Ode To My Cold
Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 9:38 pm
I woke up Thursday morning with my head full of you, Cold. I'm not really sure that you're as welcomed as I first thought. Friday was pretty miserable at work,too, and despite the fact that I only worked till noon, it felt like forever. I have you, Cold, to thank for this. When you first showed up on Thursday, I thought it might not be too bad. You made me cough a little, and my sinuses were slightly congested, but my gf felt sorry for me and let me go to bed early. It's not the worst condition I've ever been in, by far, and the extra sleep was cool. I thought it might be ok if you just hung around for a few days then quietly bailed. You've proven me wrong.
Fast forward to Saturday, and my skull feels like it's going to explode soon. I might actually welcome this. My eyeballs are being snot-forced out of their sockets, and are leaking all over my face. I need to blow my nose every two or three minutes, when I'm not sneezing. I've tried several remedies, but none have worked. The temperature fluctuations you have imposed upon me are also nothing short of stupefying. First I'm freezing, then sweltering. You're a multi-faceted Cold, and one I wish I could have avoided. I don't know what else to say.
You are a tenacious one, Cold.
I haven't met a Cold like you in about ten years. You grasp firmly onto the interior of my face like an eighty year-old woman gripping the wheel of a huge, well-maintained 1970's-era Cadillac Fleetwood. You make my eyes run like a crack hooker evading Metro on Fremont Street after midnight. My entire cranium is under more pressure than I could ever imagine. This sucks.
Ok, Cold. You've proven your point. You have the upper hand in controlling my body. Now, go away. Please. And take your gallon (~4 litres) of snot with you. I don't want you living in me anymore.
Also, once this Cold has left, there will be space available in my head (more than usual). A short-term rental or lease will be considered for any non-Cold. Situations vary, so let me know.
Fast forward to Saturday, and my skull feels like it's going to explode soon. I might actually welcome this. My eyeballs are being snot-forced out of their sockets, and are leaking all over my face. I need to blow my nose every two or three minutes, when I'm not sneezing. I've tried several remedies, but none have worked. The temperature fluctuations you have imposed upon me are also nothing short of stupefying. First I'm freezing, then sweltering. You're a multi-faceted Cold, and one I wish I could have avoided. I don't know what else to say.
You are a tenacious one, Cold.
I haven't met a Cold like you in about ten years. You grasp firmly onto the interior of my face like an eighty year-old woman gripping the wheel of a huge, well-maintained 1970's-era Cadillac Fleetwood. You make my eyes run like a crack hooker evading Metro on Fremont Street after midnight. My entire cranium is under more pressure than I could ever imagine. This sucks.
Ok, Cold. You've proven your point. You have the upper hand in controlling my body. Now, go away. Please. And take your gallon (~4 litres) of snot with you. I don't want you living in me anymore.
Also, once this Cold has left, there will be space available in my head (more than usual). A short-term rental or lease will be considered for any non-Cold. Situations vary, so let me know.