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True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 3:04 pm
by Cheshire Figment
Are you tired of those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card--just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask?; “Because you are my friend”.

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to “all 10” of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me...I don't want to hear it!!!) And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me.

Re: True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 4:28 pm
by BRWombat
I love it!!! (Although I'm pretty sure Hallmark won't be beating a path to your door looking to hire you! :rolleyes: )

Re: True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 4:29 pm
by Syndrome
Shoebox, maybe....

I can picture that as a Maxine card.

Re: True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 4:40 pm
by mechurchlady
Definitely a Shoebox Maxine card. That is how I feel. Great find, thanks for the laughs.

Re: True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 9:25 pm
by darph nader
#6 is all wrong
"When you are confused,I'll use BIGGER words to 'totally' confuse you". :twisted:
Now a 'true' best friend,will steal yuor girlfriend,but 'won't' take your last cigarette. :cool:

Re: True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 5:35 am
by leftcoaster
darph nader wrote:#6 is all wrong
"When you are confused,I'll use BIGGER words to 'totally' confuse you". :twisted:
Now a 'true' best friend,will steal yuor girlfriend,but 'won't' take your last cigarette. :cool:
Or your last beer. Right Darph?

Re: True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 11:36 am
by Purpura
A friend will help you get rid of the bodies. A true friend will help you hide the bodies and not ask questions.

Re: True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 10:07 pm
by Cranbiz
leftcoaster wrote:Or your last beer. Right Darph?

Left, you beat me to it. :D:

Re: True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 10:17 pm
by darph nader
leftcoaster wrote:Or your last beer. Right Darph?
A friend would'nt,but my son would. :mad: (little shit)

Re: True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 10:48 pm
by mechurchlady
darph nader wrote:A friend would'nt,but my son would. :mad: (little shit)
Takes after his dad?