Your Spiels

[wazowski]

Some of the things I've been saying at Dumbo, I'm surprised I haven't been talked to yet.
"Welcome back Dumbo pilots! Please gather all your belongings, watch your step and exit out the nearest blue exit gate. They're blue, they have the word exit on them and if you push on them, they'll open! Thanks for flying with Dumbo, where every trip's a round one." This is usually followed by a sing songy "push push push, push on the gate" as guests stare blankly at said gate.

how about push on the gate and it will magically open!

[littlehope]

For ODV we have a spiel, for our Ice Cream..."When you first get the sorbet you want to warm it up for a few minutes...or your lips and/or tongue might get stuck to it."
I dont usually say what happens unless they ask. Most of the time even when I do tell them want happens the parents don't care and give it to thier 3 year old right away. I haven't seen it happen yet...but someday it will happen in front of me.
For all the other ice creams we need to warn that they are hard as rocks and not to hurt their teeth. Most guests don't believe us on this one so they take a big bite and then say "wow that's hard, you should warn people about this."

[PirateJohn]

Here's one spiel I used to use on Pirates. Alas, I had to stop using it after the leads told me to -- I never got a guest complaint about it and the leads all admitted it was pretty funny, but they shut it down anyway. Ah well.

"Welcome aboard. Please be sure, throughout your voyage, to remain seated at all times with all hands and arms that you plan to keep inside the boat. If you should accidentally place a hand or arm outside the boat, they can be claimed at lost and found. If unclaimed after thirty days, they're donated to the Hands Across America Foundation. We do good things."

[Captain Josh]

I haven't really had a chance to spiel yet, but I DO have fun on the trains when we're deadheading back to the Roundhouse with the PA.

Last Night Behind It's a Small World:

"Hey Ana, is this train going to make it to Tomorrowland Station?"

"No."

"So we're not going to Tommorowland Station?"

"Nope."

"So, what you are saying is that we, the conductors of Holiday 5 have NO TOMORROW?"

*hilarity ensues*

[IndyandMarion]

In the morning at rope drop (Provided I find the time to do so) I'll normally take about ten minutes (AKA kill time) to go over various things. Keep in mind, this is all done with no water on hand and ONLY MY VOICE, no megaphone or microphone.

*Walking up to the crowd* Ladies and Gentlemen, good morning! How is everyone?
*Ten people respond. Then I simply drop my jacket on the ground, throw my hands up, scoff and walk away, take about ten steps, stop, scratch the back of my head then return to the crowd and start over*

Ladies and Gentlemen, good morning! How is everyone?
*Crowd responds*
Great, 10 am would've been a good morning for me. Well my name is CJ, I'm a local DJ over at G-Force Records and the Rock n Roller Coaster. In about five minutes, we'll officially open the park, however there are a few things we need to cover. First, anyone going to G-Force Records and the Rock n Roller Coaster please raise your hand.
*Various hands go up*

Good, do me a favor, move over to that side of the street. Later on, you guys will be following myself and my, at the moment, missing in action counterpart to the recording studio. Anyone going to that other place, whatever it's called, the terror tower, tower of terror, whatever, follow those so called bell hops.

*More hands go up*

Good, move to that side of the street. Anyone going to Lights! Motors! Action!, Star Tours or the Muppets 3-D, you want to be over on the far side over there...Now, anyone else going to the Little Mermaid or the Great Movie Ride, these are the two most difficult attractions to find...You guys need to look for a BIG BLUE HAT! If you cannot find this hat, there is no hope for you!

Now, Fastpass. Be advised, Rock n Roller Coaster, Tower of Terror, Voyage of the Little Mermaid, Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular, Star Tours and Lights! Motors! Action! all have the fastpass system. However, there are a few simple rules. One, you can only hold ONE FASTPASS EVERY HOUR. This means, if you go to the Tower of Terror and get a fastpass, then go right to Rock n Roller Coaster and get one, your Coaster pass will not work! On your current fastpass, it will show the window in which you return, and when your next available ticket will be. Now listen up carefully! There is ONE exception to this rule. You can hold a fastpass for Lights! Motors! Action! AND ONE ADDITIONAL FASTPASS FOR ANOTHER ATTRACTION AT ONCE! THIS IS THE ONLY WAY IT WILL WORK.

