Stupid Guest Tricks

This has to be the weirdest Dear Abby letter I have ever seen. I am all for liking your animals and considering them human to an extent but UMMMM...YEAH..no words here to describe this. You had to wonder how long it took poorAbby to stop laughing before she could give a straight answer.


DEAR ABBY: My precious Mitzy went to the neighbor's house to socialize. She primped for nearly two hours, and even though she is of humble breeding, I thought she looked stunning. But when she pranced over to see Adonis, he ignored her! She swayed her hips to entice him, but finally became discouraged and returned home. I held her in my lap to soothe her and gave her a bowl of warm milk.
Later that week, Adonis' master came calling and ordered me to "Keep that tawdry Mitzy away from my fine Adonis!" I politely replied that my Mitzy would be a marvelous catch for his Adonis, and I am encouraging the relationship.

How can I protect Mitzy's heart? Did I do the right thing? -- LOVER OF LOVE

DEAR LOVER OF LOVE: No, you did not. You may be a lover of love, but if you're wise you'll spay your cat and protect her from contracting a feline social disease. That is obviously what Adonis' owner has done, or Adonis would have succumbed to Mitzy's attempt at seduction.

That is just a lillte too weird? Even for kitty lovers, mmmmmm Susislicker?

Yep, that is *out there* all right!!!! Takes all kinds to make up this ole world...
sooze

Maybe that person is trying to ger her "15 minutes", a newspaper version of an SG!

And I thot the first question for Dear Abby today was strange .....That is till I got to the cat one. A guy has kept the remains of the first gallon of milk he ever bought for himself for the past god knows how many years and his fiance wants him to get rid of it. You all need to go read todays letters. Abby had a blast answering that one.

IS today "kookie letters" day? maybe she turned in a previous column?

LOL...I am thinking maybe she is having a little fun since tomorrow is a holiday, tho those letters would have been better around April 1

I used to have a best of Dear Abby book- one of the funniest went like:

Dear Abby,
There are two women who live together in our apartment building.These two are always doing everything together,always leave and arrive together, etc.

Do you think they could be Lebanese?

The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)


WASHINGTON , DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation which will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.


"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said a senior Senator. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, a House and Senate Leader pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%)

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNA Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-ables, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to the job?"

"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them, " said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her lack of any discernible job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel".

Said an unnamed Senator nicknamed Splash: "As a Senator With No Abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation".
:hysteria:

susi

Sorry Susislicker, that passed in secret many years ago, only they call it the U.S. Government! :hysteria: