Stupid Guest Tricks

OK. After finally reaching my breaking point at GMR (So you can only imagine what the hell has been going on), I've decided to make a list of rules that will be strictly enforced at GMR (In my little world).

1. It's a Ride, Deal with it or get the F out!

2. There's no times, it's a ride, ask again and the gerbils will escort you out of the park.

3. Food is not allowed inside, DON'T SULK that you spent ten bucks on food around the corner knowing you wouldn't be able to finish it.

4. Damn it, ask if that's the real wait time again, and I'll see to it that you're put in front of a gangster shot.

5. Do I look like a f'n time clock? I don't know if that is the EXACT wait time dumbass, SO DON'T ASK!

6. It's A Ride! Pay attention to the name of the ride dumbass!

7. It's A ride!

8. It's A Ride!

9. It's A Ride!

10. DO NOT REMOVE THE ROPES! They were put there for a reason. If yu remove them, I will not tell you that you screwed up and you've lost your place in line (I seriously do this)

11. Don't yell at me because YOU decided to screw up and lose your place in line.

12. "We'll get you in on the next show" Means just that. AND, it's a courtesy so you'll have more time to get on the vehicle!

13. No Flash photos!

14. NO FLASH PHOTOS!

15. Take Flash Photos and you'll see how magical this ride is when it E-Stops and your camera is thrown from the vehicle!

16. Oh sure, attempt to take the character's gun, but you won't live to tell the tale!

17. STAY SEATED.

18. The Microphone is not there for YOUR use, DON'T TOUCH IT!

19. It's Mary Poppins you idiot, not cinderella! (Yes, it happened)

20. At the end of our shows, CLAP GOD DAMN IT! I DON'T CARE HOW BORING YOU THOUGHT IT WAS, TOUR GUIDES JUST SPENT TWENTY MINUTES BUSTING THEIR ASS OUT THERE, CLAP YOU ***HOLES!

OK, what's your attractions rules?

Fantasyland attraction rules

Small World:
-Yes, I know the song is annoying you, there is nothing I can do about it.
-Our queue is ADA compliant. Your welcome (thank you to those that don't give me a hard time about it)
-No, the song does not bother me.
-No, I don't even hear it anymore.
-The numbers on the clock are decoration. There is no secret code designed by Walt Disney that, with the right decoder ring, deciphers "I hate stupid guests."
-Both sides are open.
-No there is no fastpass.
-No fastpass is not necessary since it is a 10 minute wait.
-Thanks for telling me how boring my job must be in Tower. You try watching 5 boats, speiling, and advancing, all with a smile and wave.
-No, I do not get sick of the song!

Peter Pans Flight:
-Yes, its really a 60 minute wait.
-Fastpass is available.
-Yes, really. 60 minutes, or about an hour.
-No, I'm not giving you a hi-five. My arm is 'strategicaly placed' to prevent you from waltzing onto the belt when a boat is not there yet.
-Exit to your right.
-Stop holding down the bar, you're not going again! Now exit to your right!
-Yes, I am walking backwards. Got my exercise for the day. oh how cleaver you are for asking, your the first one!
-when you get on the unload belt, dont mess around. You are not cute nor funny for immitating me walking backwards.
-Fastpass is availible to everyone.
-If you want to get on the attraction faster than 60 minutes, get a fastpass. I got a ratio.
-Yep, I let in a million people from fastpass for every 1 standby.
-Yes, it is really a 60 minute wait. Popular attraction.
-You can ask any CM at the ride how long it is so you can make your decision as to whether or not to wait 60 minutes.
-Not my fault the ride is 2:45.
-If your fastpass says to return at 7:00pm, don;t expect to be let in at 5:30.
-It really is a 60 minute wait.

(eh, usual disclaimer, blah blah, sarcasm, etc)

HISTA:

1) It's a 3D movie, not a ride!!

2) Do not wear the safety googles until you are told to do so.

3) Wearing the safety goggles does not make you look cool, but look like a complete jackass!

4) Please don't ask us questions about other rides, we don't work that ride.

5) If we DON'T recommend that the safety goggles are for young children, don't complain.

6) Don't send another member of your party for a safety goggle when we refused to hand them out to your very young child.

7) Listen to our safety spiels. So, no eating, drinking, smoking, flash photography or video taping allowed in the theather.

BUzz Lightyear Astro Blasters:

1) NO FOOD OR DRINKS!!! PERIOD!! We gave you time to finish them up by the time you get to the Load position.

2) Please do not walk backwards on the moving belt. It's not funny. We seen it a hundred times, not the first.

3) Don't ask us how to earn more points, we will tell you the same thing we tell everybody: JUST KEEP SHOOTING!!

4) Please remain seated at all times!!

Astro Orbitor:

1) Listen to the spiels!!

2) Children under 7 can not ride alone, no matter how much you don't want to ride it.

3) Don't complain when we can't let your 6 year old ride alone when they did before. We are not going let them ride alone.

4) We we say your children are too young to ride, THEY ARE TOO YOUNG TO RIDE!!! Don't bitch and get mad at me.

bpgstudios wrote:-The numbers on the clock are decoration. There is no secret code designed by Walt Disney that, with the right decoder ring, deciphers "I hate stupid guests."

Aw, dang. Are you sure? :D:

Haunted Mansion
-It's not that scary
-Yes, I know it's hot outside, especially with long pants, a tie, dress shirt, and a vest
-No, Eddie Murphy isn't inside
-Yes, it is dark inside; it's called "the haunted mansion"
-It's not that scary
-IF A DOOR OPENS, WALK THROUGH IT
-When entering the stretch room, move all the way to the other side so other people can enjoy the ride too
-No, I won't smile
-It's not that scary
-I am the only one allowed to walk backwards on the belts
-Why yes, I do get my exercise but I at least get air conditioning
-It's not a castle, it's a mansion
-IT'S NOT THAT SCARY! Telling me after riding also does nothing