riot Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
The five second rule does NOT apply to churros! Photo composite by Marty, as is the "comment below" question.

Man throws away entire churro at Animal Kingdom; riot breaks out

Rest in peace, poor churro, we hardly knew ye. HARAMBE, FL -- A riot broke out in the Africa section of Disney's Animal Kingdom after a man was spotted throwing away an entire churro. Our very own Uncle Walt witnessed this atrocity first hand. "I was taking note of a bit of paint chipped off the top of one of the buildings so I could file a complaint with Guest Relations about the state of the park," Uncle Walt told himself so ...
March 27, 2022 by Walt in Florida
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One of the many barricades in the Reedy Creek Autonomous Zone. Photo by Michael Rivera [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia.

Florida moves to shut down Disney’s ‘Reedy Creek Autonomous Zone’

Lately its enforcers have even taken to wearing masks, so you know they're up to no good. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Local officials today hinted that the days are numbered for Disney's Reedy Creek Autonomous Zone. The lawless area has been in place since the 1960's, with its occupiers creating their own structures and "parks" within the Zone. They have actually built a fairly impressive infrastructure, but do not consider themselves subject to most state regulations. Furthermore, several of the areas within the ...
August 14, 2020 by Marty in Florida
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The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution is on the warpath. Wait, can we say 'warpath'? Photo Public Domain.

Walt Disney canceled? Name to be removed from parks and movies worldwide

We kind of figured this would have to happen eventually. BURBANK, CA -- Officials at the Company announced today that they are erasing 's name from films, theme parks, and products world-wide. (the company) spokesperson Jun (no relation) shared the reasoning. " was a backwards thinker. And he had a major part in creating things that can never see the light of day again, including Song of the South, Nazi-loving Donald Duck, and cream cheese-filled pretzels. Because of this, ...
July 10, 2020 by Walt in California, Florida, World
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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Walt Disney World is closed? Why?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: I went to book a vacation to Walt Disney World - my first - and their website says they're closed? Really? What's up with that?" - Carl S., Cheyenne Wy Harriet: Just don't go to Walt Disney World. There are enough ...
July 6, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney
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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: What else will go wrong this year?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: It was only a few months ago that the biggest problem involving Disney Parks was stranding Skyliner riders in the air for a few hours. Good times! What do you predict will go wrong in the coming months?" - ...
July 2, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney
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