Throw Baby From the Train
Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2003 8:15 pm
I don't know what it is about August, but it seems to be the month for tossing babies off the train. :shock:
First was the family at Toontown. I tried to get on the rear platform only to discover the entry was stacked with strollers. "Sorry folks, you have to take the strollers on the seats with you or I can't get on and the train can't go!"
Much fussing, confusion, Spanish obscenities, and even a little stroller moving later, I heard The Scream. You know the one, the one that means something Really Bad may have happened?
I ran around the end of the train to find a 2-year-old sitting on the grass next to the track. So far, none of the adults had noticed. I picked her up, she reached out toward one of the women, and I passed her back. She shut up almost immediately, so I assumed no harm was done.
By the time I got back to the platform, the child's fall had somehow become my fault. Excuse me?
"If you'd like to file a complaint, just step off the train and I'll call for a manager. Shouldn't take more than an hour or so." Yup, works every time. Not worth the time to bitch, especially as the kid's not hurt.
Next time was at Main Street Station during a driving rain storm. It was a double!
A passenger in the first car picked up his 3-year-old, hung her out the side of the train, and dropped her on the platform as soon as he could. Mind you, the train is still moving at about 10mph at this point. I got on the microphone and asked, "Please don't throw your children off the train!"
Didn't work. He tossed his 4-year-old the same way in the middle of the platform. Fortunately, both kids landed on their feet, which is more than I could do with a wet plaftorm.
Himself waited until the train had slowed to about 2mph before jumping, and he nearly did take a header on the concrete. Ah, so close to justice, but not quite! :twisted:
Today is was just a single who bailed out half way into Main Street. Slid on the wet tile, but again failed to fall and crack his (obviosly very thick) skull. "Well folks," I intoned when the train did stop, "We all know there is only one Mickey Mouse, but it looks like there's more than one Goofy!"
Even my manager laughed at that one.
Why can't I ever be there when they really hurt themselves? Just once I'd like to see the evil-doers get their due.
First was the family at Toontown. I tried to get on the rear platform only to discover the entry was stacked with strollers. "Sorry folks, you have to take the strollers on the seats with you or I can't get on and the train can't go!"
Much fussing, confusion, Spanish obscenities, and even a little stroller moving later, I heard The Scream. You know the one, the one that means something Really Bad may have happened?
I ran around the end of the train to find a 2-year-old sitting on the grass next to the track. So far, none of the adults had noticed. I picked her up, she reached out toward one of the women, and I passed her back. She shut up almost immediately, so I assumed no harm was done.
By the time I got back to the platform, the child's fall had somehow become my fault. Excuse me?
"If you'd like to file a complaint, just step off the train and I'll call for a manager. Shouldn't take more than an hour or so." Yup, works every time. Not worth the time to bitch, especially as the kid's not hurt.
Next time was at Main Street Station during a driving rain storm. It was a double!
A passenger in the first car picked up his 3-year-old, hung her out the side of the train, and dropped her on the platform as soon as he could. Mind you, the train is still moving at about 10mph at this point. I got on the microphone and asked, "Please don't throw your children off the train!"
Didn't work. He tossed his 4-year-old the same way in the middle of the platform. Fortunately, both kids landed on their feet, which is more than I could do with a wet plaftorm.
Himself waited until the train had slowed to about 2mph before jumping, and he nearly did take a header on the concrete. Ah, so close to justice, but not quite! :twisted:
Today is was just a single who bailed out half way into Main Street. Slid on the wet tile, but again failed to fall and crack his (obviosly very thick) skull. "Well folks," I intoned when the train did stop, "We all know there is only one Mickey Mouse, but it looks like there's more than one Goofy!"
Even my manager laughed at that one.
Why can't I ever be there when they really hurt themselves? Just once I'd like to see the evil-doers get their due.