A Coming of Age Story
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 9:24 pm
It happened in the queue for Roger Rabbit, but it might have happened anywhere. She was fifteen, rather pneumatic, and blythly unaware of her blooming femininity as she waited with her family.
Behind me, mostly.
As we came around each turn, something else interesting would present itself, and she would squeeze past me in a way that would have cost me a substantial sum back on South OBT (or had my wife been with me). Not entirely unpleasant, but she kept pushing me into the opposite wall, and I was quite aware that her father was only a few feet away.
After about twenty minutes of this, she pushed back past me once too often, and I turned to face her and her family and gave her "The Talk".
"Miss, I know you feel like a little girl on the inside and that you're all excited about being at Disneyland, but on the outside you're a woman. As a result, if you want to continue to rub your body up against mine, you're going to need a note from my wife, and probably one from your father, as well. While you work on the paperwork, I need to ask you to take a step back. In return, I'll stay close to the people in front of me and do all I can to help the line move quickly. Okay?"
Her father, who looked like he was about to bust a gut laughing, put his arm around her and said, "Mi Hija, we need to talk...." and the bouncy boobies went away.
I'd like to think I was instrumental in bringing that family a little closer to one another, and perhaps a young girl farther away from the sort of trouble that might have ensued had she chosen someone less civil to poke.
Then again, I did wait twenty minutes before I spoke up -- my wife wasn't with me.
Behind me, mostly.
As we came around each turn, something else interesting would present itself, and she would squeeze past me in a way that would have cost me a substantial sum back on South OBT (or had my wife been with me). Not entirely unpleasant, but she kept pushing me into the opposite wall, and I was quite aware that her father was only a few feet away.
After about twenty minutes of this, she pushed back past me once too often, and I turned to face her and her family and gave her "The Talk".
"Miss, I know you feel like a little girl on the inside and that you're all excited about being at Disneyland, but on the outside you're a woman. As a result, if you want to continue to rub your body up against mine, you're going to need a note from my wife, and probably one from your father, as well. While you work on the paperwork, I need to ask you to take a step back. In return, I'll stay close to the people in front of me and do all I can to help the line move quickly. Okay?"
Her father, who looked like he was about to bust a gut laughing, put his arm around her and said, "Mi Hija, we need to talk...." and the bouncy boobies went away.
I'd like to think I was instrumental in bringing that family a little closer to one another, and perhaps a young girl farther away from the sort of trouble that might have ensued had she chosen someone less civil to poke.
Then again, I did wait twenty minutes before I spoke up -- my wife wasn't with me.
