True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

[Cheshire Figment]

Are you tired of those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card--just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask?; “Because you are my friend”.

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to “all 10” of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me...I don't want to hear it!!!) And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me.

[BRWombat]

I love it!!! (Although I'm pretty sure Hallmark won't be beating a path to your door looking to hire you! )

[Syndrome]

Shoebox, maybe....

I can picture that as a Maxine card.

[mechurchlady]

Definitely a Shoebox Maxine card. That is how I feel. Great find, thanks for the laughs.

[darph nader]

#6 is all wrong
"When you are confused,I'll use BIGGER words to 'totally' confuse you". :twisted:
Now a 'true' best friend,will steal yuor girlfriend,but 'won't' take your last cigarette.

[leftcoaster]

#6 is all wrong
"When you are confused,I'll use BIGGER words to 'totally' confuse you". :twisted:
Now a 'true' best friend,will steal yuor girlfriend,but 'won't' take your last cigarette.

Or your last beer. Right Darph?

[Purpura]

A friend will help you get rid of the bodies. A true friend will help you hide the bodies and not ask questions.

[Cranbiz]

Or your last beer. Right Darph?

Left, you beat me to it. :D:

[darph nader]

Or your last beer. Right Darph?

A friend would'nt,but my son would. :mad: (little shit)

[mechurchlady]

A friend would'nt,but my son would. :mad: (little shit)

Takes after his dad?