Castmembers and lightbulbs

[Driver_dylan]

Lately, I have been somewhat board so I thought I would post some of the things that I had on my old Myspace blog. I thought these were funny and were not ment to offend. I incurrage you to add more if you can think of them.

Cast Members Vs. Light Bulbs

How many CM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to change the bulb, one to supervise, and one to take the credit.

How many Monorail Drivers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but this cast member does not have the proficencies to preform this job.

How many Managers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer unknown. When the lights go out, management dissappears.

How many SODL techs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but it takes over eight months.

How many Maintnence Cast Members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but it takes one week and at least five work orders.

How many Attractions people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five, but the repair can't be accually thought of as complete.

How many CP's does it take to screw in a light bulb.
Answer unknown, there has never been enough of them in a room to find out.

[darph nader]

Pretty Good.A good one from our mailman,"Why is there only one seat in a mail truck?...So the mailman knows where to sit".

[Mikey]

At a different park somewhere far far away.... It takes hundreds of CM's to change that bulb. It requires:

At least 4 front line CM's to notice the bulb is out but not to bother telling anyone... yet they all must complain that nothing is ever fixed.

At least four more CM's to notice but don't tell anyone because they don't speak English, have no idea who their supervisor is, or they presume the light is supposed to be out.

A supervisor to notice it, but since he is responsible for ten building locations he recalls the wrong location and puts in a work order. A week later he notices it again and puts in the work order, this time for the right location.

A manager to approve the work order but he is covering the jobs of three vacant positions, so he cannot get to it for a week.

A secretary to assist since the manager cannot remember his password to the maintenance system so she actually approves the work order.

A maintenance scheduler to receive the approved order and forward it to the electricians.

An electrician to go to the location and confirm that the light is indeed out. He must also insure that the light switch is indeed in the ON position. He makes a second trip two days later to write down what kind of bulb is needed.

Success? Not quite...

The electrician notes that they were required to dispose of their ladders prior to a visit from corporate officials a week before because the ladders were "used" in appearance.

>>> Insert a delay while a similar process is followed to order new ladders

Once the ladder arrives the electricians are again on the spot. Since the work order system and the supplies system do not talk to each other, no one knew that all light bulbs had been used.

A old-timer store room manager is needed to fetch his scribbled notes binder which is about to fall apart to announce that he hates the computer systems, and has hidden a cardboard box of bulbs on shelf three row 12 position 30 marked as "toggle bolts".

Victory? Not quite. Meanwhile....

Someone in Accounting is needed to have been reading the electrical bills and decree that waste is growing, thus all 100 watt bulbs will have to be replaced with 60 watt bulbs. That savings will look good on their weekly report to prove they were proactive and actually did something.

>>> Insert a delay while a similar process is followed to order new bulbs and 100 watt bulbs go into the dumpster

Environmental is needed to notice the accountants decision and decide that even more should be saved by using fluorescent bulbs of even lower wattage which also makes them look more proactive and efficient. Once they bribe Marketing with promises of a new "green" campaign mentioning 'carbon footprint' and global warming' buzzwords, Marketing is on board! Thats also settles and old score with accounting over denied expense reports. Marketing is needed to print 100,000 handout cards on killed tree paper about the energy being saved, all of which go to the landfill because no one noticed a spelling error. Print another 100,000 cards. Have them overnighted in on a fuel wasting exhaust producing jet plane to sit in the closet for months.

>>> Insert a delay while a similar process is followed to order new bulbs and new 60 watt bulbs go into the dumpster

Finally the electrician is able to install the bulb.

A custodian is needed to wax the floor just before the electrician arrives, delaying him one more day.

A second electrician is required for safety in case the first one falls off of the ladder and to ask "are you sure its supposed to be wired this way?"

Last, a Vice President is needed to wander through the building and note that the lights are looking dated and the entire location needs to be dismantled and all fixtures replaced.

>>> The new bulbs and fixtures go into the dumpster.

I am sure i have left out dozens of steps.
Mikey

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

You forgot that OSHA shows up after all that and says that you need a 100 watt bulb for safety, as that will cast the minimum amount of light needed for that location!!!

[Big Wallaby]

>>>> Insert all the previous delays.

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

AND begin again!!!!

[Kwahati]

Wow...I love it! But it's kinda making me feel like an a$$hole because I just had to call a guy and say "Yes, we know this needs to be done, but we need [specific person's name here] to send an email to [specific email address here] telling us it needs to be done before we will be able to do it." ...not quite as many steps, but still... Yay, bureaucracy! :D:

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Until you work for the Government, you have no idea!!!!

[Kwahati]

Until you work for the Government, you have no idea!!!!

Um...I do work for the gub'ment...and I do have an idea... :(

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Um...I do work for the gub'ment...and I do have an idea... :(

me too, about 35 years now!!