Hey, there's a kid in the water over there!

[head mouse]

It's certainly a different world then when I grew up. As a kid in the 70's and 80's, I was riding my bike all over town by myself, a few miles away from home, by the time I was 10-12. On those days I was sick, I was staying home by myself from the time I was in third grade. Now, when my 11 year old gets sick, I get dirty looks from some people if they find out I left her alone for a couple of hours by herself (trust me, she can handle it)

How old to let them go by themselves? It's different for each kid and for each parent. With some families, I think the kid is better off getting away from mom and dad as soon as they're old enough to walk. :D: But usually it's a gradual thing, just as the others have said. And so much depends on where you are and what's going on...

But I think that Sue has a good point- WDW is about as good a place as any to let them start stretching. But only if the kid knows how to behave themselves. I hate it when parents let the rowdy kids run off by themselves. Guess it's a bit of a catch-22

You must be around my age.

I know exactly what you are saying.

Summer time we stayed home alone. (just locked the doors) We rode our bikes all around town, it was nice. But by the time I got to the end of middle school. it had changed. we couldnt ride our bikes just anywhere. only in front of the house. The crime had goten so bad. I talk to my friend that still lives in the house next door to where I lived. he said they walked outside the othrer day and found a body laying on the side walk.

I almost feel bad that I'm about to bring a child into this nasty world

[hobie16]

That is seriously scary business. The drink bit sounds urban myth-ish, but it could be true. How awful.

I wish it was urban myth. The culture among those who consider themselves "locals" promotes drinking to excess. Every time a kid or young adult is killed in a wreck, a monument usually appears within a few hours. The TV stations love this stuff for the 6 PM news. In most cases, beer bottles surround the cross.

Last year a 36 year old woman rolled her car down a cliff. Inside the car were her 17-year-old boy friend, a 16-year-old girl and the girl’s six-month-old daughter. Other than the baby, they were all on meth, pot and drunk. The woman and her boy friend were killed. The girl was ejected and survived. The baby survived with critical injuries as she was somewhat protected by the baby seat even though it wasn't strapped in. The best part was interviews and letters to the local paper saying these were great people who set examples for all the kids in their neighborhood. The girl had survived being ejected from the bed of a pickup (Hawaiian seatbelt laws defy any rational logic) a week earlier and was touted as having nine lives.

These three were probably considered “cool.” In the kids world, if you’re not cool then your dead. The problem for me is making sure my daughter can make good decisions on whether to be cool or safe and alive. I fight a daily battle against her peers and other influences that want to harm her. It sometimes feels like a losing battle but I’m not giving up.

[GaTechGal]

Hobi, definitly don't give up.

But I have to disagree with letting your kids go off by themselves at WDW. At our neighborhood pool, kids are allowed to go down by themselves if they are 9 and have to take a test from the lifeguards to prove that they can swim. But I know all the lifeguards, they know me and they know my kids. They also know how to get in touch with my if they start acting up. And my kids know that so they are less likely to misbehave. At somewhere like WDW, as wonderful as it is, nobody there knows me or my kids and I don't know them. It's my responsibility to watch my own kids. I need to be there so if there is some sort of problem, I'll be able to take care of it. Now I might let my kids out of my sight to go to another part of a store, but I'll have my eye on them as best I can, and have a meeting place and time so nobody gets lost.

[SueOKW]

I have a friend that is somewhat like that with her kids. (She may be stricter than you are.) It's all different for each family. She has great kids, but they can't wait at the bus stop alone, or walk home from school - and one is in 9th grade. I worry that when she does let them out from under her wing will they know how to fly? I know I have kids that are responsible, (their older brother is disabled, so they know about responsibility), and considerate to everyone BUT their mom, and absolutely dying for a little independence.

Walking around alone at Old Key West was so much easier than letting them walk home from school. It was more a case of giving ME practice letting them go than letting them have some independence. (now that i think about it! )

I babysat at the age of 12. If I was capable of doing that at that age, my kids had better be capable of behaving in public, be polite and stay together at the same age. And oh yeah - my now 14 year old absolutely knows the truth about conception. (And so far is disgusted by the thought! ;) )

I'm not sure how old your kids are, but I think you'll recognize the time when it comes.

[PirateJohn]

These three were probably considered “cool.” In the kids world, if you’re not cool then your dead.

