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CM accessory wish list
Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 5:19 am
by polarboi
So I was dreaming up a wish list for items CMs could carry around to make life at the parks much better.
What if one day the cast portal had an announcement like this?
Beginning this week, all cast members will be issued the following items to better serve our guests. Please keep these items on you at all times while on stage.
- duct tape - For dealing with those SGs who insist on talking during spiels, preshows, and CM instructions.
- eye charts - To administer eye tests to SGs who ask questions that are clearly answered by large signs in the immediate vicinity and/or the maps in their hands. Ex: "Is this attraction closed?" Visually impaired guests have every reason to ask such questions. Other guests may need further testing. Mickey will be teaching literacy classes throughout the day as necessary.
- pixie dust - For administration in heavy doses to SGs who are unable to grasp the magic and insist on discerning some other explanation for how things work. Note: When administering pixie dust, please try not to get too much in the guest's eyes, as it does tend to burn and might send them running for the exit (which they probably won't be able to locate.) But hey, if it happens, it happens.
- light saber - Courtesy of Star Wars Weekends. Use as necessary to deal with roller-sneakers, pom-poms, cell phones, and runaway strollers. Please try not to decapitate guests.
- cattle prod - For use only in attractions requiring guests to move to the end of the row.
- special SG-edition Pal Mickey - This limited edition Pal Mickey has been programmed with the following phrases: "It's not our FastPass time yet," "Let's wait for a few minutes until [character name] returns," and "Magic Kingdom. Say it with me: Magic Kingdom."
We hope these items will help you and all our guests have a truly magical experience in the parks today. :D:
-p.b.
Re: CM accessory wish list
Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 2:25 pm
by DLRFantasmic!Dan
- Tasers - for use during guest control in the walkways to get the guests moving.
- Electrified ropes and chains - To prevent guests from crossing the ropes and chains.
- Ear plugs - To block out the bitchin' and complainin'.
Re: CM accessory wish list
Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:23 pm
by BirdMom
Bull Horn To repeat a question of interest to EVERYONE in the vicinity, as well as state the correct answer one time and one time only (rather than having to repeat for the 50th time, "yes the ride is down, no we don't know when we'll be back up again" to the idiot standing 18" from the 49th idiot who asked you the same question).
Re: CM accessory wish list
Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:40 pm
by darph nader
A HAMMER IN THE BOX.Some SG asks a S? "Look over here" WHAM!!! :twisted:
(a 6 pack on ice,for darph,if he ever gets his old fanny over there)
Hey,a guy can dream can't he?
Re: CM accessory wish list
Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 11:19 pm
by joanna71985
A 6-foot pole to push people all the way down the rows when they ignore the CM asking them to.
Re: CM accessory wish list
Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 3:35 am
by BirdMom
A co-operative poltergeist to invisibly bitch slap the guests who won't co-operate.
:twisted:
Re: CM accessory wish list
Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 5:35 am
by mechurchlady
ECVs, scooters and strollers that automatically stop before hitting or damaging people and objects.
White noise box to block out chattering people during CM spiels and shows.
Electronic device that makes all Cell phones and pagers useless unless you are a CM or paramedic on duty.
Trash magnet to stick on the butts of guests who leave trash in rides and shows as well as all over the park. See them litter and pop a small magnet attached to their clothes, dart gun would work. Next time they litter they would have the trash zoom back to them and stick to them.
Re: CM accessory wish list
Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 9:07 am
by Driver_dylan
Beer/ hard liquor : To combat the SG's who after all other means fail, still have to ask you why your attraction is closed.
Re: CM accessory wish list
Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:43 pm
by Stitch _Lover_Sith
A how To Book on Strollers So that when a SG locks them we can just take them apart then put them back together as far from the oringinal location as you can get. It might make more guest relations headaches.
Re: CM accessory wish list
Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 3:15 am
by LittleDollClaudia
a tape recorder: to play those comments that CM's get asked every 5 minutes so as not to lose their voices or sanity.
"Yes, the bathroom is right over there."
"This attraction is in this direction."
"The fireworks are at _____."
"The parade is at ______."
"Yes, the churros are $3.00."
"Yes, I do work here."
etc. ...
Specialized to the CM's location.