SGT Action from our April Trip: Concentrated just like. . .

[Rob562]

That only works if your phobia only comes into play once you are on the airplane. Once I'm on the airplane, I'm fine because I figure I'm dead, might as well enjoy the ride. It's the time leading up to it, and frankly, being stressed for several months is not my idea of a good time. I figure the extra time driving/sailing/or taking trains is worth the stress it saves me.

Sounds like you need to have your significant-other secretly buy the plane tickets and pretend like you're driving for your trip. Then on the morning you leave, say "Oh, by the way, we're flying..." No time left to fret about it.

-Rob

[Randy B]

Sounds like you need to have your significant-other secretly buy the plane tickets and pretend like you're driving for your trip. Then on the morning you leave, say "Oh, by the way, we're flying..." No time left to fret about it.

-Rob

Unfortunately if the fearful one is the one to suggest that trick the benefits won't happen. Also even if it is a suprize it will only work once. Then after that every trip, even those that WILL be made by car will result in the same stress.

I would suggest some other form of stress relief. Maybe Hypnotizm therapy or even professional counciling. Or maybe something simple. The OP mentioned that once at the airport the flight is calm due to resignation to a done deal. So try to set their minds to that "done deal" state earlier. If the OP resigns themself to "can't back out now" state as of the moment the tickets are purchased, the resignation state can set in at that point. After several trips with the long calm prior to the trip working it may be possible to convince the mind to believe that is normal and the problem will just fade away entirely.

It's amazing what we can trick our own minds into accepting if we work at figuring the triggers and using them intentionally to get the desired results. For example, I knew someone who was trying to lose weight and was afraid of snakes. So they simply wrapped rubber snakes around the handle of the fridge and the snack cabinet handles. They knew full well that they were rubber, but the fear response made them resist touching the snakes, allowing the intentional mind to take control long enough to resist random snacking. :D:

Randy

[EeyoresButterfly]

I don't need to be psychoanalyzed on the internet, thank you very much. If you must know, two family friends were on TWA Flight 800. Their funeral is the first one that I attended that I was old enough to remember. Frankly, with the way things are with airports these days, I feel it's better not to fly. I don't have to worry about waiting 8 hours on a tarmac with on an unairconditioned plane no food or water and toilets that don't work. I don't have to go through all of the hassles of security and making sure I don't have anything that is contraband. I don't have to worry about being randomly chosen for a more intensive search. I don't have to worry about no-fly lists. My cousin's husband was almost denied a flight to his own wedding. He is in the military and lived in a different state. His flying patterns flagged him in the system.

I get sick and tired of people trying to tell me that it's no big deal, that statistics show it is the safest way to travel... yada yada yada. It's called a phobia, by definition it is irrational, and I know that. I have a degree in psychology. I know all about the different types of counseling that are meant to help people with phobias. I even attempted to see a University counselor last summer, but the guy was a jerk and made me feel like an idiot.

I'm sorry if this post comes across too strongly, but you have really touched a nerve. So please quit trying to tell me how to work around it or get over it or that I need professional help. Plenty of people are phobic of airplanes and make do everyday without any extra hassle. Heck, driving, sailing, or taking a train allows you to see places you otherwise wouldn't have experiences that are unavailable to you if you fly.

[EeyoresButterfly]

Oh, and if my SO ever pulled a stunt like that, not only would I absolutely refuse, our relationship would be over then and there.

[Randy B]

I don't need to be psychoanalyzed on the internet, thank you very much.

I wish to tender my profound apologies. I had no intention of doing anything but be helpful with my poor suggestions.

I know I have PLENTY of quirks in my makeup and so those that I want to "fix" I have learned ways to work around them. And there are still plenty that I know I have and don't have a desire to change. So I understand your feelings. I was only voicing some of my personal findings in hopes that an idea could be useful if you, or anone reading the posting with a similar desire, could find useful.

Please forgive me for pressing a button I truely had no intention of pressing. I like being helpful when possible but never intend to stick my nose into anyones business when it is not wanted. Forgive me.

Randy

[EeyoresButterfly]

Thank you for trying to be helpful. I probably shouldn't have reacted so strongly, I just get tired of people trying to "fix" the problem. Hopefully your post will be helpful to somebody who might be reading this board and want to get help for their phobia.

There are several types of therapies for phobias, most based around Behavior and Cognitive models of psychology. The most common is desensitization. This involves slowly exposing the person to approximatinos of whatever their phobia is in non threatening situations until they can be around the real thing. I'll give an example. A person who is afraid of snakes may be started out talking about snakes, then looking at a picture of a snake, then holding a toy snake, then seeing a real snake from a distnace, then seeing the snake close up, and eventually holding a snake. Another popular theraphy for those dealing with phobias is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. This is a hybrid of the Behavior and Cognitive models. REBT teaches you to redirect your thoughts. The cognitive model of therapy believes that we are responsible for our thoughts, that with help we can change our thoughts. It is how we think about a situation that causes us problems, not the situation itself. Using forms of behavior theraphy like positive reinforcement, REBT teaches the patient to change how they think about events.

Whenever dealing with somebody with a phobia, you need to realize that a phobia is by definition irrational. Most people with phobias may recognize this, but it does not make the phobia any better. For some people (like me) a phobia may stem from traumatic incident, while for others the phobia may have no apparent cause. Using platitudes or trying to reason with a person with a phobia does not work due to the irrational nature. Chances are the person with the phobia knows rationally what you are telling them, but their emotions tell them something different. I know that statistically planes are by far the safest way to travel, but my emotions still tell me that if I get on a plane it will crash. The person afraid of snakes knows that the chances of getting bitten by a poisonous snake and being killed are low, but even a snake in a cage is perceived as dangerous on an emotional level. Trying to make somebody get over a phobia by using platitudes and statistics simply does not work and will probably irritate them.

While there are many phobias, they are not considered to be a mental illness unless the interere with a person's ability to function. For instance, a person with agorophobia who stays inside and has no contact with others and therefore cannot work, shop,etc. would be considered to have a mental illness. A person who is phobic of planes who must fly for their job and is unable to do so putting their job in jeopardy or becomes so stressed that they make themselves sick might be considered to have a mental illness. It all depends on how much the phobia impacts the person's ability to function in everyday life. If a wants to overcome their phobia, they need to seek out a professional psychologist with experience with phobias. Many of the self help programs out there do not work and are scams to take your money.

[hobie16]

I flew in Huey helicopters a lot when I was in the Army. The best time was sitting in the door, eating a PBJ at 3,000 feet. An interesting one was flying with two pilots who were firing 17 pound rockets at tank hulks and having molten aluminum spray through the cockpit. My job was to put out the fires on the pilot.

[DisneyMom]

A plane crashed a block away from us in El Segundo near LAX when I was little, so it is no coincidence that I have never been on a plane. I still remember seeing the small plane on fire and inserted into the apartment building.... :(

However, even a live poisonous snake in my fridge would only slightly delay my random snacking! :D:

[hobie16]

I averaged about 100,000 air miles a year when I was teaching.

[February]

I don't need to be psychoanalyzed on the internet, thank you very much. If you must know, two family friends were on TWA Flight 800.

I'm really sorry to hear about that :(

You should never feel that you have to justify your decision not to fly to anyone. If asked, I'd just give a simple, three word answer: "I don't fly."

You don't ever have to go into more detail than that unless you choose to- because the choice is yours alone for whatever reason you make it. There are people who live their whole lives never having flown on an airplane, it's not mandatory or anything!

Back on topic- anyone have any recent SGT stories to share???

Bru