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Was waiting but...here it is.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 1:54 pm
by February
Was waiting till the papers were in hand, but I know it's just a matter of waiting to have them arrive at my lawyer's now. So here's the rest of my news that I've been alluding to.

March filed for divorce last week. I think, on my birthday. That day he was also good enough to run me to the dentist, to take me to get a new crutch, and a couple other places I had to go. Last weekend when I ended up in the ER he still stayed there and waited to bring me home after they were done injecting and poking and scanning me (results inconclusive, but the people at Urgent Care made me go to the hospital in an ambulance- was not my choice.)

The end has been coming for a long time. Years. I actually gave him the option to file first.

Amicable-- and I aim to keep it that way. He's a wonderful person, truly, and I am grateful to him for all he's done for me and the father he's been to our daughter (I say 'our' because he parented her from the age of 2 and never, ever treated her like a 'step'...)

Scary times, my friends, for me. Scary, scary times. I know where I want to end up but with my health there will be issues.

I just really, really hope I will soon know where I'll be living when it's over (for now we're both in the apartment still.) Disability will not take me far enough and I'm not in any condition physically to work. Due to the religious issues, I don't think my parents would let me move in even temporarily (not that it would be ideal but it's a roof, so to speak. They definitely have the room--huge house, several empty bedrooms.)

I wish things had turned out differently. I wish a lot of things. But sometimes, fairytales do end. That's when life begins, I hope. I hope this is a new beginning for both of us, we both really need one.

So that's what's going on. Once my daughter moved out (separate issues entirely as you know) things just couldn't go on the way they were any more. I haven't told her yet. Waiting to get a few things in motion first and for the school year to end.

All hugs welcome...

~bru

Re: Was waiting but...here it is.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 1:58 pm
by Main Streeter
No comforting words for you Bru, except I am very sorry & will think positive for you.

Re: Was waiting but...here it is.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 2:04 pm
by February
Thank you Main Streeter! I am appreciative of all the good thoughts I can get. Not just for me, for March too. This isn't easy for anybody...ever. I've been through this once before...

xoxo
bru

Re: Was waiting but...here it is.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 6:07 pm
by delsdad
Massive HUGS Bru! We are thinking of you ! When you mentioned that you had some big news....this was not the sort of news I thought you meant at all. I'm so sorry.

Re: Was waiting but...here it is.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 7:12 pm
by darph nader
Well this sucks,, :( ,been there though. My first marriage lasted 5yrs,goin on 27 the second time around.
Do keep in touch.

Re: Was waiting but...here it is.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 8:11 pm
by Rosie
{{{{Bru}}}} Sending all the hugs you need. Remember, when one door closes another will open. Your sgt family will always be here for you.

Rosie

Re: Was waiting but...here it is.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:01 pm
by DisneyMom
Had no idea, Bru :(
Wish I could think of something helpful to say, but I am at a loss. I do hope that your Family can do something to help you out, and that March and you can remain helpful to each other and your Daughter. Is there a caseworker you can speak to for more ideas on community resources ( ie:economical place to live)?

PM me anytime :grouphug:

Re: Was waiting but...here it is.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:34 pm
by hobie16
Damn!! That's the last thing I ever thought would happen. You're a tough lady who has been through a lot. Keep looking forward and keep your head up. We're all here for you.

Re: Was waiting but...here it is.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 10:39 pm
by February
I love you guys. Seriously. It was so hard to tell you this! Believe me some of my 'friends' have reacted by immediately disappearing on me (not anybody from SGT and no, I didn't ask them for so much as advice let alone anything else *sigh*) basically they said 'well that sucks, let me know how it all works out after its over!' :(

Disneymom I talked to Soc. Sec. already and I have maxed out my cash benefit- not eligible for anything more (and sadly based on my own work record what I 'earned' is not much). It's sad (though I'm grateful don't get me wrong) if my sight wasn't correctable part of the time, my benefits would be much higher and I'd qualify for all kinds of extra things. Housing subsidies are nearly impossible to get here (so many people want them.) It's frustrating they don't take into account that my sight is only partially useful part of the time and my vision never stops shaking now (it's like life through a camera with no steadicam feature).

Social security's answer was to give me the number for the local county shelter...fortunately it hasn't come to that yet. Like I said, I have hopes that I'll end up somewhere far away from here where I really believe I'll be happy. There's a lot of red tape with it though (will explain more as the process of all this goes on.)I have at least one person in my corner who promises he wouldn't let me end up on the street and March has also said that is 'not an acceptable option'. Like I said, he's a wonderful person.

I am counting my blessings that he's still being so helpful- am trying to be for him too. I spent weeks sorting as my eyes would allow and scanning in old documents to the computer and encrypting them, etc, for both our records that kind of thing. Anything i can do I'm doing.

It's just so overwhelmingly frustrating that I can't go out and get a job like I did when the first marriage ended. It's absolutely maddening. If I could, I'd be planning on a ticket to OIA, applying at Casting and looking for a roommate, for starters.

Time for sleep, but just had to say thanks to everybody for the hugs. Means more than I can say. I promise I'll keep you posted.
xoxo
bru

Re: Was waiting but...here it is.

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 11:03 pm
by Zazu
February wrote:If I could, I'd be planning on a ticket to OIA, applying at Casting and looking for a roommate, for starters.
Once matters are settled, if you do decide to come to Central Florida, I know of bunch of folks who will help you find the right roommate and move you in.

We can also talk to Casting about positions where your sight won't be such a challenge. There are some, especially with your positive attitude.

{{{{Bru}}}} Hand in there, your real friends are still with you.