile for about the first five minutes of interaction. Finally, after a few moments, someone realizes it's over the top and starts laughing at me, and that sets the stage for everyone else to enjoy the show. The best part is when I come around looking for tickets as the surly bus driver/conductor...

[hhsrat]

I don't even know our PA announcement by heart since its written inside the phone box but its something lame along the lines of 'when you return home we challenge you to help protect wild creatures and wild places, not please fill in available space in front of you".

"Jambo and welcome to Kilimanjaro Safaris. Your expert safari guide will be taking you on a two week adventure through Africa's magnificent bush country. If you are traveling light, or on a light stomach, may we suggest the many merchants located in the village of Harambe. Kilimanjaro Safaris would like to challenge you on your return to help preserve wildlife and wild places in your own home town. Again, thanks for touring with Kilimanjaro Safaris. When it comes to safaris, we go wild"

(I may have missed a sentence in there, but overall, not bad, considering that I haven't worked at KSR other than a sporadic EHH shift in over a year)

[Big Wallaby]

Hopefully, soon, I will be learning all that spiel. I'm really, really hoping.

Worst case, I'll be joining KSR in January or so.

[Cranbiz]

I have come up with a new start to my speil, at least at night. Borrowing BW's maniacal laugh too!

Has to do with how displeased the 999 happy haunts are after the renovations at the mansion and aren't going back.

It's been getting many many laughs.