Is chivalry really dead?

[WEDFan]

I'd just be happy if common courtesy was brought back.

Just the little things, Like saying "Please".."Thank You" and the long forgotten "Excuse Me" and even MORE rare "I'm Sorry". Maybe holding a door rather then just letting it nearly slam into someone (gender doesn't matter).

Right there with ya! All of the above are regularly used components of my vocabulary.

[5th Dimension]

For me, I only hold the door open if someone is right behind me. I hate it when people try to fling the door open when I'm a few feet behind, I'd rather it close completely, because now I am expected to grab the door as it is closing. That makes opening the door harder than it has to be, and puts unnecessary pressure on your arms and back.

Also, for those automatic doors, some of those doors with the handicap button are really hard to open, again, putting extra strain on your arm and back. I press the button to open the door if I think it's too heavy, or if there are more people coming.

[Ms. Matterhorn]

Having lived through the sixties and Women's Lib, I think that some gentlemen just don't know what to do. It is common courtesy to hold a door for someone of any gender. But in the sixties, women became militant about doing things for themselves. Some would get annoyed with men holding a door for them. Funny as it seems today, the door-holding thing was a big deal. So men stopped doing it.

At the school where I teach, it's easy to tell whose parents raised them to be courteous. Some students will hold the door open for me, and some will wait for me to enter first. Other students barge right in front of me, or crowd into the classroom while I'm still unlocking the door. It's now my job to teach them manners as well.

Yesterday a male teacher was walking with a student about five feet in front of me. They went through double doors and just let them swing shut behind them. Very rude and incosiderate. That teacher is an a$$hole anyway.

[YANXWIN]

This has been my thought throughout this thread. I guess I don't expect men to treat women as inferior, just the opposite. They are our equals, but they also deserve our respect and care. I just expect for people to look out for one another. This world would be a kinder, gentler place if we would look to the needs of others instead of thinking of ourselves all the time. Put others first, and be conscience of how our actions effect others. I was raised to open doors and stand up and care for others. I didn't mean for this thread to move towards women's lib and all that jazz, just love and respect.

[Goofyernmost]

This has been my thought throughout this thread. I guess I don't expect men to treat women as inferior, just the opposite. They are our equals, but they also deserve our respect and care. I just expect for people to look out for one another. This world would be a kinder, gentler place if we would look to the needs of others instead of thinking of ourselves all the time. Put others first, and be conscience of how our actions effect others. I was raised to open doors and stand up and care for others. I didn't mean for this thread to move towards women's lib and all that jazz, just love and respect.

Whatever courtesy that is gender interchangeable still is practiced to a large degree. This discussion was started because someone thought that men should get up to give their seat to a woman. My question was and response was based on the women's movement. We have been trained to think in the terms of equal. Equal does not mean that certain courtesies are extended based on gender alone. Situations now dictate what "special" things are extended. Very pregnant women, older folks (either gender) and people with disabilities are the usual decisions points. All people, regardless of gender, deserve our respect and care. If you are female and are physically more able then I, the courtesy should be extended toward me, and vise versa!

[hobie16]

Yesterday a male teacher was walking with a student about five feet in front of me. They went through double doors and just let them swing shut behind them. Very rude and incosiderate. That teacher is an a$$hole anyway.

That pisses me off too. When I go through a door I push it open all the way. I look at it a some cheap exercise. If someone is behind me I'll hold it open even if it means waiting a few seconds.

I was walking up to a door behind what turned out to be a snot nose kid. He held the door open for me and said, "Age before beauty."

I walked through the open door and replied, "Pearls before swine."

[Anglefan]

This is why I always drive rather than taking Disney transportation. I don't want to have to worry about whether I'm supposed to stand up for this or that person. Am I more deserving of the seat or are they? Am I being rude by not giving it up? Who do you give up the seat for and how are other people perceiving the decision I'm making?

It's just too much. I want to sit down in the car. I think you should stand up for an elderly person or a parent with a small child. Gender is irrelevant to me.

[WEDFan]

I was walking up to a door behind what turned out to be a snot nose kid. He held the door open for me and said, "Age before beauty."

I walked through the open door and replied, "Pearls before swine."

My reply to that one has always been "Beauty was a horse."

[hobie16]

My reply to that one has always been "Beauty was a horse."

Heh!

[GaTechGal]

All I can add is we're Southern. Manners are not an option. It's instilled in you at such a young age that it's almost involuntary. You don't like my being polite? Tough. But if I offer you my seat and you refuse in a hostile manner, YOU are the one that ends up looking like an ass.