Stupid Guest Tricks

This guy is driving in the country when his car breaks down near a pasture. As the guy is looking at the engine, trying to find the problem, he hears a voice say, "It's in the carberator." He looks around, but sees only a bony old horse. The horse says, "It's in the carberator." The guy asks the horse, "Did you just say that?" "Yes," replies the horse. Frightened, the guy takes off on foot down the road, running until he gets to the local country store. He excitedly tells the storekeeper and the locals sitting around the potbellied stove what happened, and one of the locals spoke up. "Son, was this horse a bony nag with a bob tail, and a mangy gray coat?" The guy thinks a moment, says, "Yes, it was." The locals exchange knowing glances with each other and the storekeeper, then the one says, "Son, don't listen to anything that horse says, he don't know nothin' about carberators."

A mathematician, an engineer, and a physicist are all attending a conference and are staying in the same hotel. One night, small fires break out in each room. The engineer wakes up and sees the fire, he runs to the sink and throws as much water as he can onto the fire to put it out just in case and goes back to sleep in a very wet bed. The physicist wakes up and sees the fire, does some quick calculations and grabs a cup of water and pours it on specific locations in the fire. The fire is extinguished and he goes back to sleep in a slightly wet bed. The mathematician wakes up sees the fire and says, "hmm," then he goes to the bathroom and turns on the faucet and says, "hmm". He then proclaims, "there is a solution," and turns off the water and goes back to bed.

hobie16 wrote:I thought it was, "The sheep are liars!"

yes...variations, I have heard it several ways over the years!!


heheheheh

I like the one about the three engineers and three salesmen who all take a trip by train.

Zazu wrote:I like the one about the three engineers and three salesmen who all take a trip by train.

Okay..okay....

I'll bite

What about the three engineers and three salesmen who all take a trip by train?

(let me get some rum first!!)

hehehehe

GRUMPY PIRATE wrote:Okay..okay....

I'll bite

What about the three engineers and three salesmen who all take a trip by train?

(let me get some rum first!!)

hehehehe

Three engineers and three salesmen were traveling on the same train to a conference. Each of the salesmen bought a ticket, but the three engineers pooled their money and only bought one.

"Boy, you Engineers are stupid," said the Salesmen, "With only one ticket, two of you are going to be thrown off the train!"

"Not so," said the Engineers, "Watch and learn."

All boarded the train and took seats. When the train began to move, the three Engineers went to the men's room and all crowded into one stall. When the Conductor came by collecting tickets, he knocked on the stall door and shouted, "Tickets please!" The engineers opened the door a crack, handed out one ticket, and the Conductor punched it and moved on. The Salesmen were duly impressed at the thrift of the Engineers.

On the way back, the Salesmen pooled their money and purchased only one ticket between them. The Engineers didn't buy any tickets.

"Boy, you Engineers are stupid," said the Salesmen, "We know your trick of riding on only one ticket, but you surely can't make it work with no tickets at all!"

"Not so," said the Engineers, "Watch and learn."

All boarded the train and took seats. When the train began to move, all six went to the men's room where the three Salesmen crowded into one stall and the three Engineers crowded into the other.

Just before the Conductor came by to collect the tickets, one of the Engineers left his stall, knocked on the door to the Salesmen's stall, and shouted "Tickets please!"

That is a good one Zazu.

I've always liked this one:

[INDENT]A pessimist sees a glass as half empty.

An optomist sees it as half full.

An engineer sees a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.[/INDENT]

Zazu wrote:Three engineers and three salesmen were traveling on the same train to a conference. Each of the salesmen bought a ticket, but the three engineers pooled their money and only bought one.

REDACTED FOR BREVITY
Just before the Conductor came by to collect the tickets, one of the Engineers left his stall, knocked on the door to the Salesmen's stall, and shouted "Tickets please!"

Were these TRAIN engineers? hehehehehehe

An engineer is waiting for an friend by the curb. His friend rides up on a brand new Harley. The first engineer asks, "Where did you get the bike?"

"It was the strangest thing," the second engineer replied, "A beautiful blond rode up on the bike, stopped and got off, took off all her clothes and told me I could have anything I wanted."

"Good choice," The first engineer said, "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."