Stupid Guest Tricks

ktulu wrote:That's why I always have my portable Whataburger with me so my staff can be ready to deliver a burger or taquito with plenty of ketchup. If logistics prevent me from having my portable Whataburger, then my staff will take the plane to the closest location and bring me something.

Dream on ktulu! ;) Staff? Your staff?? :D: :D:

seeing_eye_child wrote:Oh how I possibly turn down such an opening? :D:

Recently proposed room-theme rumors have stately accommodations for Princess Tiana's royal Disney pals at Port Orleans. So we'll say that she and her Prince Naveen are hosting, and have commandeered Boatwright's for the evening, commissioning a special menu.

The guest list is as follows:

Princess Jasmine and Prince Aladdin (who have been visiting General Gouda and are quite sick of cheese), Rajah, Abu
Princess Ariel, Prince Eric, Sebastian (who requests to be seated as far from the kitchen as possible due to past trauma...similarly, he refuses to eat French food)
Princess Aurora, Prince Phillip, Samson (who has been naughty recently; Prince Phillip requests that he be served a dish with no carrots)
Princess Cinderella, Prince Charming, Jaques and Gus Gus (who have heard rumors of an incomprehensibly large cat on the guest list and would prefer to stay as close as possible to their beloved Cinderelly for protection)

Where will they all sit and what will they be fed?

You didn't say so, but I'll presume this is a State Dinner, so maximum formality will be the rule, with minimal accommodations for individual needs.

First things first: Prince Naveen and Princess Tiana would be seated together at the head of the table, as it's too large a group to have her at the foot.

Now let's list the royal couples in order by their films release dates:

Prince Charming and Princess Cinderella (1950)
Prince Phillip and Princess Aurora (1959)
Prince Eric and Princess Ariel (1989)
Prince Aladdin and Princess Jasmine (1992)

However, all are not equal:
Prince Charming is an heir, as the King is still alive.
Prince Phillip is an heir, as King Hubert is still alive.
Princess Aurora is an heiress, as King Stephan is still alive.
Princess Ariel is an heiress, but as the youngest of seven, she is unlikely to inherit, even if they were to disregard her conversion to humanity.
Princess Jasmine is an heiress -- or would be if the Kingdom permitted women to reign -- but even if Aladdin would rule in her name, the Sultan is still alive.

Thus only Prince Eric is actually a reigning monarch, which causes the list to be changed thus:

Prince Naveen and Princess Tiana (hosts)
Prince Eric and Princess Ariel (1989)
Prince Charming and Princess Cinderella (1950)
Prince Phillip and Princess Aurora (1959)
Prince Aladdin and Princess Jasmine (1992)

Note too that the last couple would have been last even if their film was earlier, as it's not clear that either would inherit the crown (well, the fat ugly hat, anyway).

More in the next post.

Part II

seeing_eye_child wrote:Princess Jasmine and Prince Aladdin (who have been visiting General Gouda and are quite sick of cheese), Rajah, Abu
Princess Ariel, Prince Eric, Sebastian (who requests to be seated as far from the kitchen as possible due to past trauma...similarly, he refuses to eat French food)
Princess Aurora, Prince Phillip, Samson (who has been naughty recently; Prince Phillip requests that he be served a dish with no carrots)
Princess Cinderella, Prince Charming, Jaques and Gus Gus (who have heard rumors of an incomprehensibly large cat on the guest list and would prefer to stay as close as possible to their beloved Cinderelly for protection)

Now let's address the portion of the table "below the salt". And believe me, the location of the salt is *most* important, as it marks the dividing line between the nobility and the commoners!

As none of the companions listed have titles, they may be assumed commoners. The sequence of their films comes first, followed by their rank within each film:

Cinderella (1950)
Gus (his formal name -- GusGus is his nickname)
Jaq (note spelling)

Sleeping Beauty (1959)
Samson

The Little Mermaid (1989)
Sebastian

Aladdin (1992)
Abu
Rajah

The big challenge here is Rajah. As a carnivore, he needs to be seated away from the others, and be served prepared meats -- not live. I think inviting him was a major error on the part of Princess Tiana. That said, we will presume he will be on his best behavior, lest an international incident occur.

Now the literal approach would be:

Gus opposite Jaq
Samson opposite Sebastian
Abu and Rajah at the foot

This doesn't put the mice next to their "Cinderelly", but we can place Samson between them and Rajah. Thus it appears that the literal dictum could be made to work with only the swap of Samson and Sebastian. This way, Samson would block Rajah from confusing Jaq with an amuse bouche, and Sebastian could discourage Abu from filching his dinner with a discrete snap or two. (One presumes Abu will be wise enough to avoid filching from Rajah's plate!)

Final suggested seating in the next message.

Part III

seeing_eye_child wrote:The guest list is as follows:

Princess Jasmine and Prince Aladdin (who have been visiting General Gouda and are quite sick of cheese), Rajah, Abu
Princess Ariel, Prince Eric, Sebastian (who requests to be seated as far from the kitchen as possible due to past trauma...similarly, he refuses to eat French food)
Princess Aurora, Prince Phillip, Samson (who has been naughty recently; Prince Phillip requests that he be served a dish with no carrots)
Princess Cinderella, Prince Charming, Jaques and Gus Gus (who have heard rumors of an incomprehensibly large cat on the guest list and would prefer to stay as close as possible to their beloved Cinderelly for protection)

My recommendation for seating, as viewed from above:

Prince Naveen and Princess Tiana at head of table
Princess Ariel opposite Prince Eric
Prince Charming opposite Princess Cinderella
Princess Aurora opposite Prince Phillip
Prince Aladdin opposite Princess Jasmine
--- salt ---
Gus opposite Jaq
Sebastian opposite Samson
Abu and Rajah at the foot

Where will they all sit and what will they be fed?

The first half of this question answered, the second half would be a most excellent question to put to Princess Tiana's chef.

Though come to think of it, I expect Tiana would just whomp up a kettle of vegetarian jambalaya, adding crawfish and other additaments as appropriate for each guest. One would have to hope that it would be sufficiently non-French that Sebastian wouldn't have flashbacks.

Questions?

Is it sad that I actually had great delight in reading this thread? lol

Question: Do you really think it's wise to have crustacean (which crawfish are) on the menu with Sebastian at table?

8^P

Can those sitting below the salt actually USE the salt? Or are they salt-free?

GaTechGal wrote:Can those sitting below the salt actually USE the salt? Or are they salt-free?

And is it Kosher?

Mayonnaise wrote:Question: Do you really think it's wise to have crustacean (which crawfish are) on the menu with Sebastian at table?

Of course not. So too it would be rude to offer Rajah horsemeat with Samson sitting (well, standing) next to him.

Come on folks, precedence is hard -- simple courtesy is easy!

GaTechGal wrote:Can those sitting below the salt actually USE the salt? Or are they salt-free?

ktulu wrote:And is it Kosher?

I can see you folks have never been to a formal state dinner!

"The Salt" is the salt grinder. It sits in the middle of the table as a marker of the line drawn between the gentry and the commoners. It is rarely functional these days, and in any event the staff would have ground the salt before the meal and placed a sufficient supply about the table before guests were seated.

Again, it's a marker, not an appliance.