This Is A Manager
- hobie16
- Permanent Fixture
- Posts: 10546
- Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2004 4:45 pm
- Park: DLR
- Department: Fruity Drink Land
- Position: Mai Tai Face Plant
- Location: 717 Miles NNW Of DLR
This Is A Manager
Me: “Sir, would you like to use any coupons today?”
Customer: “Yes, I’ve been saving them. Here you go!”
(He hands me a coupon that had expired five years previously.)
Me: “Sir, your coupon is expired.”
Customer: “WHAT?! What do you mean its expired? You f***ing b****, you’re just trying to steal my f***ing money! You’re trying to rob me! You and this f***ing company are trying to steal my f***ing money!”
(The customer attempts to climb over the counter and attack me. Thankfully, my manager intercepts him.)
Manager: “Sir, I need you to come with me.”
(My manager hauls the customer off counter by the back of his collar and drags him outside. Ten minutes pass, and he comes back in hauling a very disheveled customer by the shirt.)
Customer: “Your manager told me that I need to apologize to you. I’m sorry for yelling.”
Manager: “Now, apologize for cursing at her.”
Customer: “I’m sorry for cursing at you.”
Manager: “Now, what’s our policy on expired coupons?”
Customer: “You don’t accept them.”
Manager, to me: “Is he forgiven, or would you like to have him arrested?”
Me: “No, its okay. ”
Manager, to customer: “Now get out, and don’t come back.” *throws customer out*
Customer: “Yes, I’ve been saving them. Here you go!”
(He hands me a coupon that had expired five years previously.)
Me: “Sir, your coupon is expired.”
Customer: “WHAT?! What do you mean its expired? You f***ing b****, you’re just trying to steal my f***ing money! You’re trying to rob me! You and this f***ing company are trying to steal my f***ing money!”
(The customer attempts to climb over the counter and attack me. Thankfully, my manager intercepts him.)
Manager: “Sir, I need you to come with me.”
(My manager hauls the customer off counter by the back of his collar and drags him outside. Ten minutes pass, and he comes back in hauling a very disheveled customer by the shirt.)
Customer: “Your manager told me that I need to apologize to you. I’m sorry for yelling.”
Manager: “Now, apologize for cursing at her.”
Customer: “I’m sorry for cursing at you.”
Manager: “Now, what’s our policy on expired coupons?”
Customer: “You don’t accept them.”
Manager, to me: “Is he forgiven, or would you like to have him arrested?”
Me: “No, its okay. ”
Manager, to customer: “Now get out, and don’t come back.” *throws customer out*

Don't be fooled by appearances. In Hawaii, some of the most powerful people look like bums and stuntmen.
--- Matt King
Stay low and run in a zigzag pattern.
Re: This Is A Manager
Nice! Wow... I seriously almost feel like crying.
I hope I can be that good a manager some day!
"How much are the mugs? Well the 13 large signs at eye level all say the mugs are $12.99.. so I'm gonna go with that."
-
- Permanent Fixture
- Posts: 8780
- Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 11:23 am
- Location: Insane Diego
Re: This Is A Manager
..now a GREAT manager would have allowed the person behind the counter to zap the SG in the balls with a taser. 

:pirateflaARRRRRRR YA DOIN'?
-
- Practically Lives Here
- Posts: 1423
- Joined: Fri Jan 31, 2003 2:00 pm
- Location: Huntington Beach, CA
- Contact:
Re: This Is A Manager
Something you need to tell us?hobie16 wrote: Manager: “Now, apologize for cursing at her.”
"A little swordplay, now and then, keeps my mind off sheep!"
"You're messing with my Zen thing, man."
"Dreams are as portals,
flat visions of misty places,
fragments bound below my surface,
but I can write dreams,
they flow from me,
inscribed but now unbound,
I touch them,
and they are real,
and they are real."
"You're messing with my Zen thing, man."
"Dreams are as portals,
flat visions of misty places,
fragments bound below my surface,
but I can write dreams,
they flow from me,
inscribed but now unbound,
I touch them,
and they are real,
and they are real."

- hobie16
- Permanent Fixture
- Posts: 10546
- Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2004 4:45 pm
- Park: DLR
- Department: Fruity Drink Land
- Position: Mai Tai Face Plant
- Location: 717 Miles NNW Of DLR
Re: This Is A Manager
I hope not. It was a story I found on Not Always Right.CujoSR wrote:Something you need to tell us?

