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Re: Official SGT ADD thread

Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:40 am
by BRWombat
hobie16 wrote:This is suppose to be the best God joke ever. You be the judge.

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
If I recall, that's an Emo Philips story. At least I hear it in my head in his sing-songy voice.

When I was on the air on my college radio station, our studio had this picture hanging in it. Philips had autographed it with, "Dear Baylor, you will always have a special place under my chin, Emo."

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Re: Official SGT ADD thread

Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:55 am
by YANXWIN
He's a weird dude, but his routines are fantastic.

Re: Official SGT ADD thread

Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 11:46 am
by hobie16
YANXWIN wrote:He's a weird dude, but his routines are fantastic.
And, he was married to "Petite Flower and Love Goddess" Judy Tenuta. She is also the "Empress of Elvis Impersonators".

Re: Official SGT ADD thread

Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 8:44 pm
by DisneyMom
hobie16 wrote:
YANXWIN wrote:He's a weird dude, but his routines are fantastic.
And, he was married to "Petite Flower and Love Goddess" Judy Tenuta. She is also the "Empress of Elvis Impersonators".
Don't forget she popularized my favorite term for Hubby- "Stud-Muffin" :wink:

Re: Official SGT ADD thread

Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 10:09 pm
by hobie16
"It could happen!"

Re: Official SGT ADD thread

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 8:06 am
by BRWombat
One of my favorite Emo Philips one-liners: "I was sleeping the other night, alone... thanks to the exterminator."

Re: Official SGT ADD thread

Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 7:59 am
by hobie16
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Re: Official SGT ADD thread

Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 8:47 am
by Big Wallaby
That one falls under the category, why the #### would you do that to yourself?!?

Re: Official SGT ADD thread

Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 10:30 am
by hobie16
Big Wallaby wrote:That one falls under the category, why the #### would you do that to yourself?!?
You'd think that, early on, alcohol was involved. Or not.

Re: Official SGT ADD thread

Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 10:42 am
by hobie16
Then, there's these guys...

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I bet he eats a lot of steak.
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