Stupid Guest Tricks

Since I've been perusing old threads, I've noticed some common themes among the complaints about SG's. And since the Christmas/New Year's break crowd will be hitting the parks soon, I figured anyone who's there - working or visiting - might appreciate a drinking game to get them through those cold, cold SG-riddled FL December days.

(OK, so I'm from the frozen north; let me pretend those FL December days are cold, cold, cold so I'm not so jealous.)
First, the safety and park rules-abiding disclaimers:

*All CM's should keep a list of SG violations during their shifts and must wait until safely home to imbibe.
*Guests may only drink upon sight of SG violations if in a park where alcohol is sold, and must only drink alcohol purchased in said park.
*If there are so many SG's that drinking according to the rules is about to turn a guest into an SG, participating guests should also pause in their libations until back at their hotels.
*And remember, guests, when playing the SG Drinking Game (tm), Disney transportation is your friend! (But the Disney drivers won't be if you SG them with a protein spill. )
*To reduce the chances of alcohol poisoning, if you encounter an SG whose actions would cause you to drink for multiple rules, treat it as one infraction.

And now, on with the show...er...game!
1. If someone asks a CM about the location of an attraction/character...
...and it's in another WDW park, drink once.
...and it's in a non-WDW park, drink twice.
...and it's not on the east coast, drink thrice.
...and it's not in the US, give up now. The SG levels at the park are too
high to play this game safely.

2. If someone argues with/disobeys a CM's orders/polite requests...
...and it's a clearly posted or common sense rule, drink once.
...and it's a safety issue, drink twice.
...and non-life-threatening injury results, drink thrice.
...and calls the CM "rude" or "expletive of choice" for enforcing Disney's
rules, toast the abused CM as you drink.

3. If someone attempts to use a FP...
...and it's before the indicated time, drink once.
...and it's for another date/ride, drink once.
...on an attraction w/out FP, drink thrice.

4. If someone utters any variations of the following phrases to a CM, drink once:
"I'm an AP holder/DVC member, so you have to..."
"I pay your salary, so you have to..."
"I paid $$$ for this trip, so you have to..."
"I'll have your job if you don't..."
"But my (46") child has ridden this (height-restricted) ride x times today!"
"But I came all the way here just for this attraction I couldn't be bothered
to see until 5 min after closing."
"We can't do ______, dear daughter, because this mean lady won't..."

5. If someone attempts to use a GAC...
...to cut the line, drink once.
...with the GAC-holder conspicuously absent, drink twice.

6. If someone asks how to get to another park...
...and insists the monorail goes to DHS, AK, etc., drink once.
...and insists the monorail goes to Universal or similar, drink twice.

7. If someone who claims not to speak English does not follow rules/CM instructions...
...despite clear visual signals, such as hand signals or text-free signs,
drink once.
...and later is heard speaking English, drink twice.

8. If, during a mass exit of a park after parade/fireworks, someone...
...bodily pushes you out of the way to get past, drink once.
...pushes past you with a stroller/ECV-come-battering ram, drink twice
(after all, you need something to dull the pain).


9. If, during a mass exit of a park after parade/fireworks, someone stops dead in his/her tracks...
...right in front of you, drink once.
...aright in front of you along with his/her large group, drink twice.
...politely as far off to the side and out of the way as possible, drain your
glass in shock.


10. Someone attempts to bring a stroller into a posted no-stroller building...
...and thinks that, after a lengthy argument with a CM about rules and
fire codes, he/she will get a different answer from a manager, drink once.
...and complains that wheelchairs/ECV's but not strollers are allowed in,
drink twice.
...and makes a despicable comment about MAW/GKTW kids being allowed
to do whatever they want just because they're "cripples," drain your glass.

11. Someone attempts to cut the line...
...by pretending they're "rejoining their party," drink once.
...by ducking the ropes into the FP lane, drink once.
...and a CM or guest successfully heads him/her off, drink twice and toast
said CM/guest.

Part II

12. While on a ride, if a guest...
...stands up, sticks limbs outside the vehicle, talks on cell phone, disrupts
a CM's spiel, etc. drink once.
(and ignores overt hints/direct requests to stop, drink again.)
...gets out of the vehicle entirely, drink twice.
...somehow causes said ride to go 101, drain your glass (after all, you'll be
stuck there for awhile, and you'll need to drink per this rule for observing
yourself breaking a rule (drinking) on a ride. Remember to wait to be
unloaded properly before promptly returning to your hotel to complete
your drinking per the "leave before you become an SG" disclaimer.)

13. If parents...
...ignore their children breaking park rules/being rude/disruptive, drink
once.
...encourage their children to break park rules/be rude/disruptive, drink
twice.
...force their children to break/help them to...etc., drink thrice.
(and the children rat them out ("But Daddy, my feet are cold! Can I
take the ice cream bars out yet?"), wait ten years and buy said child a
drink.)

14. If someone experiences a temporary distortion of reality...
...and thinks that a real person's job is done by some form of automation,
drink once.
...and thinks that a real person is an audio animatronic, drink twice. Cry
for the fate of mankind.
...and thinks that an audio animatronic is a real person/animal, drink once.
...and thinks that an unmoving statue is a real person/animal, drink twice.
Ditto tears.
...and you recognize the cartoon reference, pass Go and collect $200.

