What If You Could Tell Off Stupid Guests.....

Max Fischer · Post by **Max Fischer** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 11:17 am

Ok, let's pretend that you are given a bonus 'pass' that will allow you to tell off one annoying guest per month, what would tell them, and why? Don't hold back, you can totally just unload on them, smile and get back to your work without fear of consequences.

Freak · Post by **Freak** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 11:29 am

Time to get out the baseball bat.... :twisted: That way I could slowly thin out the Anal Assholder herd... :twisted:

Dante101 · Post by **Dante101** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 1:07 pm

That would depend on what the annoying guest did to piss me off...

But half the fun of working at Disney is getting back at annoying guests without them realizing it - or saying stuff that make them look foolish in front of the guests around them, but doing it in a way where you won't get in trouble.

It takes some time at first for a new CM to figure these things out, but they soon catch on by watching the more senior CMs that they work with.

And I must clarify - there is a difference between an "annoying guest" and an "a*hole." With an annoying guest, you might just say something briefly; something cutting but safe. Again, that depends on the situation.

For instance, one day at Greeter on Captain Eo, a nice couple came up to me and asked what time the next show was. I told them it was in 12 minutes, and they thanked me and walked away. Right after they walk away, this guy comes running up to me, and gets right in my face, and desperately inquires, "What was that!?!"

Now I was annoyed by his manner - very pushy, demanding, and litterally inches from my face. And a bit nutty, too - he was acting like I just told that couple the meaning of life.

“What was what?” I respond, quite simply. “Umm, are you open?” “Yes, come right in!” “Um, what time is your next show?” “Twelve minutes.” “Oh. Well, where are those people going?” indicating the previous family. “I don’t know,” I answer. For a moment I considered shouting to the family, “Excuse me! Where are you folks going? This man would like to know!”

I knew what the guy wanted to know, but because he annoyed me, I played with him, and left him hanging. To this day, he probably thinks his life would be so much better if only he knew what secret I told that nice young couple that night...

With an a*hole guest, you might want to go further.

For instance, on Star Tours, if you have an a*hole guest, you might purposely put his group in a row that doesn't have enough seats - so when the doors open, they have nowhere to go, and must wait another 5 minutes for the next cabin.

Or if a guest is a real a*hole, and starts using foul language, you can safely go off on him: (loudly and firmly, which catches them off-guard) "Hey! You're going to calm down right now, or I'll call security and have you ejected from the Park! This is a family park and we don't tolerate people using that sort of language around kids! This is private property, and you will follow our rules or leave!"

I've used that line a few times, and the people just go away, muttering to themselves. I got that from watching Security deal with people (before that department was castrated in the mid '90s).

OR:

...you could simply sick Tigger on them!

coffeegirl9 · Post by **coffeegirl9** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 9:00 pm

Dude, talk about opening a can of worms! What WOULDN'T I say! How about 'No, I'm not open, I just sit here for fun!'. Or, 'You know, I didn't think that you could be stupider than you look, but I guess you learn something new every day!' Oh, so many things I wish I could say, this post would be sooo long if I said them all. So I'll just sum up. "Until you treat me with a little respect, and use your brain a little, you can just sit there, because I'm not going to help you. I don't care how shit on you are feeling, you selfish, whiny piece of crap. Go away."

Zazu · Post by **Zazu** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 11:00 pm

Could I save up three months worth of coupons and trade them in on a coupon to tell my supervision what I think?

SpaceRanger · Post by **SpaceRanger** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 5:44 pm

Oh man, what WOULDN'T I say! lol hmm... well, here are some answers I've always wanted to give to stupid questions....

1. How much of a discount can I get with this card?
A: You don't... infact, I charge a fee for you to use it.

2. Where's Michael Jackson
A: In Never Never Land

3. Do you work here?
A: No... I just enjoy dressing like this for the fun of it

4. Where are the bathrooms?
A: In the bushes... Eisner cut the budget again, so we had to shut all of ours down... but feel free to use the bushes...

5. How much is a free cup of water?
A: $50 (actually.... I have said this one before... heh... me and the cashier next to me were cracking up, cuz the guest thought I was serious... unfortunately the lead didn't think it was quite as funny :twisted: )

6. Are you open?
A: Nope... someone locked me in here as punishment

7. Are you real?
A: Nope... None of the CM's here are, it's all cheap animatronics.

8. Do I have to pay to get inside Disneyland?
A: That depends... how good are you at sneaking in?

9. When is the 3 o'clock parade
A1: At 3am
A2: At 2pm

10. How much is it? (without saying what they want)
A: I'm sorry... I had my mind reading knowledge pulled. I'm not authorized to tell you that.

11. Do you take money and stuff?
A: It depends if you have any stuff worth taking

12. Do you give a discount to tourists?
A: No... actually... it will cost you 25% extra

13. Do you sell stuff here?
A: Nope... I only stand here to make sure no one tries to steal this building/cart/register

SpaceRanger · Post by **SpaceRanger** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 5:45 pm

Zazu wrote:Could I save up three months worth of coupons and trade them in on a coupon to tell my supervision what I think?

hmm... not a bad idea...

CujoSR · Post by **CujoSR** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 12:51 am

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goose · Post by **goose** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 11:25 pm

Someone cuts in line:

Oh, just in case you never attended preschool or you're new to this planet: when there are many people waiting for something at the same time we form what is called a "line."

Someone stops me while I'm pushing my cart up a hill:

I'm a bit busy pushing a heavy cart up this hill. Perhaps your very important question could wait a few seconds.

GuyFromTheBigSplashyRide · Post by **GuyFromTheBigSplashyRide** » Wed Nov 12, 2003 5:00 am

When you are standing out front of an attraction during a down time:

guest:"Excuse me, what happened?"
me: "We are currently experiencing operational difficulties. We apologise for this inconvienence and thank you for your patience and cooperation."
guest: "Yeah, yeah... but what really happened?"
me: "As I said before... the ride is currently not running, please try back later."
guest: "Come on, you can tell me what really happened."
me: "...it was an A Lift Sensor Disagreement that caused the ride to time out."
guest:"I KNEW it."
(same guest five minutes later)
guest: "What happened?"
me: "Brer Fox finally caught Brer Rabbit and ate him. This ride will never open again. Go Away."