Now one more thing on the fastpass. It's early in the morning I know, but just think about this. YOU GUYS ARE THE FIRST GUESTS IN THE PARK! FASTPASSES WILL BE AVAILABLE HOWEVER, YOU WILL BE COMING BACK IN ABOUT AN HOUR FROM NOW!
*Blank stares. I drop my jacket again, and jokingly stomp my foot on the ground* THINK ABOUT THIS!!! WHY GET A FASTPASS TO COME BACK IN AN HOUR WHEN YOU CAN RIDE AGAIN AND AGAIN RIGHT NOW! That goes for later in the day. If the fastpass has you coming back two or three hours from that current time and the stand by line is only ten minutes *I stomp my foot harder* WHY GET A FASTPASS!!??
*Imatating a guest* But we were going to come back and do it later.
*Shaking my head in that Lewis Black sort of way* UM NO! DO IT NOW! WHY COME BACK LATER WHEN THERE'S A 10 MINUTE WAIT NOW! DO IT AND GET IT OUT OF THE WAY!

Moving on. In case some of you don't know, or have forgotten, we are in FLO-RI-DA! This is the summer. During this time, *Shaking my head "no"* we are not known for our cool temperatures and sunny afternoons. If you came here with the impression that this is the sunshine state in the summer, YOU WERE GRAVELY MISINFORMED! In the summer, we are known for our VERY HOT TEMPERATURES AND THUNDERSTORMS! I am not saying this to scare you guys, just stating facts. As they say at Splash Mountain, dry is NOT an option. The same applies anywhere else when it rains. If you get stuck in the rain, please do not run! We don't want you falling and hurting yourself. It's simply water, you will not melt, I've done the research, trust me. Now, please please please drink plenty of water and powerade. Also, no, the alcohol loophole does not apply for drinking water.

Finally! We here at the Studios, have three simple rules. Just three.
Number one! We ask that you stay behind us and that you WALK with us. If you run ahead of us, it won't do you any good because we *Pointing to the CMs* hold the keys to the ride!
*Few people laugh*
I sense some of you think I'm lying about that...Well guess what? *I pull my keys off my belt and hold them up* Here are the keys to coaster, SO DON'T TRY IT!

Rule number 2! Refer back to rule number 1!

Rule number 3! HAVE FUN! I know about 99.9 percent of you will have fun simply because you are at least three hundred miles from your in-laws!

So, Reveiw, Rule Number 1: *Only a few guests answer*
Rule Number 1!!!
Guests: No Running and Stay behind you!
Rule Number 2: *Murmers*
RULE NUMBER 2!!!
Guests: Refer back to number one!

I can sense you guys are not awake yet but fear now, coffee is sold right around the corner but I'll be nice and help you out, Rule number 3 is Have Fun!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you enjoy your day. Later on, I hope you still enjoy your day. For whatever reason that you don't, FIND SOMEONE THAT IS AND ASK THEM WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG!

And now, *Park opening Music kicks in* Welcome to Hollywood! *Morning announcement kicks in*

[PirateJohn]

My Pirates spiel, done in what I must say is a pretty darned good pirate voice if I do say so myself:

"Ahoy, mateys. Welcome aboard. Throughout yer voyage, remain seated at all times or we'll make ye walk the plank! And keep those hands and arrrrrrrrrrrms inside the boat. And ye might wanna watch those hats n glasses so they don't end up at the bottom of Davey Jones locker. And no flash pictures, as they frighten the pirates. And the last thing ye want on yer hands is a frightened pirate! We'll be settin' sail in a few moments. Thar be squalls up ahead."

[BullFrog]

My Pirates spiel, done in what I must say is a pretty darned good pirate voice if I do say so myself:

"Ahoy, mateys. Welcome aboard. Throughout yer voyage, remain seated at all times or we'll make ye walk the plank! And keep those hands and arrrrrrrrrrrms inside the boat. And ye might wanna watch those hats n glasses so they don't end up at the bottom of Davey Jones locker. And no flash pictures, as they frighten the pirates. And the last thing ye want on yer hands is a frightened pirate! We'll be settin' sail in a few moments. Thar be squalls up ahead."

That's awesome!

A Spiel like that would TOTALLY make my day as a guest!

:piratedan

[PirateJohn]

That's awesome!

A Spiel like that would TOTALLY make my day as a guest!

:piratedan

Thanks. :) Alas, however, despite the fact that I have gotten entire boatloads of people to give me a round of applause, I've still never gotten a guest compliment at City Hall for it... *sigh*

Ah well. The managers have all seen me do my schtick and have all duly acknowledged me for it.

[IndyandMarion]

Apparently your doing something wrong then. Either that or I'm just that damn good at doing the speils because I don't get compliments from the guests through Guest Relations....

I get the compliments from the guests directly. Heck, I'm bein' serious about this, I had one guy track me down to say how good I was...

I'll be with my agent if you want to talk about what to do to help your speils get to that level.

[PirateJohn]

Yeah, I've gotten the compliments directly, too, and that's certainly very nice and does pick me up. At the same time, it kinda makes me wonder what I'm not doing that all my co-workers with multiple GC's eash are.