The Wit and Wisdom of Anne Robinson
Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 2:49 pm
Anne Robinson is the host of The Weakest Link, which is still playing in the UK. I just love listening to her withering insults, so I decided to steal from the Weakest Link BBC website and post some of the ones we can use here. May they spark your imagination for further use when needed... or you can steal them yourself. One of two things will happen at that point: You will sound extremely quick-witted, or they will be from the UK and have watched the show. All of these are off the Quote Generator found at http://www.bbc.co.uk/weakestlink/about_show.shtml
Perhaps the show should be called the MISSING Link.
Who's a couple of violins short of an orchestra?
Who is allergic to intelligence?
When you said you were good at literature, you read the question wrongly didn't you?
You know the ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
It's very scary hearing you speak.
Who here makes Goofy look like a Harvard graduate?
Who here puts the ‘S’ in Stupid?; who here puts the ‘S’ in Intelligence?
Who has left their handbrake on?
Whose IQ and shoe size are the same number?
Who here would benefit from a lobotomy?
Who is three pence short of a shilling?
Ditch the dumbo.
Dump the chump.
Who is dazzled by the lights?
Who at this early stage is already suffering from a lack of brain power?
Who's away with the faires?
The mind was willing but the brain was weak.
Did you buy your memory at the local supermarket?
Your lift doesn't seem to reach the top floor.
Your lift goes up and doesn't stop.
Any round would not be complete without an incorrect answer from you.
Who proves qualifications mean nothing when it comes to answering general knowledge questions?
Whose headlights are constantly on dim?
Who is as slow as a very, very, very tired snail?
Whose mental power is experiencing rolling blackouts?
Who is as sharp as a pear?
Who here is as sharp as ice cream?
Who's as sharp as a jelly?
Who's more scrag end than sirloin?
Who's as much use as a vegan in an abattoir?
Who's as much use as a nun in a brothel?
Who'd get shipwrecked in a rock pool?
If time is money - who needs to turn the clocks back?
Who's as smart as a milkshake without milk?
Who's a plate short of dinner service?
Who's not singing from the same song sheet?
Who's the ladder in your stocking?
Who's the red sock in your white wash?
Who has the intellect of a flea?
Who is as useful as a ballerina in a rugby scrum?
Who is as useful as a bird with vertigo?
Who is as useful as an ashtray on a bicycle?
Who's as useless as an astronaut in a coal mine?
Whose mouth is in gear, but their brain is in neutral?
Who's got varicose brains?
Whose head is full of bubble wrap?
Who would come third in a duel?
If ignorance is bliss - who here must be very happy?
Which egg-head is hard-boiled?
Who has fallen out of the Tree of Knowledge?
Who's booked a ride on the silly bus?
Who's the donkey in the Grand National?
Who is as much use as a chocolate saucepan?
Who is as much use as a paper tent?
Who's as much use as a kite with no string?
Which of you is as useful as a hand-brake on a canoe?
Who is ready, willing, but totally unable?
Whose lot is very, very vacant?
Who is falling over their feet?
Whose brainstorm is merely a light shower?
Who is little short of useless?
Who is as much use as a toothless vampire?
Who should shut up and use super glue?
Whose absence would not make the heart grow fonder?
Whose eggs are cracked?
Who would be out of their depth in a paddling pool?
Who should give up, go on holiday and not come back, ever?
Which of you was a plank of wood in a previous life?
Who's flapping like a fish in oil?
Whose mouth is not connected to their brain?
Whose mouth and brain are getting divorced?
Whose recipe for success has gone lumpy?
Who literally has no marbles to lose?
Who is all milk and no cornflakes?
Whose windmill just is not turning?
Who forgot to wind up their brain this morning?
Who has the wit of a twit?
Who's as quick as a tortoise on prozac?
Who's got more cheek than a nudist camp?
Who's as useless as a stripper in a nudist resort?
Whose intelligence is their best kept secret?
Who's more Frankenstein than Einstein?
Who'd have a problem counting their legs?
Who'd get splinters if they scratched their head?
Who's the diva of the dipsticks?
You make falling off a tower block look easy.
The light is on but it's about to blow a fuse.
Some people pretend to be smarter than they are, but I see you wouldn't know how to pretend.
Having a brain doesn't mean you use it.
Whose head was not put on at all?
You have to be thicker than custard to say some of the things you did.
Who's begun to look beyond the point of no return?
Don't smile. You might confuse yourself.
Who's quicker than a lump of lead?
Who has one eye missing and thinks they have double vision?
Who beleives in bungee jumpign without the rope?
An ape would be more clever.
Who thinks India is in Europe?
Which of you goes to the optician with a broken toe?
So you're a Manager? Your staff will follow you anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity, probably.
I don't think you should be allowed to breed.
Who here is the dog muck under the leather sandal?
You are really not so much of a has-been, but more like a definitely won't be.
When you open your mouth, it seems it's only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
You would be out of your depth in a parking lot puddle.
If you were smarter you'd be considered dumb.
You seem to set low personal standards and then consistently fail to meet them.
Who here defies Darwin's theory?
Who is the mountie who forgot his horse?
Who got their axe stuck in the Tree of Stupidity?
Whose dipstick doesn't touch the oil?
Who has been diagnosed with terminal ignorance?
