Stupid Guest Tricks

These are my best Stupid Customer Tricks:

While working tech support for a cell phone company:

SG-I can't make any calls from my phone. I used to be able to but now I can't.
ME-Is the phone fully charged?
SG-yes
ME-is the phone turned on?
SG-Yes
ME- can you power the phone off and then back on?
SG-yes but I will have to hang up with you.
ME-Why?
SG-Because I'm on the phone
ME-


SG-The screen on my phone is blank and I can't see anything on it
ME-Is the phone turned on?
SG-Yes
ME-try pressing a button any button
SG-Oh there it goes
ME-


SG-I just bought this phone today and I can't make any calls or do anything with the phone
ME-is the phone fully charged?
SG-yes I charged it for a couple of hours
ME-try to power the phone off and then back on
SG-How do I do that?
ME-push and hold down the red button
SG-Ohh!! It just came on......Now it's working
ME-

That's why you get paid the BIG bucks. :D:

I think Crystal works for Verizon & I've spoken with her. Sorry Crystal. ;)

It is everywhere. Example (this happens all the time):

Person: "Your IP is attacking me with ICMP type 3!!!"

Me: "Yes, that is a router, it is only doing it's job, you probably want to block ICMP type 0 and 8, the other stuff is usually good traffic."

Person: "Are you sure???"

Me: "Yes."

Person: "We'll try it."

later...

Person: "You can close your ticket, we're no longer getting the ICMP type 3."

Me: "Allowing ICMP type 3 through?"

Person: "Yes, we also found $host was trying to reach $IP which is not reachable."

Me: "Yeah, that's what our router was trying to tell you..."

We call them GWF, Goober with Firewall.

:hysteria: laughing at the BIG bucks comment.

I worked for T-Mobile actually but for some reason I talked to Cingular customers, Sprint dealers, and verizon customer service reps.

SG-"What do you mean you can't find my account. I've been a Cingular customer for over a year now?"
ME-Uh this is T-Mobile customer care.

I would think that the "Thank you for calling T-Mobile" greeting would have been a big tip off.

A friend of mine that works at subway has people come in all the time.

Sandwich Artist: six inch or footlong?
Stupid Customer: What's the difference?
SA: about 6 inches...
SC: oh.
SA:

I was stuck behind a family of 12 first timers to a subway. Longest wait for a sandwich ever :mad:

bpgstudios wrote:Sandwich Artist

I get this term but have never heard it used. Made me :D: . Can't say SGT site isn't educational. ;)

Give 'em a cool title and pay minimum wage.

Assistant Manager = no overtime pay.

ktulu wrote:...

We call them GWF, Goober with Firewall.

I'm still a big fan of PEBCAK (Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard). :D:

BRWombat wrote:I'm still a big fan of PEBCAK (Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard). :D:

Loose nut behind the keyboard and the ever popular, ID-10-T