Don't be fooled by appearances. In Hawaii, some of the most powerful people look like bums and stuntmen.
--- Matt King
Stay low and run in a zigzag pattern.
-
- Repeat Traveler
- Posts: 82
- Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2005 9:53 pm
- Location: Earth
- Contact:
Re: This Is A Manager
Managing is all about knowledge of policies, procedures, and the law... and then using that to put the fear of God into those troublesome few.
- Main Streeter
- Permanent Fixture
- Posts: 4608
- Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 6:10 am
- Location: D L
- Contact:
Re: This Is A Manager
LAD Security? ;) You have learned very well.CA Screamin Dude wrote:Managing is all about knowledge of policies, procedures, and the law... and then using that to put the fear of God into those troublesome few.

"You work here? You must be SO rich!"
RESCUE A PET! [font="Arial Black"]Within the heart of every stray Lies the singular desire to be loved.[/font]
Re: This Is A Manager
Best site ever. :Dhobie16 wrote:I hope not. It was a story I found on Not Always Right.
Mental note: Do not ever ask questions on SGT.com
Will result in getting treated like scum.
Will result in getting treated like scum.
-
- Permanent Fixture
- Posts: 4844
- Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:16 pm
Re: This Is A Manager
Sory Mr. M,,,,,,,,,,second best site ever. ;)Mr. M wrote:Best site ever. :D

Beer....The reason I get up every,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,afternoon.
- hobie16
- Permanent Fixture
- Posts: 10546
- Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2004 4:45 pm
- Park: DLR
- Department: Fruity Drink Land
- Position: Mai Tai Face Plant
- Location: 717 Miles NNW Of DLR
Re: This Is A Manager
And this is an owner.
(One night while working a busy dinner shift, a elderly couple shows up in my section, at a table that just left. I had assumed that the hostesses were just busy and sat them immediately.)
Me: “Welcome to *****, what can I get you to drink?”
Them: “We’ve been sitting here for 10 minutes? What took you so long?”
(I knew that I had cleared the table not more than 5 minutes ago.)
Me: I’m terribly sorry, we’re awful busy. Now, what can I get you tonight?”
(They order coffee and water, with extra cream. I get their coffee as fast as possible, but have to make a second trip for the creamer. Before I can let them know I’ll be right back…)
Them: “That took forever! What’s wrong with you? It’s never taken this long before. Where’s our creamer?!”
(I calm them down enough to get away from the table and get the creamer. I am gone less than 30 seconds.)
Them: “This is the worst service I’ve ever had! I can’t believe they would hire you! This isn’t enough creamer!”
Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but I am trying my best to satisfy your dining needs. If you don’t feel that my service is adequate, please feel free to request another waiter.”
(I walk away to take care of my other tables. Shortly thereafter, the owner calls me over.)
Owner: “What did you say to those people?”
Me: *repeat the story to him*
Owner: “Okay, who sat them?”
Me: “I don’t know. They just showed up. I thought a hostess did.”
Owner, to hostess: “Who sat that couple?”
Hostess: “They sat themselves.”
Owner, to customers: “You sat yourselves while we have a 20 minute wait?”
Customers: “Well, there was an empty table!”
Owner: “Get the f*** out of my restaurant!”
(One night while working a busy dinner shift, a elderly couple shows up in my section, at a table that just left. I had assumed that the hostesses were just busy and sat them immediately.)
Me: “Welcome to *****, what can I get you to drink?”
Them: “We’ve been sitting here for 10 minutes? What took you so long?”
(I knew that I had cleared the table not more than 5 minutes ago.)
Me: I’m terribly sorry, we’re awful busy. Now, what can I get you tonight?”
(They order coffee and water, with extra cream. I get their coffee as fast as possible, but have to make a second trip for the creamer. Before I can let them know I’ll be right back…)
Them: “That took forever! What’s wrong with you? It’s never taken this long before. Where’s our creamer?!”
(I calm them down enough to get away from the table and get the creamer. I am gone less than 30 seconds.)
Them: “This is the worst service I’ve ever had! I can’t believe they would hire you! This isn’t enough creamer!”
Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but I am trying my best to satisfy your dining needs. If you don’t feel that my service is adequate, please feel free to request another waiter.”
(I walk away to take care of my other tables. Shortly thereafter, the owner calls me over.)
Owner: “What did you say to those people?”
Me: *repeat the story to him*
Owner: “Okay, who sat them?”
Me: “I don’t know. They just showed up. I thought a hostess did.”
Owner, to hostess: “Who sat that couple?”
Hostess: “They sat themselves.”
Owner, to customers: “You sat yourselves while we have a 20 minute wait?”
Customers: “Well, there was an empty table!”
Owner: “Get the f*** out of my restaurant!”

Don't be fooled by appearances. In Hawaii, some of the most powerful people look like bums and stuntmen.
--- Matt King
Stay low and run in a zigzag pattern.