If brains were taxed, who would get a refund?
There were some others, but they were ones I've heard other places.
Apparently, the person who did the list for the website didn't have a full grasp of spelling and grammar. I fixed most places, but there are probably (for ISC: probly) some grammatical and spelling errors I missed.
Perhaps the show should be called the MISSING Link.
Who's a couple of violins short of an orchestra?
Who is allergic to intelligence?
When you said you were good at literature, you read the question wrongly didn't you?
You know the ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
It's very scary hearing you speak.
Who here makes Goofy look like a Harvard graduate?
Who here puts the ‘S’ in Stupid?; who here puts the ‘S’ in Intelligence?
Who has left their handbrake on?
Whose IQ and shoe size are the same number?
Who here would benefit from a lobotomy?
Who is three pence short of a shilling?
Ditch the dumbo.
Dump the chump.
Who is dazzled by the lights?
Who at this early stage is already suffering from a lack of brain power?
Who's away with the faires?
The mind was willing but the brain was weak.
Did you buy your memory at the local supermarket?
Your lift doesn't seem to reach the top floor.
Your lift goes up and doesn't stop.
Any round would not be complete without an incorrect answer from you.
Who proves qualifications mean nothing when it comes to answering general knowledge questions?
Whose headlights are constantly on dim?
Who is as slow as a very, very, very tired snail?
Whose mental power is experiencing rolling blackouts?
Who is as sharp as a pear?
Who here is as sharp as ice cream?
Who's as sharp as a jelly?
Who's more scrag end than sirloin?
Who's as much use as a vegan in an abattoir?
Who's as much use as a nun in a brothel?
Who'd get shipwrecked in a rock pool?
If time is money - who needs to turn the clocks back?
Who's as smart as a milkshake without milk?
Who's a plate short of dinner service?
Who's not singing from the same song sheet?
Who's the ladder in your stocking?
Who's the red sock in your white wash?
Who has the intellect of a flea?
Who is as useful as a ballerina in a rugby scrum?
Who is as useful as a bird with vertigo?
Who is as useful as an ashtray on a bicycle?
Who's as useless as an astronaut in a coal mine?
Whose mouth is in gear, but their brain is in neutral?
Who's got varicose brains?
Whose head is full of bubble wrap?
Who would come third in a duel?
If ignorance is bliss - who here must be very happy?
Which egg-head is hard-boiled?
Who has fallen out of the Tree of Knowledge?
Who's booked a ride on the silly bus?
Who's the donkey in the Grand National?
Who is as much use as a chocolate saucepan?
Who is as much use as a paper tent?
Who's as much use as a kite with no string?
Which of you is as useful as a hand-brake on a canoe?
Who is ready, willing, but totally unable?
Whose lot is very, very vacant?
Who is falling over their feet?
Whose brainstorm is merely a light shower?
Who is little short of useless?
Who is as much use as a toothless vampire?
Who should shut up and use super glue?
Whose absence would not make the heart grow fonder?
Whose eggs are cracked?
Who would be out of their depth in a paddling pool?
Who should give up, go on holiday and not come back, ever?
Which of you was a plank of wood in a previous life?
Who's flapping like a fish in oil?
Whose mouth is not connected to their brain?
Whose mouth and brain are getting divorced?
Whose recipe for success has gone lumpy?
Who literally has no marbles to lose?
Who is all milk and no cornflakes?
Whose windmill just is not turning?
Who forgot to wind up their brain this morning?
Who has the wit of a twit?
Who's as quick as a tortoise on prozac?
Who's got more cheek than a nudist camp?
Who's as useless as a stripper in a nudist resort?
Whose intelligence is their best kept secret?
Who's more Frankenstein than Einstein?
Who'd have a problem counting their legs?
Who'd get splinters if they scratched their head?
Who's the diva of the dipsticks?
You make falling off a tower block look easy.
The light is on but it's about to blow a fuse.
Some people pretend to be smarter than they are, but I see you wouldn't know how to pretend.
Having a brain doesn't mean you use it.
Whose head was not put on at all?
You have to be thicker than custard to say some of the things you did.
Who's begun to look beyond the point of no return?
Don't smile. You might confuse yourself.
Who's quicker than a lump of lead?
Who has one eye missing and thinks they have double vision?
Who beleives in bungee jumpign without the rope?
An ape would be more clever.
Who thinks India is in Europe?
Which of you goes to the optician with a broken toe?
So you're a Manager? Your staff will follow you anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity, probably.
I don't think you should be allowed to breed.
Who here is the dog muck under the leather sandal?
You are really not so much of a has-been, but more like a definitely won't be.
When you open your mouth, it seems it's only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
You would be out of your depth in a parking lot puddle.
If you were smarter you'd be considered dumb.
You seem to set low personal standards and then consistently fail to meet them.
Who here defies Darwin's theory?
Who is the mountie who forgot his horse?
Who got their axe stuck in the Tree of Stupidity?
Whose dipstick doesn't touch the oil?
Who has been diagnosed with terminal ignorance?
If brains were taxed, who would get a refund?
There were some others, but they were ones I've heard other places.
Apparently, the person who did the list for the website didn't have a full grasp of spelling and grammar. I fixed most places, but there are probably (for ISC: probly) some grammatical and spelling errors I missed.