OK,It's that time again!

[DisneyMom]

The drama isn't limited to kids with Aspy. And the drama isn't limited to dealing with opposite sex issues. Our little darling cost me about $2000 last year to resolve a issue that normal kids would have grown out of.

Paraphrasing O&S, "He's just a [boy] who [won't] hear, 'No'''

Normal guys are bad enough but he can smother you just hugging you, can't imagine what it's going to happen when he experiences the good stuff. My other sons were bad enough (non-Aspy).

I think Lurch said it best, "Urrrrrrrrrr"

Is it just my imagination,or are ALL kids on a different time line than we were?
Even my Neurotypical one seems very reticent to learn how to drive,stays home and plays WOW, and other than his part-time job,is overly content. I've talked exhaustively to him but fear he will live here 'til he's 40. :mad:
Thank God he's so far afraid of girls
Wait a second, why am I thinking of Norman Bates?!?!

Hoping for peace in your homes Hobie and WWWD :) and that time and patience will improve things for all of us.

[hobie16]

Three years ago we decided Michael needed to be put into a independent living situation, so we bought condo just off the main drag in Lahaina for him to live in. Overall its worked pretty good. My wife goes in once a week to check on him. She'll make sure he's keeping the place clean, taking his meds, stuff like that.

Rather than go over the laundry list of the problems he was born with let's just say he's developmentally disabled and will never be more than twelve years old mentally. This has led to some problems we couldn't have foreseen.

He was collecting some SSI. SS eventually wanted to see pay stubs monthly so they could determine his benefits. My wife went in to pick them up and discovered his wages had been garnished. It turned out he had been sent two bills for medical visits. As he had no idea what a bill was, he threw them away. When he was served by a sheriff's deputy to appear in court, he threw that away. Once we figured out what happened we called the shyster lawyer that had sued him. It was all bluster until my wife told the a-hole that Michael was disabled. All of a sudden it's nicey nicey and hoping we won't take him to court and make him look stupid in front of the judge.

We pay his phone bill and it's always $25 a month. Imagine my surprise when I get a bill for over $300. Turns out our hero was watching lat night TV and discovered chat lines. And, of course, he lied about it. My wife sat him down and told him if you're thinking about doing something and you need to lie to us about it, then it might not be something you really want to do.

The $2000 hit was caused by him going smart ass teenager and deciding he didn't need to perform a simple procedure twice a week. A replumbing of his lower digestive system grew over and closed up meaning a trip to Stanford Hospital to determine if his harvested appendix had died or he was stupid. Stupid won.

After this total waste of time and money we made it very clear to him that he was obviously an adult and could take care of himself so one more screw up and and he could move out of the condo and make his own way in life.

And to top all of this off, a bank teller tried to rip him off for $90 out of $100 back. Good thing my wife was with him.

Anyway, enough of my stories. Dealing with fully functioning kids is bad enough. I know, I've got two daughters. Special needs kids add a whole other level of complexity.

DM, it's time to booter the kid into the real world. Can you get services that will teach him how to live independently? It's tough to get them. It's taken five years but we finally got Michael into a program. I think what finally got us there was me writing a really shitty letter to the local papers demanding to know what the hell our non responding state legislators really did to earn their money. Apparently, it was making lots of phone calls to us after the letters were published.

Good luck guys. I'm always here to share stories and maybe some advice.

[DisneyMom]

Hobie,sorry to hear about all the roadblocks!
What you're going thru seems very much what mine would....BOTH of them.I was discussing my younger one (who is afraid of girls) without Autism above.
Older one with Autism is not afraid of girls,unfortunately.

I agree that NOW is the time to teach some independent skills,rather than wait for whenever I die,and before California Budget Cuts eliminate most help
for our Disabled young adults.

Although having a youngster who is disabled is tough,there seems to be a lot more support now for them. Not so much when they are grown. Parenting never ends for us......

[hobie16]

Your younger one sounds like a smart kid. Be afraid, be very afraid. :D:

Independent living should be a course in school. It's amazing how even normal kids screw up so badly and there's plenty of opportunities to do so. My wife and I were discussing the little Husker's finances when she goes off to school. One thing we'll do is set up a prepaid credit card so she doesn't get nailed with interest charges.

[Mayonnaise]

DM may be on to something about the NT kids.

My parents thought I (with my non-Autistic Neurovariance) was going to be the sort of kid they were gonna have to babysit to make sure I paid my bills and went to work, and did my laundry...

Lo and behold, that's not me at all, that's my Neurotypical brother.

8^P

[DisneyMom]

DM may be on to something about the NT kids.

My parents thought I (with my non-Autistic Neurovariance) was going to be the sort of kid they were gonna have to babysit to make sure I paid my bills and went to work, and did my laundry...

Lo and behold, that's not me at all, that's my Neurotypical brother.

8^P

Be afraid, be very afraid. :D:
.

I am!
I sure hope both kids surprise me. Ironically,a friend I just found again after 25 years made it-and pretty successfully-despite my fears. I guess we all change eventually...... ;)

[hobie16]

My kids continue to surprise me. The two older ones are my step kids so I can't take any credit for their genes but their butt puppet father will always find a way to take a shot when something goes wrong. He's now scared of me so the only way he communicates with my wife is calls to her cell phone or Facebook. Gutless punk.

We sent the oldest off to college (the gutless butt puppet refused to cough up a dime towards her education) where things were going pretty well until she decided to drop out two thirds of the way through her senior year. She got lost for a few years but finally got her act together and will graduate this year. She's signed up for some kinda master's program. I just hope it'll get her a job when she's done.

Michael, the middle kid, has done a lot better than anyone, including most of his doctors, thought. He's held two jobs that he did good in and takes pretty good care of himself. He'll always need someone to check up on him and handle his money but with the state finally on board, we can finally hand off some of the responsibilities.

The Lil' Husker is still an unknown. She loves the thought of becoming a vet and wants to specialize in large animals. I hope that translates into keeping her head down and hitting the books hard. I'll have the talk about life with her just before she leaves. She'll probably write it off to the ramblings of an old gas passer but hopefully she remembers some of it.

And speaking of rambling, it's time to stop and go to the beach for the sunset.

[DisneyMom]

Totally Gorgeous!!!! :)

[WWWD]

The picture of the sunset wasn't bad either.

[hobie16]

Totally Gorgeous!!!! :)

That was from a few weeks ago. When we got to the beach there was a crowd gathered on the sand. Thinking it was either another 50 something male tourist who drowned or a critter washed up, we walked over to take a look. It was a monk seal that had hauled out to work on his tan.

As the sun set, the seal slid back into the water to go wherever seals go to sleep.