What you said / What they heard

[Alyssa3467]

Disney doesn't really care what time you get back (as long as it isn't early)

I think that's where the problem is. The previously mentioned scenario then becomes:

L 1 2 L L L 3 4 5 6 7 8 L 9 10 L

and the standby crowd gets upset because they see all the people with FastPasses go by while they're asked to wait,

or the ratio is maintained at Merge

L 1 2 L L L 3 4 L 5 6 L 7 8 9 10

and the FastPass folks get upset because they don't get the instant front of the line access they think FastPass promises (when it doesn't) and *they* are made to wait.

[InnovEbz]

What You Said: Please watch your step.
What They Heard: I can ignore y.... *bam!* "Why didn't you tell me to watch the step?!"

What You Said: No photos on the platform, sir.
What You Wanted To Say: If you take a photo on this platform and the flash distracts the operator, you are endangering the lives of the people already on the ride!
What They Heard: You're ruining my holiday by not letting me take photos of the ride.

[Darksin]

What was said:
I'm sorry, this show is full. If you'll come back our next show is at 3:45pm and please arrive half an hour early to ensure seating!

What they heard:
I'm here to ruin your vacation and make your children cry, so NO I won't let you in.
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What was said:
Please keep your hands out of the water!

What was heard:
Put your hands and your kids hands in the water! Maybe you can touch the sealion chasing fish the trainers throw!
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What was said:
No, there is nothing wrong with the Sealions. Like other animals they need to take naps sometimes.

What was heard:
Their all DEAD!
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What was said:
Please don't block this pathway!

What was heard:
Stand right there, we'll happily go around you with this golf cart hauling around a sealion! Then you can touch it!
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What was said:
Please be aware, this is a splash zone. You may get wet.

What was heard:
Everyone but YOU will get wet, then you can complain to guest services that your not going to die of some terrible aliment because you got wet!
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(Via Happy Harbor)
What was said:
Please do NOT climb down the nets!

What was said:
Climb down the nets!

[Freak]

What was said:
Unfortunately, you do need a FastPass for World of Color to get into the viewing area. But you can watch the show from these following locations...

What they heard:
I'm not letting you in to this cool show because I don't like you. And you smell. Go away. You'll never get to see this show.
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What was said:
Hopefully [Attraction Name] will be open later today. I do apologize for it not being open right now.

What was heard:
I saw you and your dumb family coming towards this ride, so I busted out my secret phone and called the ride and told them to close it down so you can't go on it. HA!
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What was said:
Careful, this ice cream will be hard.

What was heard:
Go ahead, eat it right now, it'll be soft as a marshmallow. Then you can come complain when the FROZEN ICE CREAM is FROZEN.
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What was said:
Sorry, it looks like [character name] isn't here right now, but I do see [alternate character name] over there, you could get pictures with them.

What was heard:
Hey, aren't you that family from the broken ride? Yeah, I thought so. Busted out that secret phone again and called the character people and told them to hide the character you wanted to see. HAH!
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What was said:
There's a good chance this section of the viewing area will get wet, especially if its windy. We do have ponchos for sale.

What was heard:
I'm really lying to you. The water on the ground is a special effect. You're not going to get wet. The ponchos are a scam, we just want your money, jerk.
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What was said:
No, [event name] isn't scheduled to perform today, but I do have the days and times it will be.

What was heard:
Yup, I used that damn secret phone again to cancel an ENTIRE SHOW. Man, I totally ruined your day didn't I? BWAHAHA!
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What was said:
I'm sorry, but we haven't had a parade in some time due to construction, but we do have [alternate parade/show thing] at [location] at [time], its sort of like the parade, it features characters and a float from the parade.

What was heard:
No, I'm totally lying. The parade floats are like Stretch Armstrong and can contort and stretch and shrink to fit ANY path. The construction area is TOTALLY capable of handling a float. But I won't tell you when you can see this show, go watch this crappy substitute show instead, jerk!

[Darksin]

Now, a few from my time at Disney!

What was asked:
Is this a ride?
What was said:
Yes ma'am it's an indoor, high speed roller coaster.
What was heard:
Please bring your screaming, terrorized child and force them on the ride! We love the sounds of child anguish in the afternoon! Oh and don't forget to bring the kid who's to short, that way you can scream at us! We love that too!
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What was said:
Yes, this attraction can be intense for younger guests so please use discretion.

What was heard:
Perfect for young children!
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What was said:
Please, No Flash Photography!

What was heard:
TAKE PICTURES OF EVERYTHING WITH THE FLASH ON!
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What was said:
I'm sorry, due to the power outage our attraction is currently down.

What was heard:
I turned off the whole damn resort, just to fuck with you. When your not looking I turn them back on too.
(Did anyone else go threw that "Power Surge" in 2000 that shut down EVERYTHING at Disney for 2.5 hours? Oh the horror stories from THAT day!)
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What was said:
I'm sorry but I don't know where Donald Duck is at today but if you stop into our gift shop I'm sure they have a complete list of where all the character appearances are and the times for today.

What was heard:
I ate him.. Peking Style.
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What was said:
Are there any single riders?! Single riders please raise your hands!

What was heard:
Anyone but single riders, raise your hands then complain someone cutted.
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(Now for my favorites)

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What was said:
I'm sorry but your bag is to big to travel with you.

What was heard:
I'm racist and hate you!
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What was said:
I'm sorry but your child is to small to ride this attraction, Let me tell you about our baby swap program!

What was heard:
I'm racist and hate children!
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What was said:
No Sir, I'm sorry but I cannot sell you an earlier fast past nor give you one as I simply don't have any. They are printed as first come, first serve basis.

What was heard:
I'm racist and discriminate!
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What was said:
I'm sorry but that attraction isn't located in this park, your looking for (Epcot/AK/MK).

What was heard:
I'm racist and moved it yesterday!

[BRWombat]

Now, a few from my time at Disney!

...
What was said:
I'm sorry but that attraction isn't located in this park, your looking for (Epcot/AK/MK).

What was heard:
I'm racist and moved it yesterday!

Ah, yes, the fabled Racist Attraction-Moving Program. They've been trying to prove its existence for years...

[Darksin]

Exactly BR!
You know when the parks shut down at night CM's gather together then have our own little version of Peoples Court in order to decide which attractions are getting moved overnight just to mess with people!
Oh and let's not forget we also randomly decide to re-name them here too!
It keeps people on their toes and it's kind of like a game, WDW Scavenger Attraction Hunt!
;)

[hobie16]

Sounds like the Disney version of Dark City.

[WWWD]

Sounds like the Disney version of Dark City.

How'd you get a picture of the Disney Board of Directors??

[Freak]

What was said:
Folks, please enter the viewing area using the entrance on the right hand side.
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What was heard:
Hey, come right in this way through the exit! Pay no attention to the flashlight baton I'm holding and swinging towards you telling you to go the other way. I'm just using it to try and hit you in the face. By all means, keep trying to shove you way through the exit where people are trying to exit and please complain and let everyone know that we "should have a separate entrance" and that everyone needs to get out of YOUR way.

Ah, yes, the fabled Racist Attraction-Moving Program. They've been trying to prove its existence for years...

Yeah, but every time we deny it, someone calls us racist... :whistlng: