Do I look like your mother? Funny. Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't appear to have a tail, paws, and fur and howl at the moon like the pack of wolves you were raised by.
Were you born stupid or did your mother drop you as a baby? (I actually used that one on the parade route doing GC)
I drink to forget people like you.
Please God don't ever clone yourself.
Me: No you can't go in right now. You're fastpass isn't good for another 3 minutes.
Guest: But it's only 3 minutes.
Me: Yes. But your ticket says 12:50. It does not say 12:47.
(Again I actually used that one the other day at the ghost house. I had CM's rolling on the floor with that.)
What If You Could Tell Off Stupid Guests.....
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Space Man K7
- Repeat Traveler
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 12:03 am
- Location: Critter Country / Tomorrowland VIVA LA SPACE MOUNTAIN
Oh my God, what wouldn't I say...
For some reason I manage to get away with some of the things that I do.
Althought it all depends on the location...
At Space:
"Hey, Fat Ass... how bout you sit down now? and NO you can't have row one... Ever... you're too fat."
At Monohell:
" Um, No you can't make a round trip from Downtown... what part of ONE WAY TRIP DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? What? Do we go to Knotts?... Stupid!"
But so far the one that I did manage to get away with was on October 4th... some fat man with an SAP came on the canoes and refused to paddle because he had a bad back, and so did the rest of his large (as in fat) group. This was making it hard for me to steer, so I proved my point by side swiping the island, and said, "Now if we were on a track, and had a motor... would we have just hit the island? Now how bout we all paddle?" Let me add the fact that while I was trying to correct, I managed to snap my paddle... this also kind of scared the fat man's friends into paddling.
After Fatty told me he had a bad back, I asked him why he was on a canoe... he told me that he wanted to go around the river. I responded that if he refused to paddle, and wanted to go around the river, why didn't he try the Mark Twain or Columbia... THEY HAVE MOTORS!
For some reason I manage to get away with some of the things that I do.
Althought it all depends on the location...
At Space:
"Hey, Fat Ass... how bout you sit down now? and NO you can't have row one... Ever... you're too fat."
At Monohell:
" Um, No you can't make a round trip from Downtown... what part of ONE WAY TRIP DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? What? Do we go to Knotts?... Stupid!"
But so far the one that I did manage to get away with was on October 4th... some fat man with an SAP came on the canoes and refused to paddle because he had a bad back, and so did the rest of his large (as in fat) group. This was making it hard for me to steer, so I proved my point by side swiping the island, and said, "Now if we were on a track, and had a motor... would we have just hit the island? Now how bout we all paddle?" Let me add the fact that while I was trying to correct, I managed to snap my paddle... this also kind of scared the fat man's friends into paddling.
After Fatty told me he had a bad back, I asked him why he was on a canoe... he told me that he wanted to go around the river. I responded that if he refused to paddle, and wanted to go around the river, why didn't he try the Mark Twain or Columbia... THEY HAVE MOTORS!
The water is green for a reason
Not quite sure what that reason is,
but it's green for a reason Kids!
Not quite sure what that reason is,
but it's green for a reason Kids!
Hahahahahaha! That's funny!At Space:
"Hey, Fat Ass... how bout you sit down now? and NO you can't have row one... Ever... you're too fat."
Out of curiosity, how many "Bonus Passes" would you have to accumulate to redeem them for a pair of brass knuckles? :twisted: :P
I'm all for thinning of the Anal Passholder herd, but lets do it in style.
RIP Bud Hurlbut.
You will be missed.
You will be missed.
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Tim Gaines
- Wide-eyed Newcomer
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Sat Nov 22, 2003 10:52 pm
- Location: Former Eastsider (Now in Germany)
- Contact:
The LIMIT-LESS topic...
Wow...
I really do not know what all I would say. It's been a while since I've joined the Army, and my tounge is a little more free in what it can say and can't. However back in my days in the Eastside, I think the following situations would happen a lot (I would PHOTO-COPY that "exemption pass" and use it all the time!)
-Guest Exits HISTA with 3d glasses and passes the turn-in-point.
<SNATCH! Right off their oily hair, SWISH, into the basket>
G> "Hey! I wanted those!"
Me> "Oooh, looks like you got OWNED by my wicket snatching skills!"
-I am standing RIGHT by the "SPACE MOUTAIN sign"
G> "Where is Space Moutain?"
