Stupid Guest Tricks

Whazzup wrote:One of the doctors I used to work for wanted to buy a young beef calf and raise it at our place. He wanted it raised as Kobe beef and expected me to hand feed it a special diet several times a day and massage the beef daily to tenderize it as it grew up. He was willing to pay generously, but I said no thanks!

It is kind of hard to send something to slaughter after you've had a "relationship" with it!
I don't even treat my husband that well! :p:

mechurchlady wrote:So how was your burgers for lunch? Roadkill is mighty fine eating especially if it comes from a smashed up big rig.

This reminds me of a story in my old-favorite sleazy tabloid, The Weekly World News. At one time, it actually used stories that had a kernel of truth before it went totally into la la land. One of them concerned a woman who picked up road kill every day to eat. That was "interesting" enough, but a Chicago DJ (Johnny B for my fellow Chicagoans) called her up to do a spot. Turns out she was eating road kill because she said she was out of town, and when she came home, gypsies had taken over her house. No one, not even the police, would help her remove them so she was reduced to living on road kill. And that woman was totally dead serious. I figure the police didn't help her remove the gypsies because they probably couldn't see them...the woman was probably the only one who could.

Syndrome wrote:This reminds me of a story in my old-favorite sleazy tabloid, The Weekly World News. At one time, it actually used stories that had a kernel of truth before it went totally into la la land. One of them concerned a woman who picked up road kill every day to eat. That was "interesting" enough, but a Chicago DJ (Johnny B for my fellow Chicagoans) called her up to do a spot. Turns out she was eating road kill because she said she was out of town, and when she came home, gypsies had taken over her house. No one, not even the police, would help her remove them so she was reduced to living on road kill. And that woman was totally dead serious. I figure the police didn't help her remove the gypsies because they probably couldn't see them...the woman was probably the only one who could.

Invisible gypsies are the toughest to evict.

BRWombat wrote:Invisible gypsies are the toughest to evict.

I hate it when that happens!!!

The voices always tell me too be careful!!!

RUM?

I went to visit a patient in the San Fernando Valley who lived in the most interesting gated estate- turns out it used to be owned by another famous magician around the time of Houdini . He gave me a mini tour (I love old houses) and told me how the place had been "empty" for years when they bought it....empty except for transients who still thought it was available to crash at- they had to chase off people for a good year and a half!
Another place I visited not too far from there used to be the "summer home" of Lucille Ball.

I recently read in the newspaper that there's this house in L.A. that has sat empty and intact for 50 years after a murder suicide. Wrapped Christmas presents sit unopened. It's owned by a guy, and the neighbors for years had to chase away people with twisted ideas of decorum from setting fires and having parties up there. There's a chain across the driveway, and the owner and the neighbors have keys. And they don't let just anyone up there. The story is the father killed his wife, and when his 18 year old daughter tried to intervene, he hit her in the head with a hammer, seriously injuring her. The other two children were asleep in bed. The husband then killed himself. The mystery is, why did he do it when he had no apparent reason? It was later discovered he had serious financial issues. The kids went to homes, and they can't locate them. The house has been closed, and until an alarm system was installed by the owner, untouched since. One lady tried to go in just to see what was there, but the alarm tripped, and she ended up with a black widow spider bite on her hand. Of course, with no maintence on it, the house is a teardown now. The furniture is still there, everything; it's like a time capsule. But can you imagine that?

My favorite Weekly World News headline...

"Gassy Elephant Blows Trainer Through Tent Wall"

:D: :D: :D:


Don't really know the rest of the story since I didn't buy a copy. I saw it in the checkout line, loved the headline and figured that there was no way knowing the rest of story would make it any better.

techie-13 wrote:My favorite Weekly World News headline...

"Gassy Elephant Blows Trainer Through Tent Wall"

:D: :D: :D:


Don't really know the rest of the story since I didn't buy a copy. I saw it in the checkout line, loved the headline and figured that there was no way knowing the rest of story would make it any better.

I have to agree with your evaluation!!! heheheheheh

sometimes, there is just TMI!!!!

heheheheheh


RUM?

techie-13 wrote:My favorite Weekly World News headline...

"Gassy Elephant Blows Trainer Through Tent Wall"

How are a cocktail lounge and an elephant's fart related?

A cocktail lounge is a bar room and an elephant's fart goes BARROOM!!

Would you like to hear the story about the talking horse? ;)

hobie16 wrote:How are a cocktail lounge and an elephant's fart related?

A cocktail lounge is a bar room and an elephant's fart goes BARROOM!!

Would you like to hear the story about the talking horse? ;)

Sure, Hobie, why not? [sticks fingers in ears and closes eyes]