Wierd News
Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 4:15 pm
Local man sick of people bitching about everything
Published on 04/18/04
San Fransisco, CA - A local man was seen recently complaining about how people consistently and constantly bitch about everything.
"It's like, God, shut up already. Everybody has problems!," Dalton Downs was quoted as saying. Downs was also seen shaking his fist angrily at sky, as if to suggest that there were a divine reason for people to complain.
Dalton's live-in girlfriend was not shocked by Dalton's accusations. She told reporters, "That little SOB never shuts up about how much people whine. He seriously needs to get over it and move on with his life."
We spoke to Dalton's mother, who did not wish to have her real name revealed. Mrs. Downs said, "Even as a boy, my son would never quit whining about how much people bitch. It was a filthy thing for a 10-year old to say, but he insisted that such whining must be called 'bitching.'"
Dalton's dog was unavailable for comment.
Dalton Downs is currently an unemployed alcoholic who recently graduated from U.C.L.A. with a B.A. in Philosophy.
Published on 04/18/04
San Fransisco, CA - A local man was seen recently complaining about how people consistently and constantly bitch about everything.
"It's like, God, shut up already. Everybody has problems!," Dalton Downs was quoted as saying. Downs was also seen shaking his fist angrily at sky, as if to suggest that there were a divine reason for people to complain.
Dalton's live-in girlfriend was not shocked by Dalton's accusations. She told reporters, "That little SOB never shuts up about how much people whine. He seriously needs to get over it and move on with his life."
We spoke to Dalton's mother, who did not wish to have her real name revealed. Mrs. Downs said, "Even as a boy, my son would never quit whining about how much people bitch. It was a filthy thing for a 10-year old to say, but he insisted that such whining must be called 'bitching.'"
Dalton's dog was unavailable for comment.
Dalton Downs is currently an unemployed alcoholic who recently graduated from U.C.L.A. with a B.A. in Philosophy.