Snappy answers to Stupid Guests

[Driver_dylan]

After a long and very tedious stint at photocell to day I started thinking of funny things to say to SGTs.

SGT: Why is ther no fastpass?
CM: Because I decided that Fastpass is to much of a headach.

SGT: Why can't I get in?
CM: Because you need to buy a watch and get to the show on time.

SGT: How do I get in?
CM: Through the entrence.

SGT: Why is this map different from mine?
CM: Because THis map was gotten from the front of the park this week, not from one of those road side shops that sell used tickets.

[sambrea]

same Dylan who also works Honey????!!!!!

Andrea (from Honey)

[Holden]

I was talking to a cm friend of mine while he was working on Thursday. He drives boats from Epcot to MGM. Obviously the parks were crowded; thus, all the boats were full. I witnessed this exchange and thought I'd share.

An obese couple was standing at the end of the gang plank waiting to board.

CM (noticing them not moving towards the boat): I'm sorry, you can board.
Female Obese Guest (FOG): Is this a standing boat (SRO...keep in mind, the parks are jammed, the stop is BW, the last before Epcot, with Swan, Dolphin, YC, BC and BW guests).
CM: They're all standing. We're full, the parks are full.
FOG: You don't have to be so abusive. (Huh)
CM: The ride is four minutes from here to Epcot. It's only four minutes.
FOG: My husband (who must also be mute because he hasn't said a word) can't stand that long. He has a twisted knee, and you don't need to be so abusive. (huh)
CM: The ride is only four minutes and the boats are full. There are no seats on the boat.
FOG: But my husband's knee....
CM: What are you going to do at Epcot?
FOG: Thanks for your compassion and understanding.....
I had to walk away before I started yelling at the guests for being idiots....

I'll be watching for this to be posted on the Disboards about he rude boats captain....

Happy New Year.

[leftcoaster]

Passing one along from a friend of mine who was at WDW before Christmas.

He was at Epcot at the American Adventure, and there was a sign stating that the Hannukah story teller would not be giving his/her talk that afternoon because the pavilion was closed for a private party. So, SG demands to know why the Hannukah story teller would not be speaking....they were APs...and they came there just to hear the story of Hannukah. The poor CM was explaining that the pavilion was closed for the afternoon, but the the Voices of Liberty would sing a few Hannukah songs. That seemed to satisfy them.

[hhsrat]

but the the Voices of Liberty would sing a few Hannukah songs.

A "few" hanukkah songs? I'm only aware of 2 ... Dreidle, and the Adam Sandler one. ;)

[Main Streeter]

A "few" hanukkah songs? I'm only aware of 2

There are 4 more I've heard during The Festival of Lights. Funniest Hanukkah song is Hanukkah Harry Beat Up Santa. Swear! This is an actual song. Doubt Disney would use it. :D:

[SueOKW]

There are two really good Hannukah songs on the Bare Naked Ladies' (dare I say Christmas?) CD. I've played them both on my "holiday" show.

anyway - love this thread! I am not quick witted AT ALL - and really enjoy people who are.

Happy New Year, btw!!!! We'll be visiting in less that 90 days....

[hhsrat]

(10-13 yr old female) Guest: Will we get wet on this?
CM: Perhaps
Guest: But we've got a baby! (pointing to baby sister sitting on lap)
CM: This is very true, but I'm pretty sure she won't melt.
Guest: Oh, ok

(guest's parental units are amused by this and obviously have a sense of humor, so the CM continues)

CM: However, I will need to check your seat belts. Please reach down and pull up on the yellow tab. (bear in mind, this is an attraction without a restraint system)
(same 10-13 yr old female) Guest: (looks around for seat belt)
CM: Made ya look! :)

[Rob562]

[quote="hhsrat"]A "few" hanukkah songs? I'm only aware of 2 ... Dreidle, and the Adam Sandler one. ]

Actually, the Voices of Liberty do a very nice Hanukkah medley:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7Z0-tzE1mk

-Rob

[kickman77]

you really want to screw with a guest, as you see them moving quickly tell them they dropped their smile as fast as you can. the only thing that registers is dropped and they will freeeze and start looking and by the time the rest of there brain catches up they feel like a dumbass. Always gives me a great big smile


Some answers for questiosn I have....

Q: Can we get in (as 5000 people flood LMA)
A: No people wearing (whatever color they have on) Can not go in today. The fil cameras can not pick that color up correctly.

Q: What is this?
A: A Fantasy Created By A man named Walt

Q: Is that Mickeys Plane?
A: No Its my plane, I fly from Philly everday and park it here. Do you like the Mickey Stickers

Q: What is that? (Pointing to something on a map)
A: A picture on a map

Q: Can my baby see this?
A: If they decide to look at it

Q: Will my child be scared?
A: I would be if I was your child

Q; how many people does this theater seat?
A: A lot


thats all i have for now