Stupid Guest Tricks

All right. HYS is beyond a level that can be used to describe it's success so it's time to take a break from it for a bit. This new one is about the quotes that you use at your attraction or wherever the heck you work.

*While shifting gears at dock*
"You guys want to go faster?"
Guests: "Yeah!"
Me: All right! Hang on!" (Shift to 4, which is basically 6 miles an hour, then I grip the wheel like there's no tomorrow)
*Guests laugh*
Me: Hey! Don't laugh, if this was 1989, this would be the fastest ride at the Studios. . .it's 2006 and we're the slowest ride at the Studios. But do you want to go faster?
Guests: Yeah!
Me: Well then get out and push!

You guys won't believe this but the ride tops out at a wopping 6 miles an hour!

The Great Movie Ride, it's 22 minutes of sheer A.C. bliss

Let's compare this. Back lot Tour: 45 minutes outside.
Great Movie Ride: 22 minutes. . .all in A.C.
I think we know the choice.

Turn the video light off or I will turn this movie around and we'll go home!
- - -

Now for the ground rules I am officially putting into effect now.
1. Yes it's a ride

2. No you don't stand the whole time so shut up.

3. There's 22 minutes of pure A.C.-stop complaining.

4. Just because you've been on the ride before, doesn't make you cool if you say the lines before a guide or character does.

5. You're still not cool even if you "know" where all of the hidden mickeys are. But you don't, and you won't, so you aren't.

6. Yeah, you're not funny if you answer "Which way do we go" with 'That way' or 'straight'

7. Yes, Mugsy is dead, ask again and you'll join!

8. Reply with "Really" to my answer of your question once more. . .

9. Sit down, shut up, and enjoy the A.C.

10. Turn the video light off or I will turn this movie around and we'll go home!

Ansem, Coaster, you got anything to add?

I try to do this all the time. Someone will say something,a straight question or off the wall,and I'll answer with a quote from a obscure/well known movie.Stops them dead in their tracks.

Canoes:
Safety First here at Disneyland reach under your seat and grab that blue and yellow safety strap. If its not blue its green and if its not green its red and if its not red its not there. Like we'd strap you in a canoe...geez what do you think this is a kayak? (Barrowed from the great joke writer of the river)

I had one guest after I said rule one was never stop paddling say this.
Guest: I'm in the union
Me: So am I
Guest: I'm a union member we get breaks.
Me: I'm in the union too and the union says a break about every two hours.
Guest: -dumb founded look-

Rafts:
This is the raft TO Tom Sawyer's Island, it is a ONE WAY trip TO the Island. This Raft does not go around the Island just TO the Island. If you'd like to go AROUND the Island please get on one of our OTHER boats. Once again this is the Raft TO the island. Please keep your party together and watch your step as you board.

At the Island:
Guest: This is all it does?
Me: Yup welcome to the Island
Guest: I want to go back
Me: It's a one way trip I need you to exit the Raft and get inline behind the people over there -points to the line for the way back-
Guest: This is a stupid ride.

Mansion:
-Little girl pointing to my hat on my head- You have a scary bat on your head!
Me: That's not a scary bat that's just Fred.
Girl: Oh! -happily walks into the Mansion.

Pooh:
Guest: Are you Christopher Robin's Girlfriend?
Me: No, I'm just a close personal friend of Tigger.
Guest: Are you Sure?
Me: Yes, now bounce on in and watch your step. TTFN, Ta Ta For Now.
Guest: TTFN oh that's so adorable
Me: -Thinking, just go away now-

At Small World Load:

SG: Does this go fast?
CM: Nope.
SG: Does it have any drops?
CM: Nope.
SG: Is it a scary Ride?
CM: Nope.
SG: Then what is it?
CM: Hear this song?
SG: yeah...
CM: well youll be hearing it for the next ten-and-a-half minutes.
SG. Oh no...
CM: And in five different languages!
SG: <Grummble>Oh no...
CM: Oh yes! Enjoy your cruise, Row One.

I hate when they wait till load to ask what the attraction is.

bpgstudios wrote:SG: <Grummble>Oh no...
CM: Oh yes! Enjoy your cruise, Row One.

Holy Heck, that's about the funniest sh*t I've heard all year! You know that guest was just a little OD'd <over disney'd> :barf:

"move all the way in and across the chamber, bodies. All the way to the...other side." - very few people get it.

bpgstudios wrote:At Small World Load:

SG: Does this go fast?
CM: Nope.
SG: Does it have any drops?
CM: Nope.
SG: Is it a scary Ride?
CM: Nope.
SG: Then what is it?
CM: Hear this song?
SG: yeah...
CM: well youll be hearing it for the next ten-and-a-half minutes.
SG. Oh no...
CM: And in five different languages!
SG: <Grummble>Oh no...
CM: Oh yes! Enjoy your cruise, Row One.

I hate when they wait till load to ask what the attraction is.

ROFL!! That is too funny. The last time I rode Small World, my boat had almost reached unload when I overheard a dad in another boat say, "Well, I'm glad we got that over with." I'm curious, what other memorable comments have you heard, bpgstudios?? That ride's bound to bring out the worst in some people.

After taking back the tram at GMR:
Me: Told you I was just going for some popcorn!
SG: Where's the popcorn?
Me: I ate it!!!

When I worked at Knott's, during "Camp Spooky", of course there were the mazes for Halloween Haunt as well as the usual themed decorations. A kid asked me if the monsters came out in the daytime. Assuming a very serious look, I replied, "No, the monsters are not allowed to come out during the daytime! If they do, they get fired!" It was a very relieved child that thanked me and scooted off to his next adventure.

I told you I was going to get some popcorn. . .

*Off mic* but sometimes you get popcorn and a bullet in the leg.

A line I use if I hit my leg hard enough running from the gangster scene. *I play the pain/cut (yes cut) like I was shot by one of the guys in the car*

*If stuck in a scene*
This is normally what we call filler time. I'd like to call it miller time, but we see how well that is working right now.

Just so you folks know, from the hours of 3-6 you can bet we'll have showers or thunderstorms. . .Welcome to the sunshine state.