I think I was fortunate growing up in tat the "cool" crowd was also a pretty good crowd. Certainly, they had an edge to them, but they were good people, and many of them remained friends of mine for several years after high school.

[SueOKW]

Yeah - cool is reaching a whole new level... it's all changing SO fast. Heck 100 years ago cars were barely invented..(right?).. can't remember. And now we can fly to London in 6 hours, text message all over the world, and video conference, and meet people all over the place on fantastic web boards. It's an amazing world.

I don't want my kids to get hooked on anything or die in a car wreck. Fortunately, I've got about a year before I have to sweat the car stuff.... that's a whole new VERY scary thing.

As my insane friend Uncle Andy would sing...

It's a world of sorrow
a world of tears
a world gone mad
yes, a world of fears

a world in which we cry
a world in which we die
it's a mad, mad world.

[hobie16]

I think I was fortunate growing up in tat the "cool" crowd was also a pretty good crowd. Certainly, they had an edge to them, but they were good people, and many of them remained friends of mine for several years after high school.

There is always a "cool" crowd in every society, large and small. I'm referring more to the social pressure that's generated by all stratum levels of social groups. It can be the elites or the punks, ropers or dopers, nerds or greasers.

My oldest kid, who had been in a tight social group, was ostracized overnight because she refused to smoke dope. She was told she was not cool.

Part of a song by Rush sums it up.

In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out

In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out

I stress with my youngest that it’s okay to go your own way and not succumb to pressure from others. Whatever the situation is, think about the consequences first.

[dteed]

I as a frequent guest to WDW do allow my kids a certain amount of freedom away from us while in the world. I have let them swim in resort pools unsupervised by us as long as they are together and a lifeguard is on duty. I plan on allowing them to roam EPCOT this weekend to an extent once again together while my wife and I enjoy some time at the food and wine fest. I don't believe there is any one solution for how old they should be before allowing some freedom. By the way, they are 12 and 10 and both carry cell phones around their neck. What do you guys think?

[felinefan]

I grew up in the 60s, and I was allowed to walk to my best friends house a few blocks away by myself when I was 6 or 7. But I was living in a very quiet, peaceful suburb of Ventura, and at school we saw the "stranger danger" films. As far as I know, nobody ever had to call on that knowledge. One time when I was 7 or 8, I came home from school to an empty house. There was a bottomless chair in the living room which hadn't been there before. I freaked. I couldn't find Mom. I sat down and cried. Finally my mom and my uncle came home. They had brought the chair over from my uncle's to get a new seat for it, and thought they'd be back before I got home. I think I told mom never to do that again! There was a public swimming pool next door--we'd seen it get built--and on hot days, we four oldest ones--my baby sister stayed behind--would go to the pool for hours. The only time something bad happened was when I jumped straight-legged into the shallow end and sprained my back. OUCH!!!!
The places we lived in afterward, though, all suburban, were pretty safe. The only times I heard of any violence in my neighborhood was one day in the early 70s, a couple of kids broke into a neighbor's house in broad daylight, and beat up the dog in the back yard. I don't know how much, if anything, they got from the house. A few years later, a couple guys got into a fight near the local volunteer fire department, and the one guy got his head beat in; there was blood on the sidewalk that took forever to wash away with rain. My family left the area soon afterward. But if our parents weren't with us, my older brother and sister were with me and my younger sister, and sometimes my youngest sister. Mom and Dad didn't go out much without us, but when they did, if it was just a few hours, my older sibs would watch us. The three times my mom was in the hospital when I was little--a stillborn baby, gallbladder surgery, birth of my youngest sister--my grandma came to care for us. But now I understand the law is that a child must be at least 14 years old before they can be left alone at home. And as those of us who work at theme parks know, responsible person means 16+. But you guys are right; it's a way differant world that those of us 30+ grew up in. All you can do is your best to communicate with your kids all the time and teach them right from wrong, and hope for the best.

[Radar]

Last year a 36 year old woman rolled her car down a cliff. Inside the car were her 17-year-old boy friend, a 16-year-old girl and the girl’s six-month-old daughter.

I saw that car down from the cliff when I was there last summer. I can't believe anyone survived that crash, it looked awful. I remember reading that a family member of the 36 year old was suing because there should have been guardrails or something. Maybe they shouldn't have been on drugs and that wouldn't have been a problem.