Stupid Guest Tricks

DisneyMom wrote:Naaaah, all of us in the medical profession know THAT one! ;)

Here's another one for Zazu's MD......

Two Doctors are out on the golf course when one of them says to the other,
" Say, Bob, how come there's a rectal thermometer behind your ear?"
Bob gasps, then blurts out,
"Omigosh, where's my pen?!" :twisted:

I've been telling that one for years.

hobie16 wrote:I've been telling that one for years.

OK, how 'bout this one......

Time comes for Grandpa to go to the Nursing Home.
His loving family tells the nurses to not let him fall and says they'll be back the next day. Pretty soon, Grandpa starts leaning to the side in his wheelchair, so the nurse comes and straightens him back up. Grandpa stays still for a little, then starts to lean again, and the conscientous nurses straighten him back up. This goes on throughout the day.
The next day, his loving family returns, anxious about his first day in his new home.
"How is the food, Grandpa?" " Fine", he replies. They ask about the bed, his
roommate, and the staff. "All fine," he says.
Is there anything at all that they could do more to help you? they wonder...
"Well, just one thing......" he starts.
"What?"
"They won't let me fart!"
:D:

That's a new one!!

ktulu wrote:The only way it would be perfect for Zazu is if they installed a wine bar!

"This is your third colonoscopy this week!"

"Yes, yes, but the wine is divine!"

I don't mind the occasional colonoscopy, especially if the wine's good. It's the prep for them that I hate!

Zazu wrote:I don't mind the occasional colonoscopy, especially if the wine's good. It's the prep for them that I hate!

Which excellent beverage do you use?

kurtisnelson wrote:Which excellent beverage do you use?

I suspect it might be a gallon of Go-Lytely. One night us nurses had a little taste-test party that included this vile stuff. Tastes like sea water!
I swore if I ever had to take that stuff, I'd ask for a tube down my nose to pour it into. Not to mention you can't be more than a couple feet from the toilet for hours afterward

kurtisnelson wrote:Which excellent beverage do you use?[/QUOTE[

DisneyMom wrote:I suspect it might be a gallon of Go-Lytely.

That's what's on tap for this surgery. I find it's a lot more palatable if you mix in some Crystal Lite lemonade mix. Just don't use the pink variety -- it really confuses them!

Zazu wrote:Met today with the assistant surgeon. He's the big robot geek, and he also got to give me the "informed consent" talk.

I knew why he was working with my primary surgeon when he got the the part about the chances of impotence and showed me this illustration.

Boy, do I know how to pick 'em or what?

Did anyone notice the name of the author in the "this illustration" link? Tee Hee!

If you keeping score...it all started with Prostate Cancer, then it turned into airport preferences, then chocolate, then briefly returned to the Prostate thing, then airport abbreviations and then to Dr. jokes, then back to the prostate. Man, it's hard (sorry) to keep up (sorry) with you folks.

Zazu wrote:

kurtisnelson wrote:Which excellent beverage do you use?

That's what's on tap for this surgery. I find it's a lot more palatable if you mix in some Crystal Lite lemonade mix. Just don't use the pink variety -- it really confuses them!

Try that just before they drain a ton of junk out of you...Needless to say, I hate that stuff....

But I did meet one of my docs while doing the run to the toilet...He got out of the way

Zazu wrote:I don't mind the occasional colonoscopy, especially if the wine's good. It's the prep for them that I hate!

AMEN Brother.