Help me write the next great book...

Dante101 · Post by **Dante101** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 11:40 am

...will give me a free annual pass to Disneyland."

Evil Lord Eisner was taken back. "Arnold! I'm here to help you! And yet you hold my favorite concubine as a hostage!?!"

"Yes," Arnold coolly stated, "I am stabbing you in the back just like I will do to everyone who voted for me."

A stunned, awkward silence fell upon the room.

"Anyone up for another dead dog sandwich?" Annette offered.

Evil Lord Eisner reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a Disneyland Annual Pass. His mind couldn't fathom giving away something this valuable. Surely Minnie's had a long, productive life. What's the harm if he didn't pay the ransom? Maybe no one will even notice her gone. Mickey surely wouldn't care - neither of them had any sex organs.

Eisner slowly started to hand the pass over to Arnold. The pain of losing money etched deep worry lines into his face. Arnold started drooling, and his evil politician's smile grew larger and larger while his eyes got bigger and bigger. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. Happy sweat. He started to imagine how he could use this pass to annoy all the Disney cast members on a daily basis.

Arnold moved his hand ever so closer to acquiring the annual pass. Just inches more and it would be his.

But then, Annette screamed as...

Freak · Post by **Freak** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 11:45 am

..Captain REX crashed his StarSpeeder 3000 into the house. The vehichle took out half of the room and Arnold. He was suddenly flattened as the monsterous starship slammed him over. The starship continued destroying things as it finally jarred to a halt. Eisner was stunned when this happened. He quickly pocketed the DLR AP and started for the door. But just then REX called out, "Not so fast Eisner..."

Dante101 · Post by **Dante101** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 12:01 pm

...I've got a bone to pick with you!"

Eisner issued a fake smile. "Hi Rex! It's so good to see you! How are..."

"Enough of your insincerity," Rex interrupted. "I've had it from you! I'm not going to be your stooge anymore!"

Eisner's fake smile betrayed a slight nervousness. "Whatever do you mean, Rex? I'm a big fan of your..."

"Silence," Rex roared. "You've been paying me to spy on your cast members for over 15 years now! Some of them are getting wise. I'm getting nervous."

"I really don't know what you're talking about, ol' Rexy."

"Don't 'ol Rexy' me, you skinflint! This is where it ends," Rex stated, pulling out a large laser pistol and pointing it at Eisner.

All seemed hopeless, but the laser pistol misfired, and instead of killing Eisner, it...

Weeble · Post by **Weeble** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:55 pm

struck Hooter, the blue elephantine elephant from Captain Eo's crew right in the nachos! With a soprano yelp he called out for the only person that could restore sanity to this mad, mad world.

"CAPTAIN EOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Hooter honked.

*bass line plays* Dadum dum dum da dum, dadum dum dum da dum...

Dante101 · Post by **Dante101** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 4:08 pm

Evil Lord Eisner approached Hooter and pressed the "off" key on his boom box - shutting off that infernal Michael Jackson bass riff.

"Hooter, you know Captain Eo is in jail, serving time for lewd behavior!"

Hooter snorted. "Gimme a break here, I'm dying," he managed to say as the blood leaked out.

"Waste not, want not," said Annette as she closed in on Hooter with a knife and fork.

"Has everyone forgotten about me?" asked Arnold.

"I haven't," a strange sounding voice said from a dark corner.

"Oh my God! It's...

Freak · Post by **Freak** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 4:30 pm

...Ariana Huffington! The biznatch that wanted Arnold dead during the elections. "You screwed me out of office Arnold, prepare to die!"
She lunged at him with a giant...

Dante101 · Post by **Dante101** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 5:54 pm

...featherduster, which did absolutely no good at all. Arnold reached over and twisted her head right off her body. Score one for Arnold! But then, foolishly, Arnold ate the Huffington head, and prompty choked to death.

"There go my secret government deals," cried Evil Lord Eisner, who had a heart attack and died on the spot.

"Try a bit from my rump," a slowly dying Hooter suggested to Annette, still muching away at the hefty Eo boy toy.

All the remaining guards and soldiers and stormtroopers and television evangelists laughed and laughed... and then suddenly dropped dead from some sort of thing...

Annette was left all alone. And found herself suddenly surrounded by quite a yummy smorgasborg of dead corpses!

But then she remembered something...

tourbunny · Post by **tourbunny** » Sat Oct 11, 2003 9:17 pm

... she hadn't polished the silver in so long that it was all yucky. what was she gonna eat all the corpses with? finger food wasn't her thing at all ever since she went out on a date with franky that one hot sommernight in longbeach and franky was just gonna lick off the rest of the bbq sauce when he got startled by annette suddenly groping his crotch so he accidentally bit a part of her middle finger off.
since cameras were rolling, it was considered an on-the-job-injury and it took only 2 weeks for medicare to kick in and give her a prostetic finger.
since evil lord eisner never cares about his employees, he did not know about it and fired her on the spot for coming into the office the next day and showing off her new finger, which he totally mistook as a lude gesture.
ever since then she's been out of work and now her boyfriend is dead the dog can't lick her anymore and on top of that she had to find out that arnold tasts like that strange...

CujoSR · Post by **CujoSR** » Sat Oct 18, 2003 3:09 am

... That Strange odor? It smelled like purfume. She turned only to see her arch nemisis, Cynthia Harris Standing at her doorway.

"So it seems I quit, although I never wrote that letter of resignation. I need to find out who worte that letter and get my job back. I need your help. Annette, I know you don't think the best of me right now, but look I brought you silverware so you may enjoy your fresh Arnold. Can you forgive me? Can you help me?"

Annette could only give one answer...

Freak · Post by **Freak** » Mon Oct 20, 2003 12:10 am

"...You must give all three copies of Ultimate Ride." Cynthia couldn't believe it. She wanted not just Ultimate Ride, but Coaster Deluxe AND the coveted Disney Coaster. Cynthia reached into her trenchcoat and took three CDs out. "Come and get them Annette." Annette replied, "You mean Annettes."

Suddenly a dozen copies of Annette came out from the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and living room...Cythina couldn't believe her eyes. She threw the three CD's onto the coffee table and jumped up into the air as the Annettes rushed her head on. Cynthia ran up the wall and backflipped onto the couch. Cynthia pulled out her Desert Eagle Magnum and started firing away. One of the Annettes leaned back as the bullets flew right over her torso. The Annette then jumped up into the air and kicked Cynthia into a...