Stupid Guest Tricks

felinefan wrote:Does anybody remember those books put out by MAD Magazine, "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"? ... Hey, there's an idea for a thread--what you wish you could get away with saying.... Plus, some backfires--or as they would be called today, fails.

We had a thread on this topic a while back. There were even plans for a book. Working title was "What Time is the Three O'Clock Parade: Common Guest Questions and the Answers We Would Like To Let Them Have".

I've still got the files around here, but my co-conspirators lost interest and the project stopped. More than happy to fire it up again.

Perhaps I should start a new thread just for this. Who's willing to help edit?

Zazu wrote:We had a thread on this topic a while back. There were even plans for a book. Working title was "What Time is the Three O'Clock Parade: Common Guest Questions and the Answers We Would Like To Let Them Have".

I've still got the files around here, but my co-conspirators lost interest and the project stopped. More than happy to fire it up again.

Perhaps I should start a new thread just for this. Who's willing to help edit?

Wasn't it connected in with Here's your Sign and a couple of other SGT legends? Or was that a separate book?

darph nader wrote:you're there,I aint. :(

As it should be. Can you imagine us together? :D: :D:

kurtisnelson wrote:Wasn't it connected in with Here's your Sign and a couple of other SGT legends? Or was that a separate book?

Zazu wrote:We had a thread on this topic a while back. There were even plans for a book. Working title was "What Time is the Three O'Clock Parade: Common Guest Questions and the Answers We Would Like To Let Them Have".

Do you have the link to share it again?

My friends and I would love to share stupid questions and answers with you.

SG: (pointing at BTRR) Is this Splash Mountain?
CM: Sorry, we had a bad drought and removed the water and logs.
CM: Disneyland replaced it with a train mine ride.

SG: (At turkey Cart) Do you sell ice cream here?
CM: No, it would be very hard to keep ice cream frozen at 190 degrees.
CM: We are out of cups and straws for the ice cream.

I can come up with more.

SG: I want to go and ride the Mark Twain Boat.
CM: The Rivers of America is down for refurbishment.
SG: I came all the way from Washington DC to ride it, I want to get on it now.
CM: If there was a way to get pass the wall and security, you can try, but here at Disneyland we don't allow short cuts.
SG: Walks away complaining that they can't get pass the wall and get what they want. :mad:

Zazu wrote:We had a thread on this topic a while back. There were even plans for a book. Working title was "What Time is the Three O'Clock Parade: Common Guest Questions and the Answers We Would Like To Let Them Have".

kurtisnelson wrote:Wasn't it connected in with Here's your Sign and a couple of other SGT legends? Or was that a separate book?

Separate programs. "Here's your sign" is a catchphrase of Bill Engvall, and I would expect his lawyers to take a very dim view of anyone else trying to publish based on it.

"Three O'Clock Parade" would be a publication of Stupid Guest Tricks dot Com. I'll ask again, anybody want to help edit it?

Zazu wrote:Separate programs. "Here's your sign" is a catchphrase of Bill Engvall, and I would expect his lawyers to take a very dim view of anyone else trying to publish based on it.

"Three O'Clock Parade" would be a publication of Stupid Guest Tricks dot Com. I'll ask again, anybody want to help edit it?

Zazu, I think he is referring to Indy and Marion's thread, "...Here's Your Sign" which is an outtake from Bill Engvall.

Yes, I'd be interested in helping to edit the book/publication.

leftcoaster wrote:Zazu, I think he is referring to Indy and Marion's thread, "...Here's Your Sign" which is an outtake from Bill Engvall.

Yes, I'd be interested in helping to edit the book/publication.

Yeah, I was. At one point I remember Indy saying there is a written version stashed in a break room somewhere.

And I can edit.

I found my copy of Smart Comebacks to Stupid Questions. Richard Porteus wrote it and it was illustrated by Charles Goll.

In a cafe setting.
Male customer: Is the coffee hot?
Waitress: No. We serve it frozen on a stick.
On the counter is a sign. Today's special Roadkill Stew. Guess our mystery meat! Win Prize.

It's like this:
SG: What is a turkey leg?
CM: A turkey leg is from a 6 ft turkey in Indiana, runs wild in the forest. Crosses a busy highway and gets hit by a car or is a leg of a cow shaped like a turkey.

SG: Do you have beer?
CM: Yes, at home in the frig.

I think you would have some fun with the book. ;)