15. If someone is dressed inappropriately for a family theme park...
...and you can see his/her underwear from the top of the shorts/skirt,
drink once.
...and you can see his/her underwear from the bottom of the shorts/skirt,
drink twice.
...and you can see that he/she is not wearing underwear, drink thrice.

16. If someone assaults a CM or other guest...
...get security or 911, idiot. This is not a drinking situation. If, this far into
the game, you expected this to be a drinking rule, it is time to leave the
park in a safe and legal manner. Wait! No! Not yet! Get security first,
then exit the park.

17. If someone uses flash photography on an attraction where flash photography is not allowed...
...don't drink: Alpha units will be dispatched to your location, followed by
an ambulance that will take you to have your stomach pumped.
...and the pictures would actually be better without the flash, drink once
per attraction, NOT per picture or per guest (see previous).
...and the pictures will not come out at all because the flash is bouncing
off glass, drink twice, NOT per picture or per guest (see previous).

18. If you encounter a tour group...
...of cheerleaders practicing their cheers, drink once.
...of Brazilians...um...practicing their cheers, drink once.
...doing something that warrants a PG-13 or higher rating, drain your glass
to scrub your brain clean of that image.
...which is perfectly well-behaved, buy the leader a drink. He/she deserves
it.

19. If someone blames Disney...
...for the weather, drink once.
(and asks for the dome to be put to use/built, drink twice.)
...for other rude guests, drink once.
(and is swearing/yelling during the complaint, drink twice)
...for federal or state laws, drink once.
(and threatens to sue Disney for obeying said law, drink twice.)
...for having closed the one attraction he/she went there to see, drink
once.
(and it was closed as a planned and advertised refurbishment, drink
twice.)
...for an injury sustained on property as a direct result of disobeying park
rules, drink once
(and refused first aid, but is threatening to sue, drink twice.)

20. If you yourself committed any of the above sins...
...make sure you drink accordingly. After all, you saw it happen.
...take an additional penalty drink for hypocrisy. You're supposed to be
mocking SG's, not adding to their ranks!

Why, oh why did I come up with 20 rules, you ask? You would think it would be because there are so many ways to be an SG...but then I could've kept on going, couldn't I? No, I simply have a 20th anniversary Disney commercial song running through my head wherein they sang to 20 and called out "ONE MORE TIME!" I am forever plagued by the mental replay of this commercial...

No, I'm not trying to kill msg board members by alcohol poisoning! Whatever gave you that idea?

Our Poor CMs will be unable to ambulate
Winner needs Hangover Cure in AM

WHOA,,,,too many rules to remember. I'll just have a beer at the top of every hour. And the bottom of the hour too. (don't want to show any favoritism)

How about taking a drink when you encounter someone that makes too many rules?

I am now officially on the list for a liver and kidney transplant after rule 1.

Now, if I was able to drink only when I did not see any of those rules or subrules being violated, I would have been sober and not killed off my organs!

And I thought that this thread was about the "Drink around the World" game so many SGs fail at every hour. BTW, I think Orange County has to build a bigger jail this year...and it is barely December.

Favorite quotes for the Holiday:

• No. I am not Disney, I don't have to be nice! :nyah:
• Empty your bag or I will dump it out on the ground. :crabby:
• Sir, soliciting a pat down like at the airport gets you a special ride :driver:
• Let me put it this way, Son. You came on vacation. You are going home on probation.
• The only person who gets to use my weapon is me. Or my wife on my day off, too bad I'm not married. :bugeyes:

(All these quotes are from this week when I passed by various OCSO units.)

Yeah, I know. I seem to be at the wrong place a lot. But a man in uniform (not costume) is a beacon.
:woody: No, Woody, THAT is a costume! Ask :edna:

mapo

I think I may have posted this before, but here it goes again.

Some of us developed a "Disney Guest Bingo" game. Several of us had a piece of paper with the same items in a grid. The first person to call out an item, got that square first (everyone else had to find another sighting.) First person to fill out their board wins.

It's been a while so I forget most items but these are some of the items I remember:
- Family wearing the same tshirt
- Child afternoon meltdown
- Father meltdown
- Child being forced into attraction
- Mullet
- High heels
etc

David R wrote: It's been a while so I forget most items but these are some of the items I remember:
- Family wearing the same tshirt

Guilty! We do this probably at least once a year, and my mother conceives the idea and buys them all. Usually it's when we have the whole fam damily (including my brothers, their wives, my niece and nephews). Since we don't all live in the Boston area, we're not always together. But this year was my dad's 60th, so there was a special occasion for the "party shirts" :D:

mapo wrote: Favorite quotes for the Holiday:

• No. I am not Disney, I don't have to be nice! :nyah:
• Empty your bag or I will dump it out on the ground. :crabby:
• Sir, soliciting a pat down like at the airport gets you a special ride :driver:
• Let me put it this way, Son. You came on vacation. You are going home on probation.
• The only person who gets to use my weapon is me. Or my wife on my day off, too bad I'm not married. :bugeyes:

Pray tell, where are you hearing those quotes on property? (If you're at liberty to say, of course.) Perhaps I should stay out of those places on my next visit ;) (or, just not be an SG and not have to deal with something like that)

I didn't read the first posts on this thread, way too long, things like that will drive a man to drink. Is there a Darph Notes version?