Stupid Guest Tricks

If you ever read Mad Mag. than you might remember a segment that they did Called What's Said, What's Ment. I thought I might post a few situations where I or someone else said a very enoquous comment and the guest had an unexpected or violent responce. Please feel free to post your own.

What CM said:
Next LMA show is at 2.45 Please come back thirty minutes prior to showtime.
WHat was Heard by guest:
You stupis Moron, you just walked all the way from the front of the park for nothing. Ha Ha Ha!

What CM Said:
Due to the inclement weather in the area, we have shut down this attraction for your safty.
What was heard by guest:
You just paid $67 to not ride anything, Loser.

What CM Said:
There is no fastpass.
What was heard by guest:
All of our ads for fastpass yere a bold face lie.

What CM Said:
I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do.
What was heard by guest:
I won't help you and I don't care what your story is.

What was said: Finish your food/drinks before you enter the line/attraction

What was heard: You just paid $5 for that snack you just got and now you have to throw it away, SUCKER!!!!!!

What was said: "How many in your group?"

What was heard: "In spite of the fact that I've had a long day, have hundreds of people behind you in line, and have heard every possible joke answer to this question, I really would like you to say 'All of us,' or miscount, or just pull some random number out of the air. That would make my day."

what was said:
I'm sorry, but I do not know how long the Haunted Mansion will be closed due to technical difficulties

What they heard:
I know exactly when the ride is coming back up; I want to ruin your vacation and make you have to keep coming back checking to see if it's open again. Besides, I get a longer break.


What was said:
Please move all the way into the chamber please

What they heard:
I would like the first 20 people to stand in the middle of the stretch room, thus blocking everyone else from entering and ruining the flow of guests.


What was said:
Aladdin and Jasmine have to fly back to the palace b/c Iago and Abu are fighting again. They'll be right back.

What was heard:
Aladdin and Jasmine are leaving forever and will never come back. Please push your children forward to take a quick picture.

What was said: I am sorry, but your child is too short to ride.

What was heard: I make exceptions all the time (safety be damned!), but I'm NOT going to make an exception for your three-inches-too-short kid because I don't like your looks and I want to ruin your day and make little Johnny cry.

What was said: "I'm sorry but Splash Mountain (or any other outdoor attraction) is closed due to lightning".

What was heard: "You're making it storm on purpose".

What was said: "Hey folks, Pooh is going for a quick bite of honey. He will be right back in just a few minutes. Just wait right here".

What was heard: "Oh come on. Just one more please!". Or let's leave and come back later when it's the end and complain how I didn't get to see Pooh because we kept leaving the line.

What was heard: Sorry, this attractions is closed for technical difficulties. Please check back with us a little later.

What was meant: Yes, we are closed, go away!! If we are standing at the entrance and no one is entering the line, that means we are not working no more!! Why are we closed?? CUZ YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT!!!!

mentu wrote: What was said:
Aladdin and Jasmine have to fly back to the palace b/c Iago and Abu are fighting again. They'll be right back.

What was heard:
Aladdin and Jasmine are leaving forever and will never come back. Please push your children forward to take a quick picture.

:hysteria: That one made me laugh because it's so very true. Seen it so many times.

What was said:
I'm sorry, but we're all olut of candy apples.

What was heard:
When I saw you walk in the door, I hid them in the back just to ruin your night.

What was said:
We don't carry any autograph books in this store, but the World of Disney is less than 15 minute walk in that direction (insert Disney point here) and you can purchase one there.

What was heard:
We don't carry any autograph books here because we get such a kick out of watching you walk another 3/4 of a mile after you've been walking all day, and we particularly love it when your children screech in our ears about how tired they are.

What was said:
Yes, Songmaker 1 is down, Engineering is on its way but there is nothing I can do at the moment.

What was heard:
I'm too lazy to leave the counter, even though I work merchandise and clearly know how every machine in the God Damn Disney Quest works well enough that I could fix it for you if I wanted to... but I don't.

What was said: Yes, some of our attractions are closed for rehab but we have many other suggestions for your visit.

What was heard: So you're calling me an idiot for not checking the website to see what was down before I came?!?! I traveled all the way from______to ride that! You have ruined my vacation on purpose and I want a refund!!
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What was said: Excuse me, can you tell little Johnny to get down off of the fence before he gets hurt?

What was heard: You suck as a parent and I relish in acting like an ass just to again ruin your vacation and avoid a lawsuit brought against us when your child breaks his head open.
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What was said: No, I'm sorry we don't have that item in that size at the moment.

What was heard: Yes, I have an evil group of midgets crafting these right now in our back office sweatshop but you aren't allowed to have any. NYAH NYAH NYAH!!
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And the scary thing about these is I have heard them at one time or another.