Don't Sneeze!

[Darksin]

Last fall my husband and I went on our typical Orlando vacation, four days at Disney and four more at Universal.
This story begins at Magic Kingdom, just before the typical night parade. We're where waiting to cross from the Adventureland side over towards Tomorrowland, just chatting between ourselves and minding our own business. There is a couple in front of us with a whiny child, which I'm paying no attention to what so ever until it happens.
Oh My God! THE STINK!
The woman must have bathed in perfume during her last bathroom break because when the wind shifted even my husband go that "Oh god" look on his face. I couldn't help it, I whipped both hands up and sneezed several times from the smell floating back towards us. Then as normal said "excuse me" and reached into my bag for a tissue and sanitizer.

You would have thought I just shot their child the way this man flipped the hell out at me, right in front of Security and several CM's.

"YOU SNEEZED ON ME! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SNEEZED ON ME! YOU MUST HAVE SWINE FLU! SHE HAS SWINE FLU AND SHE SNEEZED ON ME!"
............
*Blink*
............

Before I could get any words out of my mouth Security is already present and steps over as well as a one of the CM's present.Mr. Douche keeps ranting to the extent of 'Swine flu, kick your ass for that you stupid bitch, your gonna kill my kid/wife/me, blahblahblah'.
Myself and the CM are obviously trying not to laugh at this absurdity, my husband is ready to kill him for making threats and Security is getting pissed.

So Security tells him to knock it off or he'll be removed from the park for threatening the safety of another guest. To which he rants something about sneezing being somekind of capitol offense punishable by death. I can't help it,I'm opening laughing and trying hard not to wet myself because I could not believe this asshole. The CM is biting their tongue and looking at anything BUT this guy and my poor Husband still wants to shred his face.

A few minutes later Security manages to make a point to the guy and he shut up but keeps muttering under his breath. Now I couldn't hear him clearly as I'm still taking huge gasping breaths and thanking the CM and Security for being there.

We cross the street, we went back to walking and chatting with the occasional giggle at Mr. Douche completely loosing sight of him and thinking nothing of it. As we travel the whole way into Tomorrowland behind us we keep hearing "She SNEEZED on ME!" and "Swine FLU!" yelled at Mr. Douches Wife/Kid. We ignored him, SG's aren't worth my time even if telling them off would give me pleasure and him ejected from the park. Oh well, that was the last we heard or saw of Mr. Douche-who-hates-sneezes.

[Freak]

Imagine if someone rips a big ol' fart next to him. Who knows what he'd do.

[Darksin]

Oh hell, I'd have paid money to watch that reaction!

[WEDFan]

Could have always filed a counter claim... "She poisoned me. I was minding my own business and was hit by an odor. Then I had a violent reaction. SHE POISONED ME!!"
:twisted:

[hobie16]

Oh My God! THE STINK!
The woman must have bathed in perfume during her last bathroom break because when the wind shifted even my husband go that "Oh god" look on his face.

Imagine if someone rips a big ol' fart next to him. Who knows what he'd do.

Mix the two together and watch the reactions. :twisted:

[WWWD]

Mix the two together and watch the reactions. :twisted:

The product sounds so ... French! I had this greasy boss who only bathed in the Spring, I swear, just kept "layering" the cologne - he said, "This is what they do back home."

[hobie16]

My first experience with the French "essence" was a Sunday morning on the Champs-Élysées. I was walking with a co-worker and we stopped to look in a window. We were suddenly surrounded by a fog bank of what we later agreed was worse that sewer gas.

We were looking at each thinking, "Dude, something died and crawled up your butt!"

After determining that neither of us had cut the really bad cheese we determined it must be a woman up wind, about ten feet away. She was stylishly dressed in a leather outfit and looked pretty good. I bit the bullet and stepped closer to determine if she was the source of the nose hair shedding smell. Bad move. I was enveloped in a green haze that started to burn my skin.

We beat a hasty retreat and decided the only was to cleanse ourselves was a Egg-a-Muffin at McDonald's. It was there we determined that she either hadn't seen a bar of soap in over a year or the leather outfit had only been dead for a week.

[disneywoz]

This thread reminded me of when I went to college. You could always tell the way the wind was blowing by the smells. From the North was the smell of Ambrosia Chocolate (the same one Jeffrey Dahmer was working at and yes it was at that time and he only lived two blocks from our dorm). From the West was the smell of Hops and other ingrediants from the Miller Brewery. From the East was Lake Michigan. Finally from the South was the rancid smell of the Tannery.

[DisneyMom]

This thread reminded me of when I went to college. You could always tell the way the wind was blowing by the smells. From the North was the smell of Ambrosia Chocolate (the same one Jeffrey Dahmer was working at and yes it was at that time and he only lived two blocks from our dorm). From the West was the smell of Hops and other ingrediants from the Miller Brewery. From the East was Lake Michigan. Finally from the South was the rancid smell of the Tannery.

Ewwwww,I saw what goes on at a Tannery on the "Dirty Jobs" Show
or it could have been Dahmer......

[joanna71985]

Awesome story! I wish I could have been there to see that