Me> "Do me a favor and look up... mmm, don't we feel stupid?"
-I am out at END OF LINE position
G> "What time are the 9 oclock fire works?
Me> Looking at them for a couple seconds, "Repeat that again, slowly..."
-Me, standing ANYWHERE stupid guests are located
G> "Do you work here?"
Me> Silence. Only a slow eye-scanning motion from my boots up then a pointed stare to my WHITE name tag.
It's been a while since Ive had to deal with any silly people like this, but I am sure given a week or so I could give you more appropriate, vular responses. BIOTCH.
I really do not know what all I would say. It's been a while since I've joined the Army, and my tounge is a little more free in what it can say and can't. However back in my days in the Eastside, I think the following situations would happen a lot (I would PHOTO-COPY that "exemption pass" and use it all the time!)
-Guest Exits HISTA with 3d glasses and passes the turn-in-point.
<SNATCH! Right off their oily hair, SWISH, into the basket>
G> "Hey! I wanted those!"
Me> "Oooh, looks like you got OWNED by my wicket snatching skills!"
-I am standing RIGHT by the "SPACE MOUTAIN sign"
G> "Where is Space Moutain?"
Me> "Do me a favor and look up... mmm, don't we feel stupid?"
-I am out at END OF LINE position
G> "What time are the 9 oclock fire works?
Me> Looking at them for a couple seconds, "Repeat that again, slowly..."
-Me, standing ANYWHERE stupid guests are located
G> "Do you work here?"
Me> Silence. Only a slow eye-scanning motion from my boots up then a pointed stare to my WHITE name tag.
It's been a while since Ive had to deal with any silly people like this, but I am sure given a week or so I could give you more appropriate, vular responses. BIOTCH.
Terrible Tim
Ex-Disneyland CM [2000-2001]
HISTA, AUTOPIA, FP, GC
Now a Military Police officer...
Ex-Disneyland CM [2000-2001]
HISTA, AUTOPIA, FP, GC
Now a Military Police officer...
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coldfire409
- Regular Guest
- Posts: 362
- Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2003 8:10 pm
- Location: Wilton Manors, FL
- Contact:
I already have many snappy answers to stupid guest questions, but I would make sure to have many of those passes with me for these ones.
Do you work here?
No I just felt like standing here at the end of this line loading the ride for them.
What time is the 3 o'clock prade?
Sorry, it was an hour ago, you missed it
What do you mean that Fantasmic is full?
Yes, all these other people also wanted to see the show, and they were able to read the map to see that there was limited seating, and that they should be there before the show actually started
Is this ride scary?
That would depend on what is scary?
Well, will it scare my children?
Being the fact that I do not know your children or what scares them how am I supposed to know what will or will not scare them you idiot.
Is this ride like. . . ? Inserting a ride that is in some other park in some other part of the nation or world
Being the fact that I do not know you or where that ride is how am I supposed to know what that ride is like. Let alone being able to compare them. Do you think I am able to read your mind and tell you what you went on compare it to this ride.
Is it a ride?
No dumba** we just put ride in the name of the attraction to confuse everybody
Do you work here?
No I just felt like standing here at the end of this line loading the ride for them.
What time is the 3 o'clock prade?
Sorry, it was an hour ago, you missed it
What do you mean that Fantasmic is full?
Yes, all these other people also wanted to see the show, and they were able to read the map to see that there was limited seating, and that they should be there before the show actually started
Is this ride scary?
That would depend on what is scary?
Well, will it scare my children?
Being the fact that I do not know your children or what scares them how am I supposed to know what will or will not scare them you idiot.
Is this ride like. . . ? Inserting a ride that is in some other park in some other part of the nation or world
Being the fact that I do not know you or where that ride is how am I supposed to know what that ride is like. Let alone being able to compare them. Do you think I am able to read your mind and tell you what you went on compare it to this ride.
Is it a ride?
No dumba** we just put ride in the name of the attraction to confuse everybody
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SplashMtnBoy
- Wide-eyed Newcomer
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 8:07 pm
- Location: Orlando, FL
- Contact:
My usual answer for the stupid question of "where's a good place to see the fireworks?" ,is "up in the sky is the best place. If we shhot them off on the ground noone would see them and it would give you guests 3rd degree burns."
-Joe
-JoeHave a seat ma'am. It's supposed to be wet. It's a water ride. Why do you think we call it Splash Mountain. If you want to stay dry, then go to Country Bears.