Stupid Guest Tricks

After high school I signed up for a 14 day bus tour of Europe. This was organized at a community college in a semi rural city in California.

I thought the group would be mostly college age students and I would meet age appropriate people on the tour. It turns out that most of the people on the tour were retired locals.

Anyway, somewhere around day 7 we were in Italy and this senior gentlemen spoke up and stated to everyone on the bus (these are his words):

"Can you believe that we (Americans) spend all our money to come here and these people (Europeans in general) don't bother to learn our language?"

I started to open my mouth to say something, but I realized that anyone making this kind of statement was beyond all logic.

Wow, just... wow.

I like the story about the two Americans standing on the side of the road in Paris when a man in a sports car pulls up beside them and starts speaking to them in French.

When it becomes clear to the driver that neither of them understand him, he tries again: "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" The two shake their heads. "Parlate italiano?" No again. "¿Hablan ustedes español?" Nope.

Frustrated, the man drives away. One American looks at the other and says, "You know, we really should learn a foreign language."

"Why?" the other replies, "That guy knew four of them and it didn't do him any good!" :D:

I was teaching a class in Paris for systems engineers from all over Europe and Africa. After class the first day a guy who was half Dutch, half Indonesian and a young lady from South Africa accompanied me on a walk to the Louvre so I could buy an art book for my oldest daughter. There's a large mall connected to the entrance lobby that has shops and a huge food court.

We decided to eat there so we got food and sat down in a booth. About five minutes later a couple walked by, looked at us and said, "We've been in the countryside for a week. Do you have the latest scores?"

I told them the scores of every major game I could remember and then asked them why they choose us to ask.

The guy replied, "You all look like the only Americans in the whole place."

We didn't know whether to be complimented or insulted.

As a foreign language teacher, it never ceases to amaze me how arrogant Americans are, thinking "everyone should speak English, even in other countries".

Which reminds me of one of my favorite jokes, that I heard on a trip to Spain:

What do you call a person who speaks two languages? Bilingual.
What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual.
What do you call a person who speaks only one language? American.

Many years ago, I lived in Holland for about a year. On day on the street in Amsterdam, some strangers (tourists) asked me for directions, and after guiding them toward their destination, they said "Your English is very good!"
How clueless do you need to be, when you can't even recognize the difference between a native speaker, and someone who has learned (another) language?

What's really fascinating are the exchanges where people are multi-lingual. Returning from a weekend in Germany, I was stopped at the Dutch border, where Passport control asks (auf Deutsch) Your passport, please?
They quickly switch to English when they see my American passport, but the look on their faces was priceless when I answered their questions in Dutch.

@Flotilla: How long did it take you to learn Dutch? Did you know it before you went there? Kudos to you.

If I ever go to a country with a different language, I will either learn the language before going, or going with someone who already does. I think it is silly to expect everyone to speak English just because they are interacting with me. I am also of the opinion that if you come here you should learn(or spend time with someone who can already speak) English. It's the common language that most people speak and nearly 100% of business is conducted in.

Don't they make those little foreign language phrasebooks anymore?

But what use is it to know "My postillion has been struck by lightning" in six different languages?

I know a little bit of Japanese, but just enough to get me in trouble. Usually there is just a lot of pointing at pictures and hand waving. That is